Macdonald Hall #2: Go Jump in the Pool

The secret ingredient

The bench in the Headmaster's office was especially uncomfortable that morning. Bruno and Boots sat, hands nervously folded in their laps, waiting for Mr. Sturgeon to pronounce sentence upon them. It did not raise their hopes to see that he wore a bandage around his head and appeared to be in an irritable mood.

"I don't suppose it occurred to either of you that what you were doing is against the law."

Bruno and Boots remained silent.

"Did you take any money from passing motorists?"

"No sir," said Bruno. "Your car was the first one to come along."

"Well, thank goodness for that, anyway," said the Headmaster. "You did not actually break the law then. But you certainly intended to. Specifically, receiving money under false pretenses constitutes fraud. And that is very serious."

Boots's stomach growled noisily. He had been too nervous to eat breakfast.

Mr. Sturgeon paused to allow his words to sink in, and then continued. "This time you have not only got yourselves into serious trouble, but you have also corrupted two boys whose previous records were spotless. I wish to know what part Hackenschleimer and Talbot played in this escapade."

"It was all my fault, sir," said Bruno steadily. "I got Chris to make the signs and Wilbur to get the saw horses, and at the last minute I talked them into working the tollbooth. I'm completely to blame, sir."

"And me," Boots added quickly.

Mr. Sturgeon nodded and began to tell Bruno and Boots what he had been telling himself ever since the swim meet. "This entire fund-raising campaign was sparked by the lowest of motives — jealousy. You have kept it going by feeding this jealousy, and I blame myself for not putting a stop to it sooner. Your aim is not so much to have a pool because you want one as to have a pool because they have one. That attitude is childish and unworthy of you.

"And now, your punishment. At seven each morning you will report to the kitchen to assist the staff in any duties they may find for you. During the noon hour you will do the same. At four in the afternoon you will pick up every scrap of litter on the campus until five, when you will report to the kitchen once more to assist in the serving of dinner. You will eat all your meals in the kitchen. After dinner, from seven-thirty to nine, you are assigned to wash dishes without the usual payment. Since it is autumn, you will spend your weekends raking leaves. After nine in the evenings you are confined to your room where you will do your homework and prepare the five thousand word essay which I am assigning. The subject — fraud."

The Headmaster stopped for breath. "In case this schedule leaves you any time for privileges, I hereby revoke them all. This punishment will apply until further notice. The fund-raising campaign, of course, is over. If you are caught raising money, you will be expelled. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then," said Mr. Sturgeon, glancing at his wrist-watch, "you are dismissed. I believe you are on duty in the kitchen now."

* * *

As Bruno and Boots slaved over the serving of breakfast, they were too upset to appreciate the humour of the comments from their classmates in the dining room. "Hey, Walton, there's a fly in my porridge!"

"Boots, this orange juice tastes like dishwater!"

"Hurry up with those pancakes, Walton!"

"Oh, bus-boy..."

"Wash your hands, Bruno. There's going to be an inspection by the Board of Health."

"What did you guys do to deserve this?"