Halo 3: ODST Operation Cup o' Doom

Chapter One

Aria entered the room where her division congregated. They all chatted and laughed as they waited for her orders. She held up her clipboard. "Fall in!" She called to them. "Time for roll call."
"Fall in what?!" A sarcastic male voice called out, making the division laugh.
"Oh, you got jokes this morning, Private Jones? That will be one hundred push-ups after roll call. Anyone else got jokes to share and wanna join him?"
The division remained silent.
"Good. Now fall in!!"
In a scramble of chattering and pushing, the division organized.
"Well, I know we can do way better then that, but we don't have time." She looked over her clipboard. "Our new division officer will be here shortly, and our numbers are going to get slightly larger, so lets get this over with. Chief Kalashnikov?" Aria began, looking up at the group. "Okay, I see you are here."
"How could you miss him?" Muhmep snickered.
Yuri looked over his shoulder at the Corporal. "I see someone else has jokes this morning, Sergeant Peril." He said suddenly in a deep and heavily accented voice.
Muhmep looked up at him. "Well, you are the biggest thing here, Chief, and that is not a joke! You literally tower over everyone!"
He scoffed and folded his arms over his chest armor, looking back ahead of him. "Corporal Hicks, 'biggest' is an understatement in this case."
"Do elaborate, Chief." She teased, a cheesy grin plastered to her face.
He looked back down at her. "Get your mind out of the gutter, child!"
She snickered. "I only followed you into it, and I'm not a child, Chief."
"Quit picking on her, Chief." Lilith, his A.I., spoke suddenly, showing herself. "She does have a point."
"Oh, you are siding with her now, Lilith?! I thought you were my A.I.?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked a hip to the side. "That doesn't mean I always have to side with you."
"That hurt! You cut me deep just now!" He jested.
Aria shook her head. "That's enough, you guys." She looked back down at her clipboard. "No more jokes! We need to get this over with. Sergeant Peril?"
"Obviously you are here, Serge." George mocked.
She rolled her eyes. "Obviously I am calling for my sister, you idiot, and I said no more jokes!" She looked out at the division. "Has anyone seen Kayla?"
"I believe she was called into sickbay early." Muhmep replied. "I saw her going that way anyway."
"Nice of her to let me know. Anyway, Sergeant Waters, I know you are...."
"Here!" He shouted, waving his hand in her face.
Aria cocked an eyebrow, smacking his hand. "Really, George? When you are standing right in front of me, yelling is not necessary."
"Yeah? Well, when I am standing right in front of you, is it necessary to call my name? Clearly you see me, Aria."
The division began to snicker.
"Fair enough." She mumbled under her breath. "Corporal Hicks, obviously you are...."
"Kakow!!" She interrupted.
"Really, Muhmep?"
"Kakow!"
Aria sighed with slight annoyance. "Is that the Unggoy word for 'here'?"
"No. That's my word."
She narrowed her eyes. "You guys want to join Private Jones? I'm sure it'll be much more entertaining watching you all cry at my feet, and I'm sure he'd love the company." She teased before moving on. "Corporal Halliday?"
"Here, Sergeant." A shy female voice replied.
A group of Sangheili and Unggoy soon approached the division, a Ranger leading them.
"Sergeant Peril, I presume?" The Ranger began.
She turned to face him. "Yes?"
He bowed his head slightly and handed her some papers. "I am Ranger Odin Mansooree. My troops and I have been ordered to join your ranks. We're not all here yet. There are still some Unggoy on the way."
Kayla snickered. "Man sewer." She mumbled under her breath.
"Oh shit!" George about leaped out of his skin. "When did you get here!?"
She looked over at him, a finger pressed to her lips. "Shhh, don't be saying those words in front of minors."
"What minors?!"
She furrowed her brow as she lowered her arm. "Stuff really does go over your head doesn't it, George?"
"Fuck you, Kayla!" He barked as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"God, George! I was only teasing you. I think you need to make an appointment with me down in Sickbay right away."
"Why?! I'm already up to date on everything."
"Why? So I can remove that stick that somehow got shoved up your ass." She almost sneered. "It will be quite an invasive and long surgery seeing as how it's damn near coming out of your mouth, but I am confident my crew and I can remove it completely."
The division was nearly rolling with laughter. Even the Sanghelil were amused.
George turned red with anger and embarrassment, but couldn't think of a comeback.
Aria looked over at them. "Guys, please!"
Kayla glanced at her before looking back at George. "I was referring to the Grunt Minors by the way."
"Unggoy hear, Unggoy say." Muhmep broke in.
"Silence!" Aria ordered. "I am done with your crap! Drop and give me one hundred push-ups!"
The division groaned as they all dropped and began their push-ups.
