The kiss was a week ago and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Everytime Reece said his name I panicked. I had been on edge the whole week. I was sat on the sofa in mine and Reece's houses watching todays choreography that was filmed when I heard Reece's voice. "Millie I'm back babe. Mase and chilly are here as well." He called from the hallway before I heard him reopen the front door and let the boys in. My heart sped up. He was here and I would have to act completely normal. The three boys walked into the room and Reece walked over to me and kissed me softly. As he did it I couldn't help but look at Ben and how he turned away to talk to Mase when it happened. "What you watching?" Reece asked me. "Some todays rehearsal." I said shrugging. He smiled and nodded before walking to the kitchen asking if we wanted a drink on his way. Me and Ben said no and Mase when to the kitchen with Reece to look at options. The tension in the room was suffocating and I just carried on watching my phone trying to avoid any awkward interactions. Ben walked over and sat down very close to me. "Can I see?" He asked softly nodding at my phone. I looked up at him and smiled, "of course." I passed him my phone feeling sparks as his hand brushed mine. I watched as he smiled at my phone before I suddenly felt sad. There was this feeling between us and it was undeniable. As if Ben could almost sense my change of mood he nudged me getting my attention. "I want to try things with you. Like be in a relationship." He whispered to me. I gasped shocked at his revelation. "We can't. Reece." I simply said. "He doesn't have to know." He said as he looked down and interlocked our fingers. I sighed. "I can't break up with him ben. You have to know that. At least not yet." I whispered to him after a few minutes of silence. He looked up at me smiling, "that's okay I just want to try things." He said to me. I slowly nodded. If I was honest so do I. "You have to act normal with him though mils. He can't suspect anything." He said to me. "I know but what if we get caught. There is hundreds of reasons we shouldn't do this" I said to him. "I know but there is hundred why we should as well. I really like you mils please?" He almost begged me. I looked into his eyes and realised he hadn't gelled his hair. "You didn't put gel in it." I said softly. He smiled, "you said you didn't like." He said back quickly. I nodded, "okay but we don't have sex. I can't do that to him." I said to him. He nodded and linked our pinkies. "I promised you. No matter how hard that will be" he replied. We was interrupted by footsteps and Ben picked my phone up quickly. "What are you two doing?" Reece asked when he saw how close we were. "I was showing Ben my dance and telling him what things was." I lied, sending him a reassuring smile. Even if I didn't love Reece like that anymore, he had saved my life when I was younger and he was my best friend. I had never planned to hurt him. "Oh okay" he replied back shrugging and sending me a smile. "She's so good bro honestly." Ben said as he finally looked up at Reece. Reece nodded, "I'm so proud of her." My heart swelled at the thought. "I'm proud of you to Reece." I said to him. He nodded and walked back to the kitchen to get some snacks. "I'm proud to." Ben whispered placing his hand on my thigh quickly before removing it. I smiled at him, "I'm so proud of you to." I said back quickly. This felt exciting and like it did with Reece all those years ago. I knew people fell out of love but I never expected it to happen to me and Reece. He was my rock. I knew one day I would have to let him go but I was going to stay selfish just for a little bit longer. He was my safe space and my home and I wasn't ready for that to change yet.
