Worshiping Her

chapter five

               Francesca Romero
                                ☽

Do you ever think about your purpose in life?

Like why the hell would god put me here? I'm not going anywhere in life and I just feel stuck. I don't wanna be a part of the mafia. My siblings and I were trained from the age of 11 to know how to kill and to not trust anyone, maybe that's why I only have two friends. My friends that are going to college sooner or later. And that's if Dahlia will ever even talk to me again.

My point is, I don't have anything going for me. I don't even have a hobby besides sitting in my room and doing my makeup for no reason.

And me growing up sheltered from doing anything for myself has not made it better. So, I've decided I need some independence so today I'm asking my dad if I can move out.

Now I know what you are thinking. How the hell is a girl with no job gonna be able to buy a place? Well that's where my dad pays for it for me, I know that doesn't give me much independence but that's all I got.

I take a deep breath and knock on my father's door "Papa?"

"Come in Francesca." He seems to be in a good mood which increases my chances of him agreeing.

I walked in and saw him signing papers. "What's this for?" I sit down in the chair in front of his desk. Step two, pretend to be interested.

"I'm writing my will."

WHAT?

"Why?" I shifted in my chair.

I don't know why but even the thought of my dad dying made my eyes tear up.

"Ay, no estés triste mi Amor" He smiled. (Oh don't be sad my love.)

It's kinda hard not to be a little sad when I've already had to mourn the loss of my mom and my brother.

"Lots of people write a will when they get to my age." He shrugs. "Now what did you need?"

I hope he leaves nothing for Lilura. Kidding...kinda.

"I have to ask you something," I stated nervously.

"Is this about what happened at the club? You're lucky nobody saw your face." He stops writing and looks at me.

Of course, he knows.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. But that brings me to my point, I don't want to be like that anymore. And I feel the only way for me to do that is to move out." I look for some type of reaction on his face. But his smile slowly faded away.

"You're just like your mother you know? She never wanted a part of this. At first, she thought it was exciting she loved the thrill of it. Then one day Mateo was born and during birth, she almost lost her life."

I've never heard this story before. "So what happened?"

"Once she realized there could be a world without him having a parent in it she decided the mafia wasn't for her. She didn't want you kids a part of it, she agreed to let me train you guys for protection but that was it."

She would be so disappointed in me right now. Killing random people because I can't control my emotions.

Trying not to think about it right now I change the subject. "Well mom would want me to do this, she would want me to be able to choose my lifestyle." 3rd step, Gaslight.

"Okay, you can stay in one of my buildings. The one nearby though, considering you don't even have a license yet. But go ahead be in the real world cariño, you are definitely ready." He says sarcastically.