Fake Love (Mafia au)

CHAPTER 13: Comfort with the Devil

Taehyung's POV:

Her eyes shot wide open with tears falling down her reddened cheeks. She looked around the room with terrified eyes, as if confused where she was. She wouldn't stop shaking and her breaths were coming in short and I was afraid she'd pass out if she kept breathing like that.

"NARI!" I screamed her name again.

Yelling her name was useless, as she was still violently trembling and uncontrollably sobbing. I had never felt so much pity and fear for someone. Seeing Nari like this broke my heart into pieces and I I breathed in heavily, feeling tears burn at my eyes at the sight of such a strong, beautiful woman that I already cherished looking so vulnerable and in so much pain.

I would make sure the bastard's responsible for her agony paid for hurting like this.

Without thinking, I grabbed Nari by the shoulders and pulled her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her trembling shoulders and holding her close. I honestly didn't know what I was doing, but I knew better than to second guess myself. I felt her wet tears on my shirt as she cried into my chest, clutching my plain gray tee fabric in her tiny little fists. I let my hands move down to her back to rub soothing circles, letting her head nuzzle by neck. To help to calm her down I stroked her hair with one hand, repeatedly telling her that she was safe and no one could hurt her.

After about five minutes, she had finally stopped crying and shaking. Her breaths even returned back to normal. When she finally realized she was cradled in my arms she quickly released herself and jumped out of the bed.

My heart pained when she left my arms, but I said nothing.

Neither of us dared to say a word to each other.

I was fighting every urge to run to her and hold her again. I saw Nari pressing her hand towards her back as if hurt, and I didn't miss her subtle wince. She realized I was looking at her she walked towards me, her eyes dull and dangerous, "Get out," she said calmly, but the warning was there. It was always there.

I was too shocked to say anything that I didn't even bother to reply.

"GET THE FUCK OUT," She yelled at me, her emotions all releasing at the same time.

How dare she just yelled at me when I was trying to help. I got up from the bed to stand face to face with her.

"No," I told her plainly.

Nari's eyes widened, pooling with god awful rage that looked like it would explode her head open. "I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT, I WANT TO BE ALONE, AND IF THAT MEANS I HAVE TO KILL YOU TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN SO BE IT!" she screamed violently, slamming her fist down onto the bed she was standing beside.

I felt angry at her response, that was where I drew the line. 

"Look," I began, fighting to stay calm. "I understand that you are not in a good place, I really do, but you don't get to tell me what to do. This is my house that I'm providing you with, I can go wherever I please. Also, I'm your damned fiancé for God's sake. I'm supposed to help you with these types of problems, not stand beside and let you suffer," I finished my rant, but then shifted gears to be a bit more sympathetic since I really did want to gain Nari's trust.  

"I admit, I've made many mistakes tonight, I was rude to say the least and I should have been more understanding because I know you had never wanted to be in this situation either. Right now, I'm trying my best not to yell because you're in such a fragile state, and you know what? I understand. I get that you have trauma from your past and I hope to be able to help you with that. I guess what I'm asking is, I'd like to start over. I was such a bastard earlier, and I'm very sorry. I can't ask you to forgive me, because the things I did and said, such as hitting you.......were inexcusable and I'm truly horrified by what I'd done. Nari," I breathed, looking her right in her beautiful, glistening eyes. "I'm so sorry."

She looked taken back from my words. Utterly shocked and dumbfounded, though I couldn't blame her. I'd acted like the bitch of the century and the whole apology speech most definitely caught her off guard since I couldn't have imagined what she must have thought of me before. Sniffling once, she took a deep breath, nodding to herself as if she'd just realized something. "I'm sorry too, Taehyung, you were just trying to help and I yelled at you for it," she said, looking up into my eyes with her beautiful, emotional brown eyes that I already grew to love.

I took one step closer and cupping my hands around her cheeks, I soothed, "Darling, you have nothing to be sorry about."

She blinked those gorgeous eyes of hers and I leaned in to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. I was being risky, but it felt right. 

I thought she was going to lash out, but instead she just stood there. I wiped her tears away with my thumbs and pulled her into another hug, making sure she didn't let go again. I pressed my forehead to hers, closing my eyes.

"Nari, are okay?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Honestly, I don't even know who I am anymore," She replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly concerned.

She sighed and wiggled out of my arms, making me feel cold again."I mean that I don't why I existed and what is my purpose in life right now," she said, looking at the ground. "God I should have killed myself. Why did I decide not to?

I hated the fact that she was suicidal, I hated that she wanted to die and I had no idea why I felt this way towards her. I couldn't understand why I wanted to say something to help make her feel better.

"Taehyung I appreciate your help tonight, but right now I just want to be alone," she mumbled, rubbing her elbow.

There was no way I was going to leave the room risking the fact she could have another nightmare. Or worse......I didn't want any suicidal thoughts making their way into her head while she was impulsive and afraid.

"No, I'm not going to leave this room until your in your bed peacefully sleeping, and this is an order you must follow or I will tell your dad," I said.

Yes, was I being an asshole for mentioning her dad after just having a whole panic attack, and at the moment I was pretty positive that he was the cause of most of it, but that was the only way she was going to let me stay, so I had to do it.

"Why?" she asked, her tone dead.

I swallowed, concerned about her mental state.

"I'm worried about you." I mumbled.

"I don't- but why?"

I pursed my lips, "You're my fiancee. And I'm going to care for you."

She snorted at me and I felt a twinge of something pound in my stomach. "No shit."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Just don't kill me in my sleep," she shrugged, walking back into bed pulling the bed sheet closer to her chest. I grabbed an extra blanket and gently laid it above her. I turned the lights off and moved one of the armchairs closer to her bed.

I chuckled at her. "I won't, darling, don't worry. I'm a good person when I want to be."

"Thank you," she said softly, and my breath hitched.

My heart skipped a beat with butterflies were sent flying in my stomach. I'd known her a day and she'd become a beacon of light in my world, she was someone that I could have feelings of affection for when all my neglecting family was dead. She was red among gray. 

When I noticed that Nari started to doze off, I turned off the lamp and huddled her into my arms, because I was tired but I still wanted to keep an eye on her. If I was able to hold her, she couldn't leave without my knowledge, and hopefully I'd wake up if she moved. She later wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my chest. The butterflies in my stomach were out of control at the gesture, and my heart thumped so fast I thought she could hear it.

I didn't dare to move a single inch because I didn't want to ruined the moment, plus Nari was finally sleeping peacefully. I noticed that she pouted her lips while she was asleep, and half her hair was covering her face. I tucked those loose pieces behind her ear and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

I gave up staying awake and finally let my head up rest on the pillow, closing my eyes.