Macdonald Hall #2: Go Jump in the Pool

For he's a jolly good fellow!

"Mildred, I cannot imagine what this is about!" said Mr. Sturgeon, knotting his tie. "I am not accustomed to being called to assembly by my students. If it has anything to do with fund-raising, I promise you I shall wring their necks!"

"I have no idea what it means," his wife said, putting the finishing touches on her hair-do. "Bruno and Melvin showed up at the door at four o'clock and invited us to a special assembly after dinner. I've been phoning around to the faculty and it seems that everyone is invited, but no one knows what it's all about."

"If Walton and O'Neal are behind it," the Headmaster said sourly, "it's probably a new fund-raising scheme. We shall all be held for ransom."

"Hurry now," she said, "or we'll be late. We're to meet Miss Scrimmage outside the auditorium in five minutes."

"Miss Scrimmage? Why is she invited?"

"Well, I don't know, dear. Let's go and find out:"

* * *

Mr. Sturgeon's fears were confirmed as he, his wife and Miss Scrimmage were seated in the front row of the auditorium. On the platform were Bruno and Boots, Wilbur, Chris, Elmer and Mark — the entire fund-raising committee. To make matters more perplexing, the extra boy on the stage, George Wex,ford-Smyth III, was known to be generally disliked. Where did he fit in? What was going on here?

Because of the presence of Miss Scrimmage's girls, the auditorium was packed to overflowing. Students were sitting on the floor in the aisles.

Bruno stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Honoured guests, fellow students," he began, and it was apparent that he had rehearsed very carefully. "We are gathered here this evening to celebrate a memorable event. I would now like to call Mr. Sturgeon to the platform, as I have a few brief words to address to him."

As Mr. Sturgeon joined him at the microphone, Bruno reached into his pocket and produced enough paper for a two-hour speech. There were loud groans from the audience and several elaborate yawns. Mr. Sturgeon silenced everyone with one cold look. He felt like the leading actor in a farce and was not in a particularly good mood.

"Mr. Sturgeon," Bruno began, "I — we — George — silver — here, sir!" His face flaming red and his speech forgotten, Bruno whipped an envelope out of his pocket and thrust it into the Headmaster's hand.

"Great speech!" Cathy Burton cheered from the back row.

Mystified, Mr. Sturgeon opened the envelope and removed the contents. He found himself holding a cheque in the amount of $32,234.82. There was a long silence. The Headmaster stared from the cheque to Bruno and back to the cheque again.

"It's for a pool, sir," Bruno stammered, "with extra dressing rooms for the girls because they helped. And a sauna. And please, sir, could it be bigger than York Academy's pool? Even if it's just a little bigger?"

An unfamiliar expression came over the Headmaster's face. He took out his handkerchief and blew his nose loudly. In the front row Mrs. Sturgeon was dabbing at her eyes with a lace hanky and trying to quiet Miss Scrimmage, who was sobbing uncontrollably. The cheering from the boys was deafening, and the girls were standing up and dancing wherever they could find room to put a foot down. Confetti flew like snow, and several boys waved hand-made victory flags.

"Aren't you happy, sir?" Bruno shouted over the din.

"Very happy indeed," said Mr. Sturgeon. "But where on earth did you get so much money?"

"It's a very long story, sir," said Bruno hesitantly.

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Not at all sure. But perhaps I'd better. After the assembly, I want to see you and O'Neal privately in my office."