Bygone

16

Walls

Marcus remembered her smile. There was something about it, about her, that he cherished so deeply.

The colours that the sunshine painted on her face cycled through hues when they talked then. There was this inspiriting, enlivening warmth that was brought into being through hearing the laughter that only her voice could enounce. In her eyes was the reflection of a thousand dreams drawn across stars in an empty sky like constellations, she was the tasteful eminence that engulfed every sweet flavour in the millions of candies, so why?

It didn't make sense. Why would she let this happen? Why did it come down to this? Why would she pretend?

Marcus could feel the cut on his lips stinging as saliva streamed from the side of his cheek. The muscles on his face were too loose, perhaps even dead. Not a single expression, not a single ounce of emotion. Just splotches of blood, increments of saliva and sweat mixing as he listened to them enjoy their time breaking him.

Everything was aching, aching, ACHING. His voice was empty and not even a word could be uttered to save himself, if anyone were even able to hear him.

Then, another kick to his back.

Spit shot from his mouth as his body tensed again, and again, and again with each successive kick that came. A struggled cough from a bruised throat. He was too weak to even fight back. The insanity and need to cry and scream and pray that someone would come to heal him from every wound, inside and out, that bled him.

Melodies of laughter, of a supposed 'righteous' laughter, hums and singing of the words "Yeah" and "Get him!" sang on and on as he craved an ending.

It's okay, they're just kids like me.

All done in the hidden behind of the church's car park.

It's okay, they're just having fun.

He shouldn't have fallen into such a devoted, almost obsessive crush that has kept him in a spiral.

But it hurts.

Marcus didn't want it anymore; that fantasy life with Jaclyn, the one person who showed him compassion and a calmed comfort when he needed it those few years ago. These strong emotions, these powerful feelings towards someone who didn't even know who he was and towards a girl that he never saw this cruel temperament and only saw the kindness and friendship that she gave him.

There she was, his eyes caught her fleeting past off in the distance.

Jaclyn saw him, she saw what her "friends" were doing to him after she revealed to everyone that he tried to connect with her through conversation. And she kept slowly walking on, the silence in the space between the both of them.

Was it so wrong? Was it so wrong? Was it so wrong to try? To want to be friends with someone? To take that first step when he knew they would never bat an eye at him?

Marcus couldn't move anymore. He couldn't even fight back against the four thirteen year old boys to save himself from this fate. It was so cruel, it was so damn cruel. It was her fault, and even then, and god, even then, he fell in love with the features of her face.

Jaclyn truly was so beautiful to him. And wished he could find a way to hate her for what she caused, and yet instead he couldn't even hate the boys that were breaking him. It was torture feeling this way. It was torture wanting to hate someone he held so dear.

Was it all a lie? Was their momentary friendship a lie? Did she play along to get her friends to laugh at him at each time he believed it meant something to her as well?