Aria sighed. "Nice of you to finally join us, Kayla, and just in time for a beating."
Kayla looked up at her with anger in her eyes. "If I was still an Ensign I wouldn't have to put up with this crap!"
"Yeah, well, you're not anymore. You are at my mercy now, little sister!" She said before looking over the papers. "Nice to meet you, Ranger Mansooree." She replied, holding her hand to him. "I have been expecting you."
He took her hand, shaking it gently. "Likewise. We have been eagerly awaiting this day."
"You all have had your briefing, I presume?"
"Yes." He replied.
"Very good. As soon as these jokesters are finished with their punishment, your troops may fall in appropriately." She said gesturing to the wide-eyed division before releasing his hand. "Did I say stop?!"
They looked back down at the floor and continued.
Yuri looked over at George. "Psst, do it like this." He whispered, using one hand.
George tried, but ended up face planting. He cried out as he busted his nose on the tiled floor. He just laid their, defeated.
"You give up easy." Yuri muttered to him.
"Shut up, Chief!"
"Hey, Chief!"
Yuri looked over at Kayla.
She grinned as she did push-ups with one hand, mimicking him.
Surprised, he slipped and face planted on the floor beside George. "Damn it, Kayla!"
She snickered and continued with her one handed push-ups, switching hands from time to time.
Aria chuckled. "Okay, that's enough. We don't have time for this right now."
They all scrambled to their feet.
"You may join me at the head of the division as my second in command, Ranger Mansooree. We will stow your weapons later."
He nodded and remained beside her as he gestured to the others who joined the ranks.
The Unggoy looked rather uneasy as they took their place among the humans. Muhmep jumped up in excitement, startling the division as she turned and looped her arms around two Unggoy. She grinned from ear to ear. "We are going to be the best of friends." She blurted, grabbing two others. "All of us!"
The Unggoy began chattering and encircled her, hugging her back.
She suddenly began blurting out random things in Unggoy, causing the division to look upon her rather strangely.
Even the Sangheili were surprised.
Aria chuckled and looked up at the Ranger. "Corporal Hicks is the only one here that can speak Unggoy. It was not Top Secret by any means, but it was on a need-to-know basis." She looked back at her. "Until now."
He nodded. "I see."
"This is going to be interesting." She mumbled under her breath. "Corporal Muhmep Hicks! There is a time and a place for that, and it is not now. Please return to your position." Aria ordered. "You are free to chat after roll call."
"Yes, Sergeant." She replied, turning back around as the Unggoy returned to their positions.
"What is this bullshit!?" A Private hollered suddenly in disagreement. "I refuse to work with any member of the Covenant, especially Elites!"
A pair of Minors faced him, snarling.
"Minor Ghotee, Minor Segee, that is not necessary." Ranger Mansooree scolded. "Get back into formation!"
"We left the Covenant, maggot! 'Elite' is the last word you want to say to our face!" Minor Ghotee growled, ignoring him.
"Enough!" Aria shouted, stepping in the middle. "Like it or not, we are a division; A team. If you have a problem with it then take it up with Field Marshall Tuyokee, Private Shaler."
"I will take nothing up to that squid face!" He sneered, turning his back on Aria.
"Do not disrespect our Sergeant, Private!" Yuri scolded.
He scoffed. "She is a fucking Elite in my opinion!"
Aria bared her teeth and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. "You will not disrespect any member of this division! Is that clear, Private!?"
"This division deserves no respect." He dared replied, ignoring her question. "It has suddenly become nothing more then a cluster fuck of idiots!"
Both Minors grabbed their weapons, but a Spec Ops stopped them.
"Get the hell out of my division, Private Shaler!" Aria ordered suddenly.
"I was here first. Make the Covenant leave!" He argued.
Aria cried out in anger and tightened her fist, making a swing at the Private.
He closed his eyes and flinched, waiting for her fist to hit its mark, but it never did.
A rather large hand gripped hers, stoping her swing.
Slightly startled, she looked over at Ranger Mansooree.
"Please forgive me, Sergeant, but that is not necessary. Let Field Marshall Tuyokee deal with his incompetence." He said, releasing her hand.
She sighed and looked back at the Private. "You're right." She suddenly shoved the Private. The division parted as he was knocked to the floor before she moved to tower over him. "I hope you are Court Marshaled for this, young man. Maybe then you will learn some respect. Corporal Hicks, bring him to the Field Marshall's office, and tell him what has been said."
Corporal Hicks nodded and tried to help the Private to his feet, but he pushed her aside. "Don't touch me!" He growled.
"We will take him, Sergeant." Minor Ghotee grinned, winking at his comrade, Minor Segee.
"Yes." He replied. "Yes, we will, Sergeant."
