Little Lies // (Discountinued)

Chapter 5

You drove silently, trying to pretend that he wasn't beside you maybe if you ignored him, he'd go away. maybe if you ignored it - the looming presence of those words that should've remained unsaid - they would go away too.

but that isn't how reality works, not in the slightest. things don't disappear because you want them to. they stay, and haunt you, like the angry ghosts of an abandoned building. just echoes of what was, but still there.

"pull over." his voice was firm, but you could see his hesitance in the way he moved. a trembling finger there, a dusting of the pants that weren't really dirty. without a word, you calmly swerved toward the edge of the road and parked there.

"i don't care what lies you've concocted. i want to hear the truth, and i want hear it from you." you couldn't even bear to look at him, but you forced yourself to. he wasn't angry, despite the harshness of his words. his eyes were soft. "why did tom say that to me? was he lying?"

you never thought you'd be having this conversation with him, yet here you were, a day before he left for hawkins. was there a worse time to be confessing?

"goddamnit, billy, are you blind?"

you felt small, and your tone reflected it. you couldn't help but shrink beneath his gaze, like a little child admitting that she broke the vase in the living room. despite the anxiety that was now flooding your system like a disease, you felt a strange weight lifted off your shoulders. years of lying and faking were now, finally, finished.

the atmosphere in the car was so thick and suffocating that waving your hand in front of you would cut it. all you could hear were his labored breaths - because of the news, or because of something else?

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

you sighed, and shifted your body toward the oblivious boy; oblivious, or just in denial.

"i'm in love with you. there, i said it."

you never knew that saying something you'd been so frightened to even think about could make you feel so unequivocally good. even though the look on his face scared you, and even though your heart was still pumping faster than you thought possible, you were relieved.

there were two possible outcomes. he could say nothing, and you could drive him home. you could ignore what happened tonight. you could give him a hug goodbye tomorrow, and then let him leave knowing there was this unspeakable gap between you, further than 1,800 miles.

or, he could kiss you. he could take the leap and just press his lips onto yours. you could kiss back, and you could jump onto his lap, knowing deep down that he loved you, he loved you too, and that no amount of distance could change that.

billy was a smart boy. he would never just say nothing.

•••

on your way to hawkins, you had imagined billy driving you to your first day of school. max in the backseat, smiling widely as her brother and best senior friend talked like nothing had changed. hell, maybe even you'd kiss him good morning.

nothing ever works out like you want it to, especially if you want it as much as you did. now, instead of billy driving smugly up to your house, and waving to your mom, steve was there.

he honked once to let you know he was here, and you kissed your mom's cheek as you nervously scurried outside. with a smile, steve opened the passenger's seat door for you and you slipped in.

"morning, y/n," max greeted, grinning. she was stuffed in the back with lucas and dustin, who were both waving just as enthusiastically. steve glanced at the kids from the rearview mirror.

"all buckled up?" he asked, shamelessly impersonating a classic father. they nodded, with a roll of the eyes. almost everything was the same - your dream was almost a reality. but there was no billy. somehow, you were okay with that.

"let's go, dad. mommy has shit to do," you joked, eyeing steve with a half smile. his eyes sparkled in the morning sun.

"happy wife, happy life," he muttered, eliciting laughter from both you and the three in the back. dustin was beaming, and you were suddenly 100% sure it had been him coaching steve when he asked you out.

•••

"alright, guys. we have a new student with us today."

you waved awkwardly at the class, who had been ignoring you one second, and was now suddenly handing all their attention to you.

"would you like to introduce yourself?" the teacher asked, giving you a tight lipped smile. you almost rolled your eyes, but then you remembered you were in class.

"um..." you cleared your throat, and clutched your books a bit closer to you. "i'm y/n, and i'm from california."

"show us your bikini!" the entire class burst into laughter, while you scanned the students for the culprit. if california had been bad in the harassment department, you couldn't even think about how bad it'd be in hawkins - these kids were so deprived of anyone new that they were bound to go after whoever was fresh.

"that's enough. y/n, there's a seat in the back, next to tommy. please, sit there."

it seemed all the attention the teacher had been paying to you was suddenly removed as soon as you were seated. the class, however, was still hung up on you, especially the boy sitting beside you - tommy. as the lesson continued, you felt someone poke your arm.

"hey, beautiful. what's up?" he asked. you could smell his cigarette breath, even though he wasn't too close to you. the nicotine smell only worked for one person, but you didn't really want to think about that person right now.

"leave her alone, tommy. that's billy's girl," the girl in front of you hissed, sending you a smile over her shoulder. tommy sneered and rolled his eyes, immediately facing the front of the class again. you could've sworn your face went white, and you tapped the girl's back.

"wait, who told you that?" you asked. she noticed how scared you looked, and she shifted her body around to face yours.

"billy announced it to everyone at last night's party. are you alright? do you want me to take you to the nurse?"

your vision spun - not from any sort of ailment, but from anger. pure, unadulterated anger, so strong that you felt your fingers began to shake. it seemed that every time anything remotely good started to happen to you, billy had to come around and fuck it up. regardless of whether he was physically there or not, his reach went further than just at home.

"no, no. i'm okay. i didn't sleep much last night," you lied, forcing a small smile. the girl gave you an odd look, and then shook her head, as if dismissing some thoughts.

"oh, well, i'm ruby, by the way. and i can totally lie to the teacher and take you to the bathroom for a quick nap, if you want," she joked, grinning. you laughed quietly at her offer, though there was no way it could be genuine.

despite your vow to not speak to billy, it seemed he always found a way to make you. there was no way you were going to let him lie about you like that.