Try Hard // Mashton [5SOS]

4

"You're so out of reach and I'm finding it hard cause he/she makes me feel, makes me feel..."

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I was sweating so much, it almost scared me. This was my first official date. Ever. I think that gave me the right to be nervous and scared and all, right?

I took a deep breath, checking the time to see I was five minutes early, and then spotted the bench we met up yesterday and would meet up again today. Luckily it wasn't taken, so I sat down on it and looked up at the sky.

The sky was a beautiful blue color, despite the grey clouds far away. It wouldn't start raining anytime soon, so we had enough time to get home dry. I hope.

I was chewing my bottom lip nervously, fiddling with my fingers as I waited, not sure from what direction Ashton would come.

After Ashton agreeing to go on a date with me, we hadn't texted or done anything. We did send each other a goodnight later on, but that was it.

It was a few minutes later, when I was getting my doubts. Maybe he didn't like me, but only realised that today? Or after the goodnight. Or maybe even before the goodnight but he didn't want to come off as rude so he had sent back a goodnight. Maybe he just-

"Hi." My breath hitched as I slowly looked up, my eyes meeting a pair of hazel ones. My eyes then moved across his face, taking in every bit of him. His hair was styled messily, his curls flopping around a bit when he moved his head. His bottom lip was in between his teeth, his eyes looking me up and down for a moment before meeting mine again.

"So, eh, you wanna go for lunch now or..." He shuffled with his feet a bit, still biting his lower lip as he had his hands behind his back, making me realise I wasn't the only one who was nervous. That made me a bit less nervous and a bit more confident.

Maybe I should start off with telling him I'm not so confident and flirty, but then he could reject me and just walk away... Let's do it after the date then, I guess.

"We can just go for lunch. We can talk during it, right?" I gave him a smile, getting up in the mean time.

"S-sure." He gave me a small smile, looking at me as if to say I should lead or at least say where we were going to, so we could move.

"I thought it would be nice to eat at this new place a few blocks away? It has really good sandwiches, or so I heard." I looked at him, seeing him shrug and I nodded, biting my lower lip as I started to lead the way.

There was an awkward tension, probably because neither of us knew what to say or do. Were we supposed to hold hands? To just talk? Question each other?

"Oh, before I forget!" Ashton suddenly started, his mood completely changing as he was now extremely happy, the big smile on his face confirming that. "I'm in this band with two guys and one of them managed to get a gig at a bar and I was wondering if you'd like to come?"

I looked at him in surprise. A band? That sounded really cool and like a dream for me. Maybe they still needed a guitarist? I could always ask...

I then thought about his question. Honestly, I would like to see them. I loved music anyway and the boy I liked playing in a band? That was definitely a plus for me.

"Yeah, sounds cool. When is it?" I gave him one of my best smiles, something that wasn't hard because it was Ashton I was walking next to him, our shoulders and hands almost brushing against each other. And also Ashton's happy mood just made you happy. Whether you liked it or not.

"This Friday." He beamed, as my smile dropped. Out of all the days this coming week had, they had to play on freaking Friday.

Ashton noticed my change in mood and frowned, stopping in his track, causing me to stop as well as I started to chew on my bottom lip. This sucks so fucking much.

"A-are you okay?"

"Yeah... I just... I already have to go to my aunt this Friday. I really wanted to go, but I don't think I can get out of this with my aunt." I frowned as I saw the disappointment in Ashton's eyes, but he tried to hide it with a smile. One that didn't even get close to reaching his eyes.

"It's okay. Maybe if we get another gig?" His voice wavered a bit, making my heart drop and my brain scream at me how stupid I was to say I couldn't go. I should've said I would try to get out of it and would try to come, but I didn't. I feel like I killed his pet he loved very much. Or something like that, I think.

"Definitely." I told him, giving him a 'I'm sorry' smile, to which he gave me another big smile that was really fake. It made me want to hug him, but I wasn't like that in his eyes. I was strong and confident and not the person to hug people. And I wasn't liking that I had chosen to act so stupid the first time we met, because I can't seem to get out of it.

"Alright. Well, let's go to that new place, shall we? I'm getting quite hungry." He changed the subject, motioning to where we had been walking before and I simply gave in, nodding.

While we walked to the new place in silence, my thoughts were by how to get out of going to my aunt this Friday, so I could go to Ashton's gig. I was a bit hopeless, but I would do anything to go to that gig. Wow, I'm whipped already, aren't I?

I shook my head slightly, glancing at Ashton, who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. He was too good for me. He was being so nice about this, despite the fact that my reason had sounded a bit like a lie. It was true though, but he didn't even question it and just accepted it.

And then here I was. I felt so guilty when he tried to hide his disappointment, that I was trying to find a way to go to their gig anyway. How is it possible that he makes me feel this way?

He makes me feel... I don't even know the words for it. Somewhere it feels like he's out of reach, because he is too good for me, but he's here. Beside me. He's not far away so I can reach for him, right? This is all just so hard...