Aria smiled. "And I am sure that is a good idea?" She snickered and looked over at the Private who's eyes were wide with fear. She looked back at the Minors. "Go easy on him." She replied in Sangheili.
Ranger Mansooree grabbed her shoulder gently. "You speak Sangheili?!" He nearly gasped.
She looked at him and nodded. "Indeed. I am fluent in it. I can even wright in Sangheili."
"Very impressive! English was a little bit of a struggle for us to learn, but for a human to know our native language is very surprising." He released her shoulder. "I am quite confident you are an excellent leader, Sergeant Peril."
She smiled. "Thank you, Ranger! I try my hardest to be a good leader." She looked back at the Minors. "Get that troublemaker out of my sight. I can't stand looking at him anymore."
"Yes, Sergeant." They both nodded and took the Private by the arms.
"Sergeant, please." He whined.
"Don't worry, Private Shaler. They really are nice once you get to know them."
"Bullshit! You are no Sergeant if you can't stand up for your people!" He began to fight the Minors and throw all the insults he possibly could at them. He managed to get ahold of one of their needle rifles, and yanked it from its place.
No sooner did he take aim at Minor Ghotee, Yuri grabbed the rifle and yanked it from his hands. He pushed it into Minor Segee's chest as he grabbed the Private by his collar.
Private Shaler cried out and grabbed Yuri's wrist as he yanked him from the ground. "Chief!!"
"Now you listen to me, young man! She is standing up for her people, and that includes them! If you ever insult her, or anyone else in this division again, you will be dealing with me, and you know how hard I can be!"
The division took a step away from him as they remained silent. Everyone knew better then to anger their Chief.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!" Private Shaler cried, grabbing his wrist.
"Maybe the Minors would like to feast on your corps!" He sneered. "I am sure they are quite hungry after their long trip."
They exchanged glances of amusement.
"No! I'm sorry!" He looked over at Aria. "I'm sorry, Sergeant Peril!! Please make him stop!!"
"Why should I?" She folded her arms across her chest. "You don't want to listen to me, then maybe he will scare some respect into you."
Yuri scowled and pulled Private Shaler closer. "Man up, Soldier! From where I'm standing, you are a poor excuse for an ODST!" He lowered him to his feet and the Minors took hold of him. "Get him out of my sight before I lose my fucking tempter!"
His cry of fright was the only reply as the Minors drug him from the room and down the corridor.
"Are you sure that was a good idea?" The Ranger asked.
Aria nodded, a snicker escaping her lips. "Chief Kalashnikov is far more feared in this division then even the Covenant, Ranger Mansooree. Besides, Private Shaler  needs to learn to work with them. I think those three will eventually get along just fine, I hope anyway. Us Humans can be stubborn sometimes."
"So can us Sangheili." He chuckled and turned back to the division as Aria finished roll call.
"All personal to sickbay!" A male voice called over the intercom suddenly.
"Oh, that's my cue!" Kayla announced as she stepped out of formation. She paused momentarily before the Ranger. "Ranger Mansooree, I am Sergeant Peril; her little sister." She stated as she gestured in Aria's direction. "I am the doctor in this division. If you need anything, you can find me in sickbay."
"You're a doctor?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot." She replied, waving a hand. "It's a long story, and I'd be happy to share it with you, but I have to get to sickbay asap. Duty calls!"
The Ranger nodded his head slowly as he tried to wrap his mind around what she had said as she took off.
Aria looked over at him. "We got some time, so I will tell you the story. She lied about her age so she could join the UNSC with me. She joined the academy and made Ensign pretty quickly; she's got our father's brains. Anyway, shortly after that she became a doctor. It was always her dream to be one. She used to force me to be her 'patient' when we were kids. Sometimes it was fun, but sometimes she would bite me just so she could clean the wound and bandage it."
Ranger Mansooree chuckled. "I have an older brother, I know how us younger siblings can be."
She smiled. "A few years ago they found out she had lied, and demoted her. She would have lost her doctor title too if it wasn't for Colonel Mason. He has jumped through many hoops for her and I both." The division listened intently to her story. "Colonel Mason is our godfather."
"Godfather?" The Ranger questioned.
"He basically pledged to help take care of us in the event something happens to our parents. Our mother was a Commander on the Spirit of Fire. During the evacuation of Arcadia, the Admiral decided to follow one of your Arbiter's flagships. They never told us the details, but the Spirit of Fire has been deemed 'lost with all hands'. We don't know the true fate of our mother. We were very young and our father needed help. He was a Fleet Admiral and was always gone. Colonel Mason, being our father's best friend, stepped up. Our father passed away four years ago. We were told it was a 'training accident' that claimed his life, but he was a Fleet Admiral for crying out loud! What kind of training would be that hazardous?! Not even Colonel Mason knows what happened. At least, that is what he tells us. If it wasn't for him though, Kayla would have lost everything. They planned to kick her out on 'other then honorable' conditions. They found out she had lied a year after our father passed away. It was something he kept hush hush once he learned she had joined. Colonel Mason has kept us under his wing ever since. He is pretty much like our father. Tough love runs deep in that generation."
