Finding Us (Mew x Gulf)

Chapter 23: More Than Your Fear

With both his hands full Gulf walks over to the little table in the corner of the room that for once is not covered in books, cables and whatever other doodads that were usually left to be forgotten on it. Mild is right behind him with the cutlery and sauces.

They had once again decided to cook up a meal together, especially since Mild was in an especially good mood after finding out he didn't have to go into work and he'd only had a couple classes to attend today as well, so afterwards he could just go back to the dorm and sleep, which he did. Needless to say, he was feeling quite good.

"I swear, I haven't felt this rested in weeks, I love doing nothing." He sighs contently. Gulf smile, his Phi's relaxed behaviour bringing him a sense of joy.

"Enjoy it."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

Mild and he take their seats, wasting no time in digging into their food, though Gulf couldn't quite express as much enthusiasm as the elder as he took much slower bites, he wasn't in as much of a hurry to full his belly.

For the past few days he's found himself occupied and lost in his thoughts, since talking to Mew last week. He's been thinking more and more about what it's going to be like coming out to everyone, and although he has no reason to be, he's honestly quite nervous about it, even if he told Mew he was fine with it, there's still a part of him that's scared to come out, scared of the outcome that he might get.

But he didn't want to be weighed down by his fears and end up being to scared to overcome them, he didn't want to let the issues of his past affect him now. But the more he thought about coming out to the whole group the more the idea started to scare him and he could feel the anxiety creeping up on him. So after thinking about it, he decided he wanted to start small, which involved coming out to Mild first.

After knowing the elder for so long and with him already knowing about his past issues, Gulf felt a sense of security with the elder. Mild had been with him through one of the darkest moments of his life and had saved him from a fate he would probably still be dealing with right now if the elder hadn't taken the initiative to help get him out of the terrible situation he'd been in.

They'd moved here together and after everything Mild had honestly become a brother to him, his Phi that he felt he could always count on, especially through tough times.

So it felt only right that Mild should be the first one he told, the first one to know about his and Mew's relationship.

As Mild takes another bite of food Gulf clears his throat, trying to put on a normal face as he tries to combat the raging storm of anxiety that was swirling around in him.

"Phi." He calls, his voice coming out weaker than he intended.

Mild looks up from his food, finishing up with what was left in his mouth. "Yeah. What's up?"

Gulf picks up his fork, twirling it around in his food. He gulps, his hand under the table squeezing his thigh. "I, I have something that I want to tell you."

"Okay... what is it?" Mild places his fork down, sitting up as he puts his full attention onto the younger.

Gulf breathes in, his throat feeling like it was closing in on itself as his chest tightens. Why was he so anxious? "Well, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I feel like if anyone should be the first to know it should be you." He exhales, his leg bouncing.

He had to give himself more time.

"I want to tell you... that I'm bisexual."

He'd chickened out at the last second. Yes he wanted to come out to him, but that wasn't the main thing he wanted to tell the elder.