When Does Hope Begin?

Iris

"Peach? Is everything okay?" His voice was a sweet balm on her soul as she fought with the turmoil on the inside. Peach could feel his concern through the phone despite the distance that separated them.

"I don't know," her voice broke as all the feelings overwhelmed her, causing a sob to be wretched from deep within her. "I don't know if everything is okay." She had wanted to tell him in a happy tone, and she wanted this to be something joyful and not marred by the circumstances.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's going on," he coaxed. Steve was used to being in charge of situations of being able to reassure her physically, but he was thousands of miles away. She could almost hear him clutch the phone tightly.

"Steve," his voice was a plea on her lips, knowing it was one he couldn't answer. He felt it was too dangerous, or he would have saved her from the quiet hell her life had become.

"Peach? What is it, sweetheart?" Ross had said Steve broke the criminals out, but there was always some lingering doubt. There was a panicked edge to his voice, the restraint from falling off the edge without first knowing what was wrong being the sign of a leader. She heard a muffled voice in the background telling her she wasn't alone, which relieved her.

"Congratulations, Steve, you're going to be a Dad," she tried to infuse the joy in her tone, canceling out the fear and panic enveloping her. "I found out this morning."

"I'm going to be a Dad?" The soft reverent tone from a face she couldn't see caused her to curl inwards and sob.

"Yes, unless you're not my Steve Rogers," she tried to joke, but it fell flat as exhaustion ate away at her. There was no real happiness that she could find in the situation. It was terrible. Peach struggled to find something else to say that wouldn't break them both. She was trying to trust the process, but a baby was on the line. Running away seemed so simple before, but could she run now? Could she afford not to run? Ross and Ellis were going to find out eventually, and then she'd be forced for more questioning. They were slowly making her life more difficult, and they were convinced she knew about where Steve was. They hadn't believed her when she said that she hadn't talked to him since he left. She'd been telling the truth until she broke a promise to herself, let Steve call first.

"How are you feeling? Are you going to see a doctor?" His rapid-fire session made her feel a bit better about being panicked. He was feeling it, too, so she wasn't alone in the overwhelming feelings. "Peach?" There was a hint of impatience at her sudden silence. She relished his questions, and he was waiting not so patiently for a response.

"As soon as I call tomorrow, I'll have an appointment," she told him softly, wiping at the tears still streaming down her face.

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you really want to know, Steve?" It wasn't accusatory, and it wasn't mad. Her tone stated how defeated she was in keeping up the happy persona. Just for the moment, she let it drop to show how hollow she was feeling. He made a noise that told her he wanted to know. "Terrible. I'm feeling terrible. I can't keep much food down, and I'm no longer allowed to have coffee, at least from what I've read. I'm alone and scared, and you're not here." The last part slipped out without her permission, but it was out, and there was no taking it back.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," his voice came through, penetrating the sounds of her sobs. Which just made her cry harder.

"I don't know if I can do this without you, please Steve, come get me," Peach begged the super soldier, clutching the phone to her ear. "Steve... Please...."

"I have to find a place for you, sweetheart. It's not safe to travel with you being pregnant," Steve spoke softly, afraid to upset her more. "We're still on the move constantly, and most women need doctors, right?"

"I don't care! I need you, Steve," Peach nearly yelled into the phone before going quiet. There was no fight left in her.

"I'll see what I can do," Steve promised. Peach wasn't sure it was something that he could deliver on. Her heart was shattering all over again. "You'll have to be careful when you call. I don't want you getting in trouble."

"I know, Steve... I don't want them to take the baby," Ellis and Ross would find a way to use this to their advantage. "I don't want to lose our baby."

"I won't let that happen, sweetheart," another empty promise. "I'll come and get you before I let that happen, but I need you to see a doctor and do what's best for the baby."

"Okay," her tone had lost some of the emotion behind it. She was drained and was feeling very alone. She moved herself to the bed, the very big and empty bed, still listening to him. He was speaking quietly to people around him. His whispers were tense, rigid, and short. "I have to go. I'm going to charge the phone, and I need to try to sleep. I haven't been sleeping." Steve went silent for a moment, no doubt trying to decide if she was mad at him or not.

"Okay, I love you, Peach. I'm so happy to know," his voice choked at the end, and she imagined he was finally feeling the emotions hit him.

"I love you too, Steve. Please be careful. We both need you," with that, they hung up, and she stared at her ceiling as the emotions rolled over her in waves. She had to call her doctor in the morning, but if they managed to get ahold of her health records, that would spell trouble. It would be hard enough to hide her baby bump when she began to show if they continued their harassment.

Peach slept through the entire next day and woke up early the day after feeling sick, hungry, and even more depressed than the day before. She had to call Steve, but it had hurt her deeply to know that there was no way he could magically appear and help her out. Steve had spoken about wanting kids before going into the ice, and they both mentioned maybe kids in the future. Peach could firmly say it wasn't the future she had envisioned for them. Her movements were sluggish even after the shower she had taken, and the phone call to her doctor went okay. Most likely just an appointment to confirm pregnancy and her levels. It was going to be lonely, and she had to prepare herself for it. Her closest friends were on the run in other countries with the baby's father, and she refused to contact Rhodey or Tony.

Peach was brought out of her thoughts by a knock on her door. There wasn't anyone to visit. Ellis and Ross came through the shop because they wanted witnesses to their intimidation. She had to have certain decorum in public, not so much in the privacy of her own home. She walked down the steps a bit sluggishly, her stomach threatening to throw up the toast she'd eaten. "One minute," the knocking grew insistent, and when she finally opened the door, Peach merely rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"That's hurtful. I thought we were friends," Tony said, crossing his arms as he waited to be let in, but Peach wasn't in the mood for niceties.

"Were being the keyword in that sentence," Peach responded waspishly, her green eyes narrowed in irritation. "I have things to do, and interacting with you, interestingly enough, is not on the list."

"Look, I just noticed your shop was closed yesterday. I wanted to check and see if you were okay," Tony held his hands out to show he meant no harm, but Peach wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"I'm sick, it happens a lot these days. Happy? Good? You can go away. I have things I have to do today," Peach glanced at her Fitbit, frowning, realizing if she didn't leave soon, there would be no way to make it to her appointment on time.

"Sick? You've never been sick," Tony argued, seemingly peering closer at her. Peach took a step back before turning her back, trotting halfway up the stairs, and grabbing her purse before coming back down to leave.

"It happens when you're stressed, so, if you'll excuse me, the flower shop is closed again, and you'll have to get them somewhere else if you're looking to buy," she told him, pushing by the man and sighing as he followed her down the street. "Tony... I have several trains to catch, and I don't have time to deal with you, all right? Make an appointment with me, and we'll deal with whatever this is."

"I've been trying for months! You won't give me the time of day," Tony exclaimed in frustration, and Peach turned to face him completely. The audacity blew her away.

"Have you ever thought you might be the reason for that? That it being, you are the reason I won't give you the time of day? I have to give my time of day to Ellis and Ross at least once a week. My entire life has been ripped to shreds, thanks to you. Of course, I don't want anything to do with you, and the fact you can't understand tells me that you have no business speaking to me," with that, Peach turned around and left him standing in the middle of the busy New York sidewalk.