IF

7

ShiWen felt as if he had fallen into a lovely dream. 

It was pure, with steaming light and sweet sugary, their holding hands fitting so perfectly together, even a glimpse of ShangYu's face was the tenderness that he could not dare to expect.

The evening haze of the clouds has morphed into the nightsky underfoot, the brilliant galaxy of stars leading the road ahead, his wounded and ripped heart was gently nurtured, and his almost transparent figure has become solid again. 

He was no longer a neglected being, no longer " that person" who was not named, no longer a loathed, left behind, discarded, disparate freak. 

He was ShiWen. He was ShangYu's mate.

He was...ShiWen

The yellowish streetlights spilled through the windows to the back seat, where ShangYu tenderly held ShiWen's hand, they were on their way back home, but the latter still seemed in dazed, as if immersed in his own little world. For several time ShangYu had wanted to wake him, outstretching his arm yet his heart was welled up with fear. At last he just tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand, accompanied him gazing the streetlight flashing by.

They were dropped off at the door of their house, their key twisted gently in the lock hole. The sound of it's metal clashing seemly had draw ShiWen's conscious back to his body. Once ShangYu opened the door, ShiWen pushed him into the house.

"ShiWen!" he cried out in surprise. ShangYu stumbled a few time before stabilizing himself, he turned to face ShiWen. The dusky down light lit up at the foyer, he was met with ShiWen's face, stained with two lines of crystal tears.

His trembeling finger caressed the man's delicate skin, his fingertips were soft as if it was a kitten's meaty pads. ShiWen, a little by little, traced his boyfriend's feature, hesitating, he said, trembling, "Is this all...a dream?"

ShangYu's body stiffened, current like pain stabbed his heart, then spread to his whole body, paining everywhere, as he was covered with needles. ShiWen's trembeling voice had held a knife, penetrating his eardrums and slicing open his every blood vessels. ShangYu pulled his lean body into his arms, soothing him. His dry and aching throat was as if clogged with cotton wool, his heart held with thousands of word and was at verge of burst. ShangYu finally manage "It's not a dream"

"It's not a dream"

 "ShiWen, It's not a dream." 

"I am ShangYu, your mate, and I will always be here for you, always." 

"I love you."

Slowly lifting ShiWen's face, ShangYu brushed his tear stained eyelash, he kissed ShiWen's tender lips.

His spreaded body was delicate and soft, it's owner pale finger clenched to the dark colored bed sheet. ShangYu claimed fiercely and deeply in his lover's body, and ShiWen, through their panting, their intense, heated kissing, managed, "You won't leave me, will you?"

"Never." ShangYu bit on the back of ShiWen's neck, syrupy red wine mixed with bitter cold incense, he kissed ShiWen profoundly in this wondrous and intoxicating fragrance, his voice hoarse and solemn.

"Never will I"