"What about you? What made you join?"
"I was a police officer on Reach. Sergeant Waters and I both were. When the Covenant began invading, we got pulled in by my father. We didn't have a choice. He literally drafted us. Kayla didn't want to be left behind, and so joined with us, without our father's knowledge. George there, Sergeant Waters, is my best friend. We've been inseparable since grade school."
"You're looking at her number one right here!" He gloated. "Though, I don't understand why I am not her second in command. Hmmm, Aria?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.
She chuckled gently and shook her head. "You know why, George. You are lucky to be in the same division as me."
After about twenty minutes of standing in formation the division was starting to get irritated.
"What are we waiting for, Sergeant?" An Unggoy asked timidly.
Aria looked at her watch and sighed. "Our new division officer, supposedly."
"It is so like officers to make you wait forever!" George blurted suddenly.
Aria cocked an eyebrow at him.
"What? You know I'm right." He replied.
"You do know officers have so much more paperwork to do, and that's what makes them late?" A male voice spoke suddenly.
Aria turned to face the owner of the voice. "Colonel Mason, Sir!" She stood at attention and her division followed suit. "I didn't hear you come in, Sir."
"You know I have a habit of sneaking up on people." He chuckled. "They don't call me 'stealth' for nothing, Sergeant. At ease."
The division relaxed.
"Colonel Mason?" Ranger Mansooree lowered his head slightly before raising his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir."
The Colonel took his hand, shaking it slightly. "Likewise, Ranger Mansooree. Nice looking troops you're adding to this division, Ranger."
"Thank you, Sir."
Colonel Mason released his hand and faced Aria. "Your new division officer will be a few hours late. His flight is a little delayed."
"What should I do with the division until then, Sir?" She asked, gesturing to her impatient troops.
"I need to use the restroom!" A female voice cried.
"Dismiss them. You will just have to regroup when he is ready for you." He replied. "I will call you when he arrives." He said, leaving the room.
She nodded. "Yes, Sir." She faced her division. "You heard Colonel Mason! You are dismissed until further notice."
There was a big sigh of relief as the division filed out the door.
"Finally!!" Muhmep gushed. She followed the Unggoy from the room as they all jabbered in excitement.
"Oh, not you, Private Jones. You owe me some push-ups, so get down and begin."
He whined and scuffled over to her. "But I already did them with everyone else, Sergeant Peril!"
"That kind of attitude won't work, Private, and whining is only going to make it worse. Give me one hundred push-ups."
He groaned and dropped down, starting his push-ups.
"Count out loud, please." Aria turned to Ranger Mansooree. "Would you like an escort to show you around the ship?"
He smiled. "No thanks, Sergeant. I am going to get my stuff unpacked and try to make my new room as 'homey' as possible."
She returned his smile and nodded. "Oh, Ranger, as soon as your troops have gotten comfortable, form them up at the armory and we will get their weapons stowed."
"Yes, Sergeant." He replied as he left the room.
"Can I ask you a personal question?" A Minor asked suddenly.
Aria turned to face him. "Feel free to ask me anything."
He fiddled his fingers slightly. "You are an ODST?"
"That's correct." She looked back at Private Jones who continued his push-ups.
"Why do you have so much respect for Sangheili? Surely you killed many in battle?"
She looked up at him and smiled slightly. "Actually, no. I have not killed a single Sangheili."
His eyes seemed to widen. "Really!?"
She nodded. "The Sangheili are very noble and I respect them. Out of all the Covenant races, the Sangheili I adore."
"Did you not face any in battle?"
"No, mostly Jiralhanae. Well, there was only one. He was a Spec-Ops. He engaged me, but we ended up in different directions leaving each other unharmed, for the most part anyway."
"Done, Sergeant!" Private Jones announced as he jumped to his feet.
She faced him and snickered. "Nice try, Private. You went from fifty to done. Get back down and finish."
He sighed and got back down to finish his push-ups.
The Minor chuckled, but then looked at her almost seriously. "You are attracted to my race?"
She blinked, startled. "Well, I-I...." She stuttered, but then smiled. "You are very brusque aren't you?"
He returned her smile. "Sorry, that was a little too personal I suppose."
"I hide nothing from my troops. Yes, I find your race attractive, and I am not ashamed to admit. Go join your fellow Sangheili, Minor. I'm sure you are ready for a bit of relaxation."
"Yes, Sergeant."
He went on his way as Aria turned back to Private Jones. "That's enough. You may go now."