Redeeming My Existence (Completed)

47. I'm Sorry

"Keava.." Zane's deep voice says my name sadly.

I stop moving and turn to face him. The sparks bring a longing out in me that I didn't know was there after not feeling them for several hours.

Zane looks rough, there are dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. It is apparent he didn't get an ounce of sleep since our fight yesterday right before dinner. His breathing is swallow like he is nervous and there in the bond from his end, I can feel hints of sadness mixed with nerves.

"I am so incredibly sorry, and I know that right now that is not enough." His eyes show his sincerity of it all.

"Not really, but I am sorry too for things I said. It's just I have been trying to figure out why you would threaten such a thing or seem like how I feel about you dying could mean so little." I sigh and hold in my emotions.

Just from his touch alone, I want to melt or break down in tears. I have lost more than enough people I love and care about. Zane knows this and yet he could talk about his death so easily.

"Would you please come with me somewhere? Just us to where we can get away and talk this through." Zane whispers.

I think back to Jasel's words and we do need to work through this because the pack doesn't need leaders who are at odds with each other. Not to mention, I love Zane with all my heart so I really do what us to overcome this. Can we ever get back to the way we were before though without this changing us to much for the worst?

"Can we get over this fight though Zane? Is there even hope that if something hard comes up you won't just throw me out the door with just saying what you will do without how I may feel?"

"Yes. I can promise that now." Zane nods slowly.

I look back to the kitchen door. "Give me one minute please?" I look back to him.

"Of course." Zane steps back.

I walk through the kitchen door and Jasel turns to look at me. I wave her over and she walks the few steps away from the others.

"Everything okay?" Jasel looks me over. her mothering instinct kicking in harder.

"I think so. Zane asked me to go with him somewhere we can talk away from everyone."

"I say go for it Keava. You both really need this and it will help to lay down the boundaries that every mateship needs to have." Jasel rubs my arm.

"I agree with that. I just wanted to let you know that way if anyone says anything Zane and I are having a private moment. You know that you can reach us through the link if its important."

"I got this here." Jasel smiles.

I give her a quick hug and step back out of the kitchen. Zane is leaned against the wall, having not moved an inch from where I left him standing. His head jerks in my direction when the door closes.

"I am ready to leave out when you are." I whisper.

Zane nods. "Would you be okay if I shifted and you jump on my back to ride there?"

I nod and walk outside with Zane. Together we walk to the woodline and he stops looking back at me.

"Would you be okay with holding my clothes?" His voice is still soft and deep.

"Sure." I nod.

Zane strips down and I can't help but check him out. After all he has the sexiest body I have ever seen, with all the muscles and his nice rod out for my eyes to see.

There is no hiding the fact I am checking out my mate and Zane knows it with the smirk he tries to hide.

A seond later he stands tall in Ruken's form. My hand goes through his fur and a low rumble comes from deep in his throat. I have never been able to cherish this side of Zane and Ruken, so I am taking my chance now even with how I have felt.

Their front paws move down some and I feel like I am jumping onto a horse. I hold Zane's clothes tight with how he folded them to me in with one hand and the other is holding the scruff part of his fur.

They start to move and it feels like he is prancing before he starts a slow run through the woods. Time leaves me as I enjoy the speed at which Ruken and Zane move their paws. It has been so long since I felt the wind through my hair at this speed and I honestly miss it. Even though it feels slightly weird not running myself and sitting on his back through it all, there is fun in this way and maybe we can do this again at some point.

Just as Zane starts to slow down, a beautiful crystal clear steam comes into view. We walk by it and I can see the tiny fish swim by us until we walk up to where there are rocks and a small waterfall. The flowers line the forest floor make this place smell so sweet and the sun shining down makes it all the brighter with the colors the flowers put off.

I slide off of Zane's back and can hear when he shifts a moment later. I place his clothes on the ground and wonder over to the waters edge. Squatting down, I put my fingers in to feel the warm temperature of the water making it hard not to just jump in and enjoy its beauty.

Once I stand back up, Zane's arms wrap around me and he pulls me against his hard chest. His shirt is still off and with the top I have on has my skin touching his in vast amounts.

"I am so sorry Keava. I will never threatening you again, that is a promise I can make here and now. It kills me with the thought of losing you and I know that my life would be over right with yours." Zane whispers, his nose in my hair.

I spin in his arms and look up at him.

"It is the same for me Zane. When you talked so easily about fighting to the death it angered and hurt me all at the same time, but anger was the emotion I felt the most. You of all people know what I have been through because once we mated you seen and felt it all as I did, so it got the hardest. Then for the last week we have talked on and off about kids. I am the worst for throwing that at you, so I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for because if it wasn't for me saying what I did then you wouldn't have felt the need to say that. Keava you had every right to say what you did and I deserved it all."

We fall into a comfortable silence.

I start to laugh and Zane looks at me funny.

"See that wasn't so hard to talk it through. If only anger wasn't an emotion that clouds it all and makes things go straight to a fight."

Zane finally chuckles some with me.

"I will make it up to you and will continue making it up to you, my treasure. First I want to give you something." Zane moves one of his hands to his pocket.

A/N---
Hey Hey Guys!!!

Good to see them both apologizing right?

What more will they do now as next steps to everything?