When Does Hope Begin?

Petunia

It had taken a week before Steve had even allowed Peach to attempt to walk anywhere besides the bathroom by herself. He watched her every move ready to whisk her off somewhere safe and away from anyone that seemed to be upsetting her. Peach had never seen him so disheveled, he appeared to be near feral with keeping her safe which meant that only Sam had come to see her. Steve was keeping the others at bay afraid she'd get tired out too quickly. At first, she was okay with it only because she couldn't keep her eyes open and they had to give her the nutrients she had been lacking for a month. Now Peach was getting antsy, she wanted to see past her room, past the exam room she found had found herself in several times since waking up. 

"I want to go for a walk," Peach said, she was sitting on the bed to conserve what strength she did have. While healing her strength would take a while to come back completely, at least that is what Shuri said. Shuri had been encouraging her to walk and get it back a little each day and while the room was bigger than her old apartment it was the same four walls every day. Her hands fisted in her lap ready for Steve's denial. He hadn't been willing to let her out of the room and she understood but Peach was honestly afraid that her imprisonment affected him more than herself. Perhaps it was the trauma of leaving her behind in an effort to save her and realizing it hadn't mattered. 

"You're still healing," Steve protested, having frozen in place after going around the room and picking up pieces of clothing that had been haphazardly discarded. Peach had been given maternity clothes to wear courtesy of Wakanda's royal family but she found herself uncomfortable as they seemed much more lavish than she was used to. 

"Shuri says the only way to build up my strength is to walk and I've been walking the same room for a week, I'm over it," Peach wanted to seem sure to him, unmovable in her decision, but she was afraid of pushing him. He was moodier than she remembered him ever being, and the fact she had met to meet his best friend, the one he risked it all for, chafed. Was she not good enough? Logically Peach knew that was the hormones trying to get to her but he hadn't even brought Bucky to the room they were sharing. 

"Sweetheart... I know you hate being in here but you're safe here. Shuri is here in case you or the baby needs something," Steve coaxed sensing her rising distress, something Peach usually loved about him but was finding irritating. He moved over to her and grasped her clenched hands trying to get them to relax in his but Peach wasn't giving in. 

"I was trapped for over a month, Steve, in one room," Peach pressed, mildly aware that using her imprisonment to get what she wanted was low but she wanted out. The grip on her hand was nearly painful and she met devastated blue eyes making her inhale sharply. "Please... Just... Please I can't be in this room any longer." Tears find their way down her still-pale cheeks, her feelings bubbling up all over again. 

"I know you were trapped," Steve responded stiffly, and she watched his adam apple bob as he struggled with his own rising emotions. 

"Bring the wheelchair you use to push me in to go to the exams then. Let me walk... Take me outside Steve... I've seen it from the window but that's not the same, please," Peach begged, her bottom lip wobbled as the tears slipped down her cheeks. Before her stint on the Raft, she would have just told him what she was doing. Since being back Sam had told her that Steve had changed after finding out. She did notice he was sleeping less, and he was rarely away from her side which she appreciated on some level. They'd been separated for so long that Peach didn't desire to be away from him but she did desire to see him outside of the room. Peach watched as the lover of her life let out a shuddering breath and give a sharp nod. 

"All right, anywhere in particular?" Steve asked, he tried to keep his tone light but his shoulders carried all of his stress. They had tensed up significantly throughout the conversation. 

"I want... I want to meet Bucky," Peach watched him stiffen a bit and wondered if she'd pushed him too far with the request. Sam told him that they found a way to get the Hydra control out of his shortly after putting him back in the frozen sleep.  Which was great news! Peach was so happy that the healing could start for the tortured soul but she wondered if Steve wasn't on that path. 

"Okay, but we'll definitely need the wheelchair... He has his own hut away from all of this. I'll get some bottled water too, the heat can be dangerous if you're not hydrated," Steve left the room after pressing a kiss to Peach's forehead. Taking it as a win, Peach stood up and groaned as she struggled for a moment and searched for the flats that Shuri had been so kind to give her. They were easy to slip on and off in case Steve ever let her off bed rest. When Steve came back he witnessed Peach tearfully messing with her lackluster black hair. 

"You're still gorgeous," he told her, moving into the room and placing the bag down. Steve went to stand behind her and gathered her hair into his hands and ran his fingers through it. Shuri had suggested cutting it when she first arrived. Her hair was tangled, matted, and filthy. Steve had refused and merely asked for a brush and took his time brushing it out before getting help in washing it. Peach realized it was because so much had been taken from her that Steve was trying to stop something else from being taken from her hands. It was one of the sweetest things he'd ever done. 

"I'm fat," that wasn't entirely true, and Peach was aware of it. She was severely underweight for being nearly eight months along. "My hair is... Meh." She felt his arms come around her and his hands go over her rounded belly, cupping her as if to feel the baby along with herself. 

