Signed /Dream Team/

46

The only thing I remember of this weekend is getting drunk and crying. Both are special events, but it feels like I blinked and now I have work again.

And guess who I saw on my way to work? George.

I tried my best to make it seem like I haven't noticed anything and just walk past him, but my awkwardness says otherwise. I glance at him repeatedly and my legs forget how to follow each other rhythmically. It probably looks like I'm malfunctioning.

And now he's approaching me. Great.

"Heeey!" He grins widely and spreads his arms for a hug.

Is it gonna be too weird if I don't hug him? Okay, I'll just stand still I guess, he can hug me.

He wraps his arms around me. I hold my breath and don't return the gesture.

And ew, my heart did that thing again- how do I make it listen to the brain? Is there even a brain? Hello?

"Did you have fun?" I break the hug with a fake smile, starting to see the confusion in his eyes.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun-"

"Great!" I hope he can't see that behind this smile my teeth are grinding so hard against each other that there's a risk of needing dentures, "I'm gonna go now, I'm running late."

George narrows his eyes and tilts his head. Then he checks the watch on his wrist. How am I supposed to run late when I'm 30 minutes early and the bar is down the street?

"No you're not." He looks me in the eyes and my fingers start to tingle again. I actually hate myself for feeling like this.

"Yes I am," I press my lips together, ignoring the chaos in my head, "see you in eight hours- or not.. go sleep."

Just like that, I walk away.

The fact that I mentally prepared myself for this moment, but this is the opposite of what I planned to do is driving me insane. I wanted to be so strong that I could act as if nothing happened. But I ended up being weird, awkward, and petty. I wish I could be like the person I am in the imaginary conversations I have in my head. But now I have to shake drinks and judge myself until my shift is over.

I was bored out of my mind and didn't even check the time once during god knows how long. All I know is at one point I went so long without blinking that I thought I hallucinated when I saw George walking into the bar. Yet the closer he got, the more real he seemed.

I try to grab my phone to seem uninterested before he comes near, but end up indistinctly patting every surface where I would normally put my phone. Plus my back pocket - I patted my ass. The phone is nowhere.

"Looking for this?"

I can't believe I left the house without my phone and didn't even notice it wasn't on me until now.

"Didn't even notice it was gone," I tell George the half-truth, longing my hand to grab my phone, "thank you though."

"Every time I'd send you a text I'd hear a notification sound from the kitchen," he chuckles, "you have a lot of unopened texts by the way."

I look at my screen and see 13 notifications, all from George. And all 13 of them are him spamming my name and waiting for a response like an idiot.

I roll my eyes, putting my phone to the side and George lets go of a small chuckle, leaning his chin on his hand and watching me get back to my work. At least he's not asking for a drink.

When I'm finally done pouring the three shots some guy ordered, I start wondering why he's still here. And right as I do, he speaks, "So how was your weekend?"

Why do I feel like he's being sarcastic even though most definitely he's not? It's because I know for a fact that he knows why I'm so dry to him but acts like nothing's happened and refuses to even address the irregularity in my behavior.

"Probably not as exciting as yours," I answer, making myself sound as casual as I can while hinting towards the elephant in the room.

And again, the way he's avoiding the topic is very irritating. He could've at least commented on what I just said, but he just nods.

It's almost like he knows that I can't speak about it even if I try my best without sounding crazy and obsessive over someone I'm not dating.

"So why aren't you going home?" I speak again after a few minutes, starting to feel uncomfortable that George is just sitting there watching me.

And I'm totally forgetting the simplest of tasks just because I know I'm being watched by him; I just dropped the metal tongs into the shaking cup along with the ice.

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

Trying to stay focused on the cocktail I'm making, I take in a shaky breath. Part of me says finally, certainty, while the other part is shaking in its boots.

I finally look at him and see uneasiness on his face. I doubt two a.m. in a bar while I'm at work is a great time, location, and occasion to have a serious conversation, but at this point, I don't even care.

"Yeah?" I'm back with my fake smile again.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry that you heard-"

I start shaking the drink and it makes an obnoxious noise, catching him off guard. I'm not gonna just stand here and tolerate him apologizing for getting caught. I didn't even need an apology, all I need is for him to tell me something about this relationship we have. Was he just flirting with me and kissing me just because he could, or does he actually like me?

As the noise stops, I look at his still parted mouth, "Are you done?" I smile.

"Well, you didn't let me finish.."

"Finish what?" I cut him off again.

"Apologizing." He looks lost.

"Do you think you owe me an apology?"

The fact that he actually starts thinking and doesn't answer for a while-

"I mean if what I did caused any inconvenience.."

"The only thing causing inconvenience right now is the fact that you think I need an apology but have no clue what you're apologizing for," I didn't want to snap at him, but it just came out, "and honestly, I can't even see why you'd think that I need an apology in the first place. What ar-"

I bite my tongue right as I feel the urge to say "what are we?". I've made that mistake way too many times in my life and got completely destroyed and I think it's about time I shut up.

George sighs and shifts in his seat. He checks the time again, checks his surroundings, and speaks, "Can you leave early today? Maybe we can go on a walk?"