1000 Short Stories

Story 4: Drunk In Love

Drunk In Love
(Inspired by Beyoncé)

I think it's absolutely laughable when I listen to my friends push their hair back while uttering sentences like, "sex is so underrated", with so much confidence. It's laughable. Very...laughable.

Hi, I'm Rekiya and I'm a virgin in the sex bit but I'm an expert in the soul part of this powerful thing called sex and sensuality.

I'm of the strong opinion that sex is everything. Sex sells more than cocaine if I'm gonna be completely honest. You! Yeah you! You wouldn't be reading this words of it weren't for sex! Take a strong moment to think about that and commence reading when you've allowed it sink into your soul.

In a country like mine: Nigeria, we've idolized, victimized and vandalized sex like we knew what the word was before some white man came to give it a name. For all I know, most people knew it as "kerewa" for a very long time; so I don't usually understand how we really think that we can control or contain something we didn't know of (except in our bodies anyway), until someone or some app or some blog made it make sense consciously or subconsciously. I for one got most of my sex education and information from heat-says, but like the curious little cat (no pun intended) that I am, I went searching for deeper meaning without even knowing that I was looking.

I wish people knew how powerful they are especially when it came to their mind, body and soul and inner workings of sex and all that has to do with it—okay maybe I don't really wish that to be honest, I mean—the world might just fall into ruin if some little boy reading this right now discovered that he had the power to simply watch a Beyoncé video and swap all of her energy, master it in front of the mirror for a reasonable period of time and before he knows it, he's dancing and giving the same energy and effect Beyoncé gives to her fans to whosoever watches him and before you know it, men and women in general are subconsciously hypnotized into sexually fantasizing about him. Yes, the boy.

Picture me rolling my eyes right now as I literally just had to do that because another girl said something like, "girls are really in control when it comes to sex" another laughable utterance. Someone probably put that out there in the universe, probably in a book or a tweet and before you know it, it's the order of the day, another half-truth that goes on to engulf the entire world into a pathetic state of ignorance. Well sis! Get off that high horse! Let me burst your bubble! Everything—read it and read it well, EVERYTHING! Can be as sexually powerful and potent as you imagine girls to be, they just have to want to harness that power enough and it's doomsday in the world lol. I think Beyoncé and a couple of other female artists—and even male artists like wizkid, have mastered the act of subtle seduction. It's just like workouts, you really have to focus on it and just like magic, you have all the effect you want to have with just a blink of your eyes...LITERALLY! I mean, did y'all really think Beyoncé just grew up being the ambassador of power and sexy that she is now? Don't you think she pooped herself, got beaten by Mama Tina, get heartbroken as a little girl? (I'm sure most of y'all think she was naturally destined for Jay-Z) lol. Well, she is human and the reason why you quiver when you hear the name Beyoncé is because she has harnessed that power.

"You, you've just been quiet since, what is going through your brain?" A friend of mine with a little too much red lipstick smacked me playfully out of my reverie. I smile and told her that I was waiting on the food we ordered, I also added a casual compliment on her lipstick and she threw me a playful kiss. If I keep on complimenting on her lipstick, she'll begin to envision herself being attractive to me and before you know it, she's spending day and night losing focus on the importance of her lifetime because of a damned compliment—and yeah, before you know it, she's wondering if she's a lesbian. Ask google if you think I'm lying. Something as mere as a compliment can alter destines. Ask your parents.

While we dived into more conversations that were filled with nothingness's, we suddenly saw a car pull over. It was an external restaurant around Lekki axis so yeah, we could see things clearly.

"Isn't that your boyfriend's car?" Shalewa turned to Bisi who was already getting up from her seat with a look of confusion on her face. A couple minutes ago, she'd just video called him and he swore to buy her a new Birkin bag from Ghana (where he was supposed to be visiting his mother who was supposed to have cancer).

"I think I'm dreaming," I heard her whisper in an hilarious silence that made me want to burst into hysterical tears and laughter. "Didn't he just..." she faltered when their eyes suddenly connected and he froze.

"Wahala!" Itunu slammed her hands together and began to rise to her feet.

"Abeg," I rose up and grabbed my bag; they all turned to look at me like I was crazy because honestly, I really started laughing uncontrollably. "I don't have time for this drama—see Itunu standing as if she's not also sleeping with your boyfriend." I deadpanned, took a swing of the red wine in front of me as the girls looked at me in silence. "Ask her if I'm lying. Oh, Bisi, don't act like you're all innocent—I suggest that you think before you ruin what you have with him, these girls all know about your sugar daddy in Boston, they'll not hesitate to wreck your life to have that man you're about to fight with," I sneered, "sex is overrated", I mimicked them before dropping the glass on the table theatrically and walking out on them dramatically.