Macdonald Hall #6: Lights, Camera, Disaster!

Getting into Character

Mark Davies manipulated the zoom on his video camera and focused in on the Academy Blues crew.

"I screened last night's footage. I've got the most amazing angle of The Fish bashing up Miss Scrimmage's shotgun. Wait till you see his face!"

Pete looked thoughtful. "Maybe you could blackmail him. "

Boots laughed mirthlessly. "That's probably the only reason why we're not all expelled. I can't believe he didn't punish us."

Bruno nodded. "I've got a theory about that. I bet Cutesy went to him and took the heat for us. When you think about it, all we did was violate curfew. Most of the blame goes to Cutesy, Miss Scrimmage, and the girls. And even Cutesy was sort of a victim."

"I was the victim," said Boots accusingly. "None of you guys got kidnapped, beaten up, drowned, and marched at gunpoint."

"And you missed a great snack," added Wilbur. "These movie people really know how to eat.

"Hey, what are you doing here, Bruno?" asked Larry. "I thought you had to stay away from the east lawn."

Bruno shrugged. "I was sent for. They want me in this next scene, so The Fish said I could come." He looked pleased. "I told you I'd get into the movie."

Seth Dinkman was pushing through the crowd towards them, with Jordie Jones at his side.

"Okay, Walton, congratulations. You're in this scene." The director gave Bruno a dirty look. "You can thank your friend Jordie for that. If it was up to me, I wouldn't have you on my set unless I was filming Jaws V and I needed someone to play shark bait."

The cameras were focused on a remote corner of the campus, where a deep muddy trench had been dug. Two actors, dressed in plumbers' overalls and hip boots, were in the hole, working on a section of sewer pipe.

Bruno was flushed with excitement. "You're the greatest, Cutesy!" Jordie flashed him the thumbs-up sign.

"Okay," said Dinkman, "you extras stand here with Jordie, watch the plumbers, and look amazed. No words, no gestures. You're watching something that you don't see every day." He backed out of the scene and called "Action!"

"Cut!" yelled Bruno.

Dinkman was confused. "Who said that? Who yelled 'Cut? Only I yell 'Cut.'"

Bruno raised his hand. "Uh — Mr. Dinkman, sir — Cutesy here isn't following instructions. We're supposed to look confused, and he's grinning."

"Don't worry about Jordie," said Dinkman. "He's got different instructions. You just worry about yourself. And don't yell 'Cut' on my set, got it?"

"Well, why is he smiling?" Bruno persisted. "Why isn't he confused, too?"

"Because he just isn't, okay? All right — action!"

"Cu — I mean, stop — hold it, " called Bruno.

"Bruno — " whispered Jordie warningly.

Dinkman was turning purple. "What is it now?"

"Well, it's just that I have to know why we're confused and he's not, otherwise I can't get into my character."

"You don't have to get into your character!" roared the director. "The scene lasts seven seconds!"

"Look," said Jordie, "here's how it goes. This is a ruptured sewer pipe, and we're watching these guys fix it."

Bruno was insulted. "And my character is too stupid to know that a ruptured sewer pipe is funny?"

"No, no, no," said Jordie. "Listen, Academy Blues is about a guy who goes to boarding school and really hates it. That's me. I've been stuffing things down the toilet for three weeks now, trying to bust up the plumbing. "