"You're pregnant, with my baby, there's nothing more gorgeous than that," his voice had dropped lower in reverence. Peach could see his tired blue eyes shining with unshed tears as he felt his child move against his hands. She reached up and rubbed his beard-covered jaw, leaning back and kissing his cheek. 

"I want to meet the other Uncle of our baby," Peach changed the subject knowing that they were both dealing with demons. He was facing the fact he'd missed the entire pregnancy. "I also want to see sunlight!" Excitement bubbled up as she moved out of his embracement and walked to the door, her gait a little less than a straight walk than a waddle. She noticed it more prominent in the last week as she practiced walking. Steve quickly followed behind pushing the wheelchair and grabbing the bag he'd discarded full of snacks and water. She walked happily through the halls of the Wakandan palace not noticing the grins on the guard's faces when they noticed Steve following behind with the wheelchair. 

At the first glimpse of full sunlight, Peach grimaced, her eyes having a hard time adjusting. When Steve handed Peach a pair of sunglasses she grumbled but took them, he was apparently more ready for the venture she begged for than she was. She was also ready to die of humiliation when her body couldn't even make it halfway to the hut. "Steve," it came out as a sigh as Peach wrestled with the fact that exhaustion was eating away at her nerves so soon after leaving the Palace. 

"I got you, sweetheart," Steve responded softly, moving the wheelchair and helping her get comfortable before beginning to push her the rest of the way. Try as she might, Peach couldn't hide the upset she was feeling at not making it that far from the palace. "Don't be upset. You... You're still healing. I've also kept you locked up... I'm sorry. The fresh air, walking, all of it is good for you and our baby I just feel..." He waffled for a moment trying to find the right term for his feelings. 

"Scared?" Peach offered, she didn't look up at him to see if he nodded in agreement. "So am I. I'm terrified that Ellis or Ross will find a way to take me away. That somehow Wakanda won't be able to prevent them from taking me." It was something that woke her up from a dead sleep. Shuri had mentioned talking to someone but Peach honestly just wanted to digest what happened to her first. While a therapist was not the worst idea it just didn't appeal to her to talk to another stranger. To let someone else into her life that would then learn of her lowest points. Steve had asked about it but didn't push when she abruptly changed the subject and she used to easily tell him everything. 

"I won't let that happen," Steve's hand gripped the wheelchair handles so hard they creaked under the pressure. "I'll kill them before I let that happen." Peach started and looked up at Steve to see his gaze turn a dark steel blue. They were different from the last time they saw each other but Sam was most concerned after he found out about the baby and then when she was taken. Sam speculated he was fighting massive guilt and rage that the man had probably never had to deal with before. Revenge wasn't the answer but that meant Steve was just holding onto the rage and it was building. The pressure he was under was no doubt immense but Peach didn't know how to help. 

"Steve... It's okay, you know, to talk to me about it. About how you feel... I mean... I know we haven't really discussed the baby," Peach realized he had accepted that they were going to have a baby but there was no way for her to know how he truly felt. Especially now that he could see the evidence of them having a baby. She was rounder, and her emotions much more wild than they had been. 

"You could talk to me too," Steve countered gently, keeping his manners mild after his little outburst. Peach flinched a bit knowing he hadn't meant it maliciously but it hurt nonetheless. 

"I mean about the baby! How do you feel about the baby? I mean really feel about the baby. Not your noble answer," the frustration slipped from Peach before she could real it back in. Her hands once folded in a relaxed manner tensed the moment she let the words slip. 

"Do... You think I regret our baby?" Steve not only sounded galled by the question but they had stopped moving. He moved to the front of the wheelchair and kneeled down with a frown on his face. "Have I given you a reason to think I regret the baby?"  

"No! No, I just... You were on the run, Steve," Peach wished that could explain everything that she meant. How everything made her truly feel. "The baby came out of nowhere and because I was pregnant and caught you had to risk your life again to save me."  She felt his large hands encompass hers. 

"I'd do it a thousand times over if I had to," Steve spoke fiercely, his blue meeting her green in a silent promise. "I never want to do it again. I never want to see you as I did but I would. I'll never let them hurt you like that again. Sure I wasn't expecting you to be pregnant and I wish we had been married beforehand but no... I love this baby. I loved this baby the moment you told me you were pregnant. I regret not picking you up and bringing you to Wakanda. I was an idiot to leave you for as long as I did." Tears splashed down both of their faces as he pressed a kiss to her dress-covered baby and then moved to her lips. He was coaxing and needy all at the same time. 

"Hey Punk, what are you doing all the way out here?" Came another voice that startled them both. Peach flushed red and glanced around Steve's shoulder and blinked. James Buchanan Barnes no longer looked as he did at the museum. His hair was longer but it was half pulled back, and there were bags under his eyes. As if he wasn't sleeping. 

Steve took a deep breath, drew himself up to his full height, and let it out. His grin was dim but it was there and Peach's heart thumped painfully. "Hey, I'd like you to meet someone. Well... Two someone's actually," Peach tried to straighten herself up as he prepared to introduce them. 

"Meet my girl, Peach."