Oh Joshua!

You're so special

Jeonghan was stunned to hear this straightforwardly from Joshua. He doesn't say anything for a while, then thinks there's no use dodging the issue for so long.

 "Yes," he says. Joshua lifts his eyes at him. Jeonghan continues without looking at Joshua, "Yes, I meant to use you for my pleasures, then forget about you and move on as I do with everyone else. . . but everything got messed up this time,"

"What do you mean. . . messed up?" 

Jeonghan gazes at Joshua, "I started to have feelings for you,"

"Feelings for me?" Joshua was mute after hearing these words. Now that he mentioned it, he recalls all those times Jeonghan saying ' I like you' to him, but he couldn't comprehend why he never remembered that. "Then why did you. . ." he starts in a soft voice, ". . . why did you make me forget it?"

"Because Cheol always told me to stay away from you," Jeonghan says fumbling with a small pebble in his hand, "I was afraid you'll tell him and he'll break his friendship with me,"

"And why did he say that?"

Jeonghan glances at him, "He's a good brother, he knew I'll hurt you. . . and I did," he mumbles his last words.

"But if you like me. . . why did you use hypnosis on me the last time to kiss me? You should've respected my choices," Joshua says, still maintaining a gentle tone, he doesn't like to yell while talking.

Jeonghan takes a breath, ". . . because when I asked you out on a date and you said no, I thought. . . I thought I could never get you, but I wanted you so bad and I'm—"

"And after that, you talked so harshly with me that day in front of hyung," Joshua cuts him in the middle, "You called me a liar,"

"No! That was a clear misunderstanding!" Jeonghan says desperately, "Really, I'm not kidding. . . I never talk like that normally with anyone,"

"What misunderstanding?" Joshua frowns.

"I, um. . ." Jeonghan takes a few seconds to think, "It's something I can't tell you, I promised to Cheol," he says "But I'm really sorry to say those words to you, I didn't mean that,"

"Why? What is it about?"

"I went crazy, okay?" he makes a lie, "I have a mental disorder, I see things,"

"Maybe, you are," Joshua replies, "Were you really that crazy. . . to kiss me without my permission and using your powers on me?" 

"Joshua, I. . .I never used my powers before on anyone, it was so easy for me to get people to want me without making any effort," Jeonghan pauses, then looks straight at him, "But I fell hard for you. . . and I knew you'll never be mine, that's why, I never wanted to miss any chance to. . . to touch you and. . . k-kiss you, even if I had to use my powers,"

"Using your powers on powerless normals is wrong,"

Jeonghan waits for the irony to sink in, as he knows he's not normal and there's no match of his powers with anyone.

"I know I'm wrong," he says looking down at his lap, "And I'm so so sorry for that, Joshua. I really am. I deeply regret every moment why I did that to you. . . it was a mistake to think that you were like everyone else," he looks back into his eyes, "And here I was wrong. . . you worth much more than anyone out there, you were the only one to capture my heart, my body, my soul,"

Joshua didn't know what to say to that for a while, then slowly speaks, "Do you really like me?"

"Yes! Yes, I do!" Jeonghan says vulnerably, "You. . ." he laughs at himself, "You always gives me butterflies, whenever I look at your face. You make me feel all gushy and warm inside. . . I really like these new feelings I'm experiencing because of you,"

Joshua blushes, "What are you saying?" he mumbles shyly, darting his eyes away from Jeonghan. "I'm not that special,"

"You are, Joshua. . . you're so special," he says lightly touching his face, Joshua shifts his eyes back at him, "And I'm ready to do anything to turn back time. . . I want to restart with you, I want to get closer to you, and not just physically. . . I want to know you as a person, love you like everyone in your family does to you,"

Joshua doesn't reply, just stares into the eyes of vampire, trying to apprehend if he actually means what he was saying. Noticing his quietness, Jeonghan says again, "Can we forget everything that happened? Please. . . I'll start praying to Satan from now on, I promise,"

"What?" Joshua furrows his brows, "Didn't you say you were Christian?"

"Uh. . ." Jeonghan was forgetting that Joshua doesn't know about himself, "I mean. . . Satan isn't that bad either," he laughs nervously, "So, what do you think then?" he says, "Will you be able to restart with me without feeling uncomfortable about past?"

"I think-" Joshua couldn't even initiate when Jeonghan's phone starts ringing.

 He fishes it out and sees Seungcheol's grim face staring at him from the screen, Jeonghan waits for a second then picks up the voice call, "What?" he says directly.

"Have you seen Joshua?"

Jeonghan glances at the said person from the side eye, "Yeah, he's with me on the beach,"

"Wait, what are you doing with him? Jeonghan, I swear if you-"

"Relax, my friend. . . he's safe. We were just having a nice chat,"

 "Ok, well, come back at the resort, both of you. Dinner is ready,"

"Will be there in five. . ." Jeonghan hangs up and turns to Joshua, "Dinner call. . . are you sobered up?"

"Y-Yeah. . . pretty much," Joshua smiles faintly.

Jeonghan stands up and extends his hand to Joshua, "C'mon, let's go back,"

"But what you were asking-"

"It's alright," Jeonghan smiles, "Think it over. You can give me your answer anytime,"

Joshua nods and grabs his hand.