After everything went dark

When Buck comes to his senses, the first thing he feels is indescribable pain in his left leg. The first thought in his brain is of the firetruck lying on it, its weight crushing his leg, and the bone, and endless minutes lying on the asphalt, waiting for his team, or anyone really, to come and get him. Seeing Bobby talk, but not really being able to concentrate on it.

The pain drowning out every other thought.

He remembers sparing the only thought he could muster to who that kid was that Bobby was talking to, being told by his team later that he set all of it off with a bomb. Later...

Right, later.

Buck feels his pulse slowing, even though the pain doesn't recede. They told him about it afterwards, which means... that this is not the injury he's sustained from the firetruck explosion, no, indeed, it is a new one. Buck curses mentally.

It still smells like a hospital, but Buck refuses to open his eyes. He doesn't want to think about how he managed to break his leg again. His team and his sister will make him talk about it more than enough once he's woken up. He hears Maddie talking close by and while he knows she's probably worried about him and waiting for him to finally regain consciousness, he's not yet ready to face her, her questions, and her scolding. Instead, he wants to bask a few more seconds in silence, even though basking might not be the right word. Not with the harsh jolts of pain his leg keeps sending to his brain.

He will still enjoy the moments where the physical pain is the only thing plaguing him. He'll have to face her soon enough. The consequences of his actions are a bitch.

For now, it is enough that he knows she's there. It's a lot more than he's had for a long time. His breath hitches and Buck knows that the time of hiding is over now. He opens his eyes blearily, just in time to see Maddie standing up and walking closer to him. He can vaguely make out someone else sitting in a chair next to where she just stood up from, someone who he can only assume is Chimney. It's hard enough to focus on the face of his sister directly in front of him.

It must be the painkillers , Buck thinks, followed by ' if this is how I feel the pain with painkillers, how bad does it have to be without?' and he decides not to think about it too hard. Listening to Maddie already takes everything out of him.

He answers a few of her questions, makes a half-hearted joke about needing stronger painkillers which confirms that it is indeed Chimney sitting there, judging by the laugh that he barks out. Maddie calls for a nurse, and Buck is pretty sure there's something else she says to him but he already feels himself drift back into sleep.

He assumes that was the first time he woke up after the incident because every consecutive time he remembers the ones before.

He hears Hen and Karen stopping by and feels what he is pretty sure was the weight of an infant on his torso but doesn't manage to open his eyes to confirm before he drifts back under.

He manages to open his eyes and wave his hand just as Carla and Chris are getting up to leave. A nurse sets a tray with food and tea down for him that he manages to eat. Compared to the pain it's not so bad, especially once Bobby knocks on the glass of the open door leading inside his room and proceeds to sit down in the chair that Maddie sat in earlier. He gets out his own sandwich and asks him how he's feeling. Buck considers lying, but he takes note of the genuine concern in Bobby's eyes and can't bring himself to do so. So he talks about the pain, and he talks about his teammates and family that he's seen or heard, and Bobby tells him who he's missed. He doesn't talk about what landed him in the hospital in the first place. That's something he'll discuss with his therapist. He appreciates their worry, though.

When Athena steps into the room to join them, Buck is filled with remorse. He tells her that he doesn't think he'll be able to keep awake for much longer and sure enough, she barely has time to tell him that it's okay before he's falling back into slumber.

He doesn't dream badly, not like he did after the fire truck bombing, and while his mind still drifts to that time once in a while when the first thing he feels after waking up is the debilitating pain in his left leg, it's an exception to the rule. He handles it well, he thinks.

He feels pressure around his hand and for a short second, he panics about what could have happened to add an injury to another one of his limbs. Then he realizes that it's just Eddie's hand and he relaxes.

Eddie tells him he needs to sleep more, and Buck manages to choke out an offended huff, pointing out all the visiting people he missed because he was sleeping.

"Not now," Eddie clarifies with an affectionate roll of his eyes. Buck gets that he means: when he's under normal circumstances. He means 'Look how much sleep your body is taking now that you're forced to let him' but he leaves it unspoken. Buck still understands it. He squeezes Eddie's hand in return. Eddie's answering smile is confirmation enough that there's nothing left that needs to be said. It's understood. Buck lets himself be taken by unconsciousness yet again.

The pain in his leg only gets tangentially better, but it's enough that he can stay awake for longer periods of time. He misses less of his friends visiting, spends an afternoon playing memory with Chris; Eddie and Chimney laughing at them from the other corner of the room. Maddie comes back with cups of coffee.

Buck thinks he'll be okay.