Macdonald Hall #7: The Joke's on us

Marylou Beakman Hates Me

PHANTOM JOKE SPREE PARALYZES SCHOOL blazoned the banner headline of the

Macdonald Hall Student Times.

Widespread interest had prompted Mark to put out a special edition of the school paper devoted almost completely to the notorious Phantom. In fact, the only article not related to the practical jokes was REXTO BE PUT ON LOW CALORIE DIET UNTIL VICIOUS AGAIN, Miss Scrimmage Says, at the bottom of page four.

Mark was distributing papers in the dining hall at dinner, and they were going like hotcakes.

Students jabbered excitedly about the gags they themselves had witnessed, and read with amazement of the others. Reaction ranged from anger to laughter to outright admiration for the master practical joker.

"I don't know whether to kill the guy or shake his hand," said Larry, engrossed in the paper. "Check this out: On Wednesday, the Phantom reprogrammed the class-change bell to knock six minutes off each hour. At the end of eighth period, students and teachers were bewildered to find an entire period still to go, even though they had completed their full schedules."

Sidney snapped his fingers. "I remember that. It was nuts. Everybody was packed into the hall, pushing and shoving and trying to figure out what we'd missed, and then somebody set off a smoke bomb!"

"Somebody my foot," snarled Bruno. "It was the Phantom."

"I thought you'd like the Phantom," Sidney told Bruno. "I mean, he's exactly your style, and his stunts are brilliant. Half the guys think it's you and Boots."

"Well, it's not!" snapped Bruno testily.

"Listen to this one," put in Boots, skimming his own Student Times. "It says this guy dissected a frog for biology. Overnight, the Phantom took away the frog-halves and replaced them with two new live frogs. And this poor kid did a whole science project on how frogs are like worms; when you cut them in half, the two parts go on living on their own."

Wilbur scowled over a stack of chicken cutlets. "Well, you can't blame the Phantom for a guy being stupid," he said in disgust. "I mean, what kind of an idiot thinks that frogs are like worms? Sheesh!"

"Wait a minute." Pete Anderson looked up from his plate. "That was me!" He peered at the paper over Boots's shoulder. "I knew that sounded familiar. Cool!" he declared. "I made the paper."

Wilbur rolled his eyes.

Bruno looked thoughtful. "Maybe we've been thinking about this whole thing the wrong way," he began slowly. "Maybe we should ask ourselves who stands to benefit the most from the Phantom?"

"Benefit?" mumbled Wilbur, his mouth full. "Who benefits from practical jokes?"

Bruno looked to the front of the dining hall where Mark was handing out papers. "Whose

stupid newspaper that nobody cares about, let alone reads, is suddenly hot stuff now that he's got the Phantom to write about?"

Boots was the first to catch on. "You think Mark is the Phantom? And he's doing it to create good stories for the Student Times?"

Sidney spoke up. "He does always complain that nobody takes much of an interest in the paper," he said breathlessly.

Bruno nodded sagely. "And that makes Mark the prime suspect."

Sidney looked up from his plate. "I thought Edward was the prime suspect." "That was Cathy," Pete corrected. " She's the prime suspect."

"They're all suspects," said Bruno definitely.