Macdonald Hall #7: The Joke's on us

Diddly-Squat

Cathy slipped into her room, struggled over to her bed, and dropped her armload of books. "Sorry I'm late, Diane. I had trouble getting that cheesecake to Rex. Miss Smedley's been watching him like a hawk ever since the diet started."

Diane looked up from her homework. "What's with the books?" She squinted at the titles. "Guerrilla Warfare? Booby Traps for Beginners? Military Fortifications? The Official Special Forces Manual? Cathy — are we at war?"

"You heard Miss Scrimmage at the assembly," Cathy replied. "She wants us to defend our turf."

"All I heard was that we should keep our eyes open around the school," Diane pointed out. "And take responsibility for our own security," Cathy finished.

"She's just worried because Marylou got another weird package," Diane argued. "Military fortifications aren't going to keep the post office from delivering another baggie of bird droppings."

"That's the beauty of it," Cathy reasoned. "Miss Scrimmage gave us the green light. We're covered. We can lay booby traps all around the grounds and then say it was her idea."

Diane grimaced. "Maybe. But everyone except Miss Scrimmage knows that the only

'intruders' are the guys from Macdonald Hall — and we want them. What's the point of putting up defenses?"

Cathy rolled her eyes. "Because it's fun. Don't you get sick of all that baking we do? If I have to spend my day training to be a young lady, I want to blow off a little steam as a commando at night."

Diane sat down on her bed, looking miserable. "Cathy, this is crazy. We can't do it."

"Oh, it's not just us," said Cathy airily. "I've recruited tons of girls to help. We meet in the orchard at two a.m."

***

The next day after school, the surveillance team — Bruno, Boots, Pete, Sidney, Larry, and Wilbur — met in room 306.

Bruno called the meeting to order. "First of all," he announced, "don't forget to thank Elmer when you see him. It was his idea to hook up the video camera to the telescope so we wouldn't have to stayup all night watching Scrimmage's. It's also his camera and his telescope, so we owe the guy big-time."

"Where is Elmer?" asked Larry.

"Well," said Boots, "let's just say he's got a lot on his mind." He knew the school genius was holed up in his room, brainstorming snappy lines for his big meeting with Marylou.

"Now," began Bruno, "I don't have to tell any of you guys about the size fifty-two women's underwear up the flagpole this morning."

Pete snickered, and Bruno fixed him with a withering glare. "It's not funny. There was a feather on those bloomers, so we all know it's a Phantom job." He held up a videocassette. "We were taping all night. If it was Cathy and Diane, we should see them leaving their room."

He popped the tape in the VCR and pushed play. A dark image of the side of Miss Scrimmage's appeared on the screen. The camera was focused on the drainpipe outside Cathy and Diane's window. Bruno hit the fast forward button and the boys sat back to await developments.

"Great movie," cheered Wilbur. "I nominate the drainpipe for best supporting actor."

"Don't knock it," Larry told him. "It sure beats sitting up all night squinting into a telescope." Pete yawned. "How long is it going to take to go through the whole thing?"

"Hold it," said Boots suddenly. "Run that back."

Bruno rewound for a moment and hit play. For just a few seconds, a shadowy figure darted across the corner of the screen, disappearing behind the building.