Grianangst

Hurting

 Double life! Scarian angst :)

It was night. Some people on the server were sleeping, some others were planning to kill someone or setting traps. And some other people were in a dark forest, meeting their "Secret soulmate".

"Hey BigB!", Grian smiled as he saw the tall man approaching. "Grian my love, hello!" BigB embraced Grian with a big hug. The hug seemed so comforting and lovely, at least for BigB. He couldn't see the face of regret and sadness Grian had in this moment. As they let go of each other pulled Grian a box out of his bagpack. "Here. I got you some cookies!" Grian didn't tell BigB who baked the cookies, it would break him. BigB took the box excited and opened it.  "Awww that's so cute, they look amazing, thank you",  said BigB with a big smile and flushed face. 

If only Grian could feel the same. 

"You're welcome." It seemed like Grian tried too much to seem happy. "Grian, are you alright darling?" 

Stop calling me that. 

"Yeah I'm good, thanks dude! I'm gonna go home, I feel a headache incoming." "Oh alright. Take care of yourself handsome!"

Ew.

"Thank you."

.

As Grian opened the door he already saw Scar sitting on the table with Jellie in his lap. He couldn't unsee his sad face and definetly not that he cried before. A lot.

"How was it with your 'Secret soulmate'?" Scar's voice was quiet and broken but loud enough to understand the words and the heartbreak he was going through. Grian sighed. 

"I'm sorry Sca-"

 "OH YEAH, YOU'RE SORRY? YOU'RE SORRY TO LEAVE ME ALONE AT HOME, WORRIED IF MY SOULMATE EVER COMES BACK AGAIN? YOU'RE SORRY THAT WHEN SOMEONE VISITS US I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU'RE GONE CHEATING ON ME? YOU'RE SORRY THAT I WAIT EVERY FUCKING MINUTE OF MY LIFE FOR A MESSAGE OF YOU JUST TO KNOW IF YOU ARE OKAY? THEN WHY DO YOU DO THIS? WHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING M-"

 "BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE YOU DIE AGAIN, OKAY?"

Grian curled up in a ball. He hated shouting. He hated it so much. Scar realized his mistake really fast.

"Grian, I'm so so sorry, I know that you hate shouting, I'm so sorry." Grian tried to say something, he really did. But it seemed as if all his emotions who were bottled up finally came out. He cried. He cried remembering every time where he pretended to love BigB, every time he saw Scar being hurt, everytime he felt or saw Scar dying. Everything. 

Suddendly he felt two strong arms around him, Scar, his soulmate, his only love he ever had, his weakness hugging him. And it was beautiful, he felt safe.

After Grian calmed down they went to their bed, still hugging. 

"So, you never loved BigB?", Scar asked. "No. It was just-- After Third Life, after I-I killed you... Everytime I saw you I relived the memory again. The blood on my hands, your screams... It was horrible." Grian started crying again but it was a soft, he was tired. Tired of all of this.

"I'm so, so, so, fucking sorry Scar." "Hey, it's okay. Just promise to never hide something that important from me ever again, promise?"

"Promise"