Halo 3: ODST Operation Cup o' Doom

Chapter One

Aria entered the room where her division congregated. They chatted and laughed as they waited for her orders. She lifted her datapad.

"Fall in!" she called. "Time for roll call."

"Fall in what?!" a sarcastic male voice shouted, earning laughter from the division.

"Oh, you've got jokes this morning, Private Jones? That'll be one hundred push-ups after roll call. Anyone else want to join him?"

Silence.

"Good. Now fall in!"

With chattering and shoving, the division scrambled into place.

"Well, I know we can do way better than that, but we don't have time." She looked at her datapad. "Our new division officer will be here shortly, and our numbers are about to get larger, so let's get this over with. Chief Kalashnikov?"

She glanced up. "Good, I see you're here."

"How could you miss him?" Muhmep snickered.

Yuri looked over his shoulder at the Corporal. "I see someone else has jokes this morning, Sergeant Peril," he replied in a deep, heavily accented voice.

Muhmep smirked. "Well, you are the biggest thing here, Chief. That's not a joke—you literally tower over everyone."

He scoffed and folded his arms over his chest armor. "Corporal Hicks, 'biggest' is an understatement."

"Do elaborate, Chief." She grinned wide.

He glanced down at her. "Get your mind out of the gutter, child!"

"I only followed you into it, and I'm not a child, Chief."

"Quit picking on her," Lilith—his A.I.—interrupted, appearing beside him. "She has a point."

"Oh, you're siding with her now, Lilith? I thought you were my A.I.?"

She crossed her arms. "That doesn't mean I always have to side with you."

"That hurts! You cut me deep!" he joked.

Aria shook her head. "That's enough, you two." She returned to her datapad. "No more jokes. Sergeant Peril?"

"Obviously you're here, Serge," George mocked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm calling for my sister, you idiot. And I said no more jokes." She scanned the group. "Has anyone seen Kayla?"

"I think she was called to sickbay early," Muhmep replied. "I saw her heading that way."

"Nice of her to let me know. Anyway—Sergeant Waters, I know you're—"

"HERE!" he shouted, waving directly in her face.

Aria smacked his hand. "Really, George? When you're standing right in front of me, yelling isn't necessary."

"Yeah? Well when I'm right in front of you, is it necessary to call my name? Clearly you see me, Aria."

Snickering rippled through the group.

"Fair enough," she muttered. "Corporal Hicks—obviously you're—"

"Kakow!!" Muhmep interrupted.

Aria closed her eyes. "Really, Muhmep?"

"Kakow!"

"Is that the Unggoy word for 'here'?" Aria asked.

"No. That's my word."

Aria narrowed her eyes. "You guys want to join Private Jones? It'll be very entertaining watching you all cry at my feet. I'm sure he'd love the company."