12 things i loved about you

3.

After having dinner, I walked back to my room and closed the door shut. I then lay on my bed and drag my blanket over my head hoping to fall asleep. I can't even think straight anymore. I have the chance to be with her in England. I could agree with my dad's decision and probably a week after my graduation, I'll be getting ready to leave for England. I would get closer to her.

But what if she decided she wants to have her university here? Should I call her? She fell for me at first glance, what if she has already moved on and is going out with another guy? Oh no, are they holding hands like the way we used to

I felt more and more hollow in the pit of my stomach the more the thoughts keep running through my head. I'm such an idiot. After letting her slip away, I'm now in my bed getting angry at the thought of her having a new boyfriend.

I removed the blanket from my face and sat up. My curtain was wide open but the windows were closed. I could see the stars in the sky. I sighed then pulled open the drawer and took out the book. I'm going to finish this book before heading to bed, I have made up my mind. I opened it to where I stopped. The third, I'm about to find out another thing she liked, no, loved about me.

The way you smile.

Far in the sky, and amongst the thousand beautiful skies. My love for you was far more than the thousand stars in the sky. Ever since our first glance, every full moon for as long as I remember, I always climbed out to the roof of my house and try to picture your face on the moon staring back at me.

"For as long as I remembered." A cold chill ran down my spine and my body shivered underneath the blanket that was over it. But I wasn't cold, my heartbeat sped up, faster than the way it was before I started reading this page.

Since I started reading this book, I've been trying to stop myself from calling her. The further I go into it, the more I regret my actions. I just hope she doesn't hate me. I don't think I can keep on living if she hates me.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply before turning back to the book.

With you, I didn't need anything else, I had everything I needed. But then you suddenly disappeared. Two weeks pass and I didn't see you. Your table was empty, I don't see you in your locker anymore. What happened to you?

I felt lost and empty. I was miserable. I called it "The lost days of Kay Kay." At first, I thought, it's just one day, he'll be here tomorrow, but you weren't, not the next day either, or the day after that. I got worried. Too worried for someone who hasn't even spoken to you yet.

I found a way to start talking to Susan Hall, who by the way is a very nice person, and we became close friends. I asked her about you, and why you haven't been in school for days. She didn't know either, so she brought the idea to ask Blake Wright, one of your friends about it.

Yes, Blake told me about it. He came over one night, teasing me about the two beautiful ladies that asked about me at school.

Susan told me later on that she knew at that instant when I asked about you, that I had a thing for you. But she said nothing.

He kept telling me to ask both Susan and Karen out so that I will then choose the crazy one between them, because "I'd be able to do wild stuff with the crazy one among you" what an idiot.

Blake revealed that your sister wasn't well and that you had to stay to take care of her because your parents were out of town.

Abigail came down with a fever after mom and dad left for a business trip. I had to stay with her until she was feeling better.

I didn't know Blake was an idiot and that he was going to blab about it to you, even though I was glad he did. I kept wishing for your sister to get better so that I could see you again. I missed you. I missed the way you looked, I missed staring at you instead of the teacher.

I got more and more worried. I kept writing down random notes on a piece of paper and sticking them on the wall of my room. The note was all I had to at least cover up the space in my heart before I could see you again, which I finally did.

Thanks to Blake and his convincing words, I felt obligated to talk to both Karen and Susan and at least thank them both for caring.

You suddenly sat next to me during one music class, which was an elective class that I picked over fine art. And coincidentally, you had also chosen the class and we were both sitting next to each other.

I was, I don't even know what word to use, I was completely out of my mind, from the moment you sat next to me, I wasn't myself anymore, I wasn't in control of the words that came out of my mouth or the actions I performed.

I picked up a guitar and sat on a chair at the far end of the theater, the teacher wasn't present and Susan didn't select the class. I just sat, all alone, and watch the other students talk among themselves.

You suddenly walked in, which made me involuntarily smile when I saw you. You looked around and just like that, you were walking up to me. At first, I thought maybe you were just going to stop at the girl some space in front of me, but you didn't, you kept walking and didn't stop till you were in front of me. You dragged a chair and sat on it.

When Blake was describing Karen to me, I was confused. I didn't know who he was talking about, I had completely forgotten that we had a new student with us. Until he pointed her out through the window of the theatre. I am sure that I mumbled some words under my breath that I can't recall. And perhaps Blake heard, maybe I should ask him.

I didn't know what was going on. You were sitting next to me. I was screaming in my head. You smelt like lavender. I still can't tell if it was your perfume or the shampoo you used. And then it happened, you smiled. And I didn't know when I started smiling too. Your smile was beautiful, it drove me crazy. When you smile I could see your entire teeth, a gummy smile. You had the kind of smile that showed your gum. And if I'm being completely honest with you, it still drives me crazy. 

I took my phone from the nightstand and tapped on the camera. I then lift my lips to smile, it's, it's just not it. I'm sorry Karen. I turn it off and returned it to the nightstand.

And I don't care what others think about your smile. To me, it is gorgeous, I would kill to always look at your smile-- okay maybe not kill.

I chuckled bitterly.

Cole, you weren't the rude and arrogant boy in my story, you were nice and fun to be around. Once a person feels something for you, it was impossible to unfeel it. Or maybe it was just me. Maybe I was the obsessed one in our little romance story, and Agathe was the one you liked and you just wanted to be friends with me and I got the wrong idea. Well, that's another story for a different part.

The feeling returned. The feeling felt like I was being pinched in my heart. I never liked Agathe, I never did. I swear.

Suddenly, I felt a drop of a tear rolling down my cheek. I was crying. I take a tissue from the box on my nightstand and wiped the tears. I then turned back to the book and continued reading.

I turned to the next page and continued reading.

End of chapter.