greatest enemy ~ dazai x fyodor

greatest enemy

Fyodor walked into the cafe he knew Dazai would be at. He glanced over at the table he was sitting at. A ginger was sitting opposite him, with a gay look in his eyes. This made fyodor so angry he nearly walked out. However, he kept his calm composure and went to order a drink. He got his favourite as a treat to himself because he washed his hair this month. The barista nearly cried when he heard his order- a quad long shot grande in a venti cup half calf double cupped no sleeve salted caramel mocha latte with 2 pumps of vanilla substitute 2 pumps of white chocolate mocha for mocha and substitute 2 pumps of hazelnut for toffee nut half whole milk and half breve with no whipped cream extra hot extra foam extra caramel drizzle extra salt add a scoop of vanilla bean powder with light ice well stirred. Or maybe it was the stench of his hat. Whatever the case he walked to a table, right next to Dazai and the Ginger. Needless to say, they weren't happy when they saw Fyodor.

The barista came over with his drink and quickly left. You could literally see the stench particles coming from Fyodor.

The next day, Fyodor planted a bomb in the ADA, hoping to kill the people with ablities. However, he knew that the bomb wouldn't go off. Not with Dazai inside. However, he liked the thrill of Dazai just almost killing him, but being able to get away just in time.

This time was different. Dazai wasn't being his cool, calm and sexy self. He looked bored, and unimpressed.

'What's wrong Dazai..................... Does the bomb threat meam NOTHING to you?'

Dazai sighed, and turned off his phone.

'Chuuyas messaging me... He has a REAL bomb threat... Can we get this over with like always?'

Steam was LITERALLY coming out of Fyodor's ears.

That bitch.

What was 'Chuuya' doing stealing his precious time with Dazai.

Fyodor left the building and took his fake bomb with him. He glanced back at Dazai who walked off, not knowing how bad he made Fyodor feel. Maybe he did know....

Fyodor put in his Airpod pros and started playing 'Sunsetz' by Cigarettes After Sex.

He soon reached his crusty one room apartment and started plotting. He knew what he had to do.

The next day, his plan was in action. He ran into the Port Mafia's building. They had no security because it's the Port Mafia and they literally suck at everything they do.

He had to catch his breath as his asthma was kicking in.

He asked around for Chuuyas office, and of course people didn't question this because it's the Port Mafia.

He walked into the office, to find Chuuya sitting at his desk looking at pictures of Dazai, HIS Dazai.

In that split second, Fyodor wondered why he felt like this.

Chuuya started walking towards Fyodor.

He was almost intimidated, until he realised Chuuya wasn't sitting and that he was basically tiny.

'WHO ARE YOU????????????????'

Fyodor's nose wrinkled in disgust as he saw the ginger practically jump around in anger.

He shook his head and wrapped him in a bin bag and started walking out of the building.

People saw the bin bag, but no one questioned anything because it's the Port Mafia.

Fyodor woke Chuuya up, and as Chuuya looked around he realised that he was in a crusty one room apartment.

Fyodor grabbed a knife and brought it to Chuuyas neck. He whipped out his iPhone 13 Pro Max and took a photo to send to Dazai. He wrote a message to go with it..

'Hey come here now, if you wanna save your precious Chuuya'

In less than a minute, Dazai was here, along with the whole agency. That was NOT part of his plan.

However, they didn't do much after they saw the look in Fyodor's alpha eyes.

'Dazai, you let me kill Chuuya and I will let you arrest me, OR even kill me'

Dazai looked confused for a moment, but then his sexy smirk and cool composure came back.

'So what's gonna be Dazai, save Chuuya, or catch your greatest enemy?!'

The confused expression appeared again for a moment.

'You're not my greatest enemy.'

Fyodor's heart sank.

Dazai must be joking. No one worked so well with him. They knew what the other person was gonna do next like no one else. No one made each other work so hard...

'What..'

'Chuuya is my greatest enemy'

What the FUCK.

Fyodor was mad, he was sad, he was absolutely FUMING.

He dropped the knife, which resulted in his own hand being cut. He didn't flinch. He turned around, ready to leave. He glanced back to see Chuuya kissing Dazai.

He wasn't having that.

He grabbed the knife off the floor and stabbed Chuuya in the neck 34 times. Dazai's eyes widened, but he didn't react. Now that everyone he loved was gone, Fyodor HAD to be the next choice.

Feeling at peace with his decision, he decided to glance back again. He saw Dazai wink at Kunikida and that was it. Grabbing the knife again he killed everyone in the agency.

*Apart from Yosano and Ranpo ofc🤭🤭*

Dazai left but before he did, he gave Fyodor a look of anger.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Dazai was supposed to LOVE him now. Why doesn't he? What was he doing WRONG.

In his frustration, he walked up to the roof of the closest building. He played washing machine heart by mitski and was prepared to jump off.

He then felt a strong hand pull him back...

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING??'

Fyodor stared at the floor.

'YOU HATE ME NOW... I messed up... I killed everyone...'

Dazai chuckled...

'Huh?? What's funny???'

'You goofy baka...... I knew this would happen, I planned the coffee shop, and everything. I wanted them dead as well.... I hated them all. I knew exactly what you would do if you saw me with him. I led Chuuya on.. I never loved him, I only love you Fyodor..'

Fyodor blushed as Dazai leaned in for a kiss....

He felt happy and they both left there dangerous careers and opened a bakery together. They talk to ranpo and yosano from time to time, who recently re opened the ADA with just the two of them, but they have better success than before because they slay.