Macdonald Hall #6: Lights, Camera, Disaster!

The Stuntman

The first wave of Jordie Jones interviews hit the papers, radio, and television on Sunday night, and by Monday morning, the actor's trailer looked like a florist's shop. Movie security had been up all night chasing off Miss Scrimmage's girls, who streamed across the road, singly and in packs, with get-well flowers for their hero. These were mostly tulips, daffodils, crocuses, and snowdrops filched from the school's spring flower beds. There were also potted African violets from indoor windowsills, ferns and parlor palms from Miss Scrimmage's sitting room, and the entire prize cactus garden from the Headmistress' conservatory. Those who could not come up with any flowers made artificial ones out of pipe cleaners and Kleenex. This entitled them to sign the giant Get Well, Jordie card, which also arrived during the night, and bore over three hundred signatures.

The news reached Mr. Sturgeon when Miss Scrimmage stormed his doorstep at six-thirty a.m.

"This is all your fault!" she shrilled. "Now you'll see why I need my shotgun to protect my poor innocent girls! My school was robbed last night!"

The Headmaster was shocked. "What was taken?" he asked, tying his bathrobe and stepping out onto the porch. "Money? Jewelry?"

"Flowers!" she cried. "The outdoor beds are picked clean! It looks like the great hurricane of thirty-one! And all my plants! Even my famous award-winning cactus garden!"

Mr. Sturgeon turned to his wife, who had appeared in the doorway. "Mildred, tie down the geranium. There are plant bandits about."

Miss Scrimmage was outraged. "You mock me, sir! But do you deny that my girls were in danger?"

"I do indeed." The Headmaster yawned. He pointed towards the east lawn. Even at a distance it was obvious that Jordie Jones' trailer was festooned with flowers and greenery.

"Humph!" snorted Miss Scrimmage. "How disgraceful! A wealthy young man like that should be buying his own flowers!" And she stormed off, muttering something about filing more lawsuits.

The next reaction to the floral tribute came from Goose Golden. At quarter past seven, he wandered out of his trailer without his glasses. Since Miss Scrimmage's prize-winning cacti and some of the larger ferns were as high as seven feet tall, he saw only a blur of green where Jordie's trailer was supposed to be. In a panic, he decided that the camper and his client had been towed away during the night. Howling, he ran forward, tearing his white pajamas and scratching his hands and face on the cactus needles, which also lifted the toupee clean off his head. In his distress, he surged forward, running headfirst into the trailer door.

It was the first time anyone had seen Seth Dinkman laugh since Jordie Jones' hockey debut.

***

All the commotion went unnoticed in Dormitory 3, where Bruno and Boots were laying out gear for their wilderness survival trip. They had the day off classes to make sure they had exactly the right equipment and supplies, and to get plenty of rest for tomorrow's five a.m. departure.

"Let's see," said Boots, checking the things spread out on his bed. "Sleeping bag, underwear, socks, boots, flannel shirts, jacket, three pairs of jeans, long Johns, and raincoat." He put a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a comb into a plastic bag and tossed it onto the pile. "I think that's everything."

Bruno was sitting on the edge of his bed, arms folded, sulking. In his open duffel was exactly one item — bug spray.

"Bruno, there aren't going to be any bugs this early in the year."

Bruno didn't look up. "There are always bugs. Who else would be stupid enough to go on this trip? Us and bugs."

Boots took out his own bag and began jamming his clothes inside. "Hurry up. Mr. Fudge'll be by any second to check our stuff."