What If He Didn't Die?

Chapter 42: More To Find

I don't realise she's done talking until her warm fingers touch my cold ones, making me loosen my fist. Blood rushes to my fingertips the moment it finds its way.

"Are you okay?" She whispers calmly not wanting an answer. I still nod to acknowledge her. She smiles and I try to reciprocate.

We sit there silently looking anywhere but at each other. Faint paleness starts to replace the darkness in my room as I see rays of dawn reeking in from between the curtains.

"I-" Bella starts, grabbing my attention. "I think I should leave now. You need to sleep and I need to sleep too." She gets up on her feet and starts fumbling on her legs.

But she doesn't leave and instead keeps staring at me. I realise soon that she's actually waiting for my acknowledgement. I nod hastily letting my guilt of replying late show in my actions.

She walks away after answering all my questions. But something doesn't feel right. Some questions don't feel answered. Some answers don't feel complete.

"Bella," I say and look up in the hope of still finding her there. She stops near the door.

"Is it true?" I ask exhaling a shudder. Her forehead frowns up at my meaningless question.

Wetting my lips with my tongue nervously, I frame the rest of the part of the question in my mind. "About the drugs?"

She sighs in defeat before turning completely around to face me. I see visible fatigue on her face. She looks evidently exhausted and given up. But my pleading eyes motivate her to speak again.

"Easter, even I didn't believe it when Jack said so. I couldn't ever." She says genuinely.

"But-" She walks up closer to me and my breath hitches at her every step. "But then cops searched the motel. Our stuff, our cars. They didn't find any drugs but they did find a phone. Hidden under Dan's bed and it had only contacted one number."

I purse my lips at her abnormal pause.

"It belonged to some Justin, the town's local drug dealer." She leaves the room as soon as her last word leaves her lips. I think it was the best she could do. At least that announced the end of it.

I shudder deeply as I try to take in a deep breath and fail.

The never-ending night finally ends. Like everything else does, sooner or later. But unlike other nights that pass, this is going to leave a never-dying imprint on me. I can only hope its effect will fade with time. But right now, it's raw and hurting.

It makes me wonder if I really did need to know at all?

Could it have been better had I never known what happened that night?

Although I wasn't there, the visions of each and every minute Bella described to me is clear as crystal in my eyes. I can still see the gorgeous face of Daniel shining on everyone in the crescent moonlight.

Him guiding everyone in the tour. Him sitting and laughing with everyone. Him playing that twisted game of truth and dare. Him stupidly agreeing to the race. Him driving uncontrollably up the hill. Him panicking as he fails to stop the car at the cliff. And him remembering with regret that he was supposed to meet his grandparents the next day.

The only thing that I cannot imagine is him taking drugs. I cannot form even a blurred picture of him doing anything of self-harm. He hated alcohol, how could he resort to drugs?

Although it seems an unanswerable question, it doesn't seem impossible anymore. Because I can clearly see the cops finding that phone hidden under his bed.