we smile at the moon

EIGHT | RUNWAYS & RUMOURS

"APPARENTLY," ADELINA WHISPERED to me, "Sebastian Hong likes you."

I didn't respond immediately. In a way, it didn't all that surprise me. The consistency with which he messaged me, tried to talk to me in class, the whispering and the snickering from the rest of the boys...

I wasn't an idiot. I sensed these things.

"Well, too bad for him," I whispered back.

Adelina sent me a sideway glance. "You're going to say no? You're quite close with him. And he's good looking. Fairly popular. Nice. You get along."

"That's a friendship I'm interested in," I replied, eyes still on our speaking tutor. "Not a romance. I'm not interested in any romance, not especially right now. Besides, he hasn't actually said anything." And hopefully, he'd be smart enough to keep it all to himself.

"Huh," she murmured. "You knew, didn't you?"

"I suspected. I'm not stupid, you know, I notice things."

"How did you know?"

I shut my eyes. "He asked me to be Zhao Wan'er. You know, the Chinese magician. He's doing the runway as Xuan Hu. The most iconic pair of lovers in Chinese magician history—what else could he be trying to do?"

"Well, fuck."

"If he's clever, he won't say anything."

"He just might," Adelina told me. "If I were you, I'd start subtly dissuading him."

"I'll try my best." I'd always been a bit cold of a person—he might not even notice the difference if I started trying to push him away. That was slightly sad.

But I wasn't lying. I had no interest in entering any kind of romantic relationship with anyone, least of all Sebastian Hong. But if I pretended nothing was going on, that I didn't suspect a thing, he probably would be inclined to stay silent. That was fine by me.

I just didn't want things to be awkward. Things always got awkward when feelings got into the mix. Especially romantic ones at this age. As if any of us, any of us, knew what love actually was. Half the time, crushes weren't even crushes. People just didn't know how to differentiate their feelings.

I'd already had a few debates with Yunji over this. Yunji, who thought it didn't matter as long as you found the one. She always liked to talk like she knew exactly who that was, and lately I'd been inclined to believe she thought she had. I disagreed. Firmly.

It didn't matter if you found the one at this age. Because at the end of it, there were too many things in the way for someone at age fifteen. Exams. University. Work. It would just be the age-old tragedy of the right person at the wrong time.

I'd always been a cautious person. I wanted to do my very best to avoid that kind of situation. I was going to be here for almost four more years, I did not want to have anyone I actively needed to avoid. Especially not among the full boarders, who I'd be facing every day.

But that was just me.

I made a mental note to see how this progressed. I hope it didn't.

"So, we're doing the fashion of the early 2000s. Y2k culture, if you'd like to put it that way," Miss Carpenter announced. "Feel free to dig through your wardrobe, see if you have anything. If you want to be a model, find the sixth formers in charge—I believe that's Hannah and Kylie and sign up with them. Don't come to me, that's just useless."

Yunji strolled to me and Adelina in the corner, grinning. "Oh Adelina, Adelina, can I borrow your garments?"

Both Yunji and I dressed in a relatively similar style—the preppy style, you could say. Relatively more conservative and old-fashioned, with darker colours. Adelina was the opposite. Adelina liked to dress bright, with exaggerated pieces that instantly captured the attention of anyone in the room. She was born to be the star of the show and it was obvious in every thing she did.