we smile at the moon

TWELVE | HOMEMADE DYNAMITE

I'M OUTSIDE THE cafe.

The message was dated three minutes to go. I glanced up at the girls, laughing as we walked back to Lok House together. I'd almost wished he'd forgotten, but obviously he hadn't. And as I'd been telling myself for the past few days, it was time to put an end to this. I had to start studying for exams soon, and I didn't want this impacting my concentration.

So I turned to the nearest girl who didn't look busy—which turned out to be Yunji, because obviously–and said, "Hey, I think I left my eyeshadow back there."

Yunji turned to me, brows knitted together. "You sure? We checked everything, nothing was left—"

"Yeah, I probably took it out trying to make sure I'd taken everything back and forgot to put it back in," I lied. I was awfully good at lying sometimes. "I'll just pop back. You guys go first."

Before Yunji could say anything else, I broke into a sprint back towards the grand hall. But I didn't stop there. Instead, I ran past that, until I'd reached the Klairns' Building. I finally slowed down, sucking in a breath. I saw him instantly, a lone figure against the dark glass windows of the cafe, his lit phone screen the only thing illuminating him.

Let's do this.

And then I walked forward.

He looked up. Broke into a smile. "Oh, hi there."

"Hey," I said nonchalantly, "sorry I'm late, didn't see your message."

He blinked. "You forgot?"

I grinned sheepishly. "Hey, in my defence, it has been a very exciting night. I can't be expected to remember everything."

"I'm not blaming you," he said with a responding smile, though it was visibly tense. Well, I thought to myself. This was either going to go well or end horribly. I just hoped he'd already gotten the message, so whatever was about to go down wouldn't be shocking to him.

"So..."

He blinked at my prodding. "I think you know what I wanted to talk to you about. You've been avoiding me anyways, so I assume you do. Yeah, I think you know."

"I believe so," I said slowly and cautiously. "Sorry I avoided you, I didn't know how to handle the situation. I needed some time to think it over."

His eyes flickered to my face. I took care not to look back, biting my lower lip and fixing my gaze on his shoes. Aw fuck, this wasn't going well at all. I just had a feeling.

"Uh, so, yeah. I like you."

And now my eyes just shut. I couldn't look at him, not right now. "I know."

"And I have a feeling my feelings aren't exactly reciprocated."

"I'm sorry, but... yeah. I only see you as a friend."

My eyes had opened now, and I watched as he winced and scratched his neck. "I should have seen that coming. They all told me, the boys, they said you didn't like me that way."

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong signs before. I studied at a girls' school, you know," I explained, "I wasn't sure how to set boundaries with... well, guys. And I didn't dissuade you early on because I didn't even really know until it was too late." Part of me had seen it coming, but the same part had also told me I was overreading the situation. I hadn't confirmed it until the rumours, and by then it was already out of hand.

"You don't... you don't need to apologise." He gave me a weak smile. "It's fine, really."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my tone worried. "Because I am sorry. And I really hope we can stay friends—"