Till Death Separate Us (18+)

1

'Dad, I'm not sure.' I was getting annoyed. We spent 3 hours going into different shops and leaving without buying anything. He keeps on complaining about everything that he possibly can.
I know that there is a lot of going on right now, but taking me to the biggest mafia meeting that happens once a 10 years ? He's just putting more weight on his shoulders. However, as he says I should start getting used to it , to be around a lot of people, people from mafia world. To the ones that can kill and go sleep as if it's the best day of their live's. Buy I'm pretty sure I am used to them. He says that one day I'll be one of those people's wife, their children mother. It doesn't sound as bad as I put it everyone says. But it is. If they won't let me find my true love, I don't want it.
'Let's just buy this one.' I didn't want to try it on, I've seen prettier dresses in other shops but I just don't like going back there. It's embarrassing. 'You should try it on to see-' 'No. It will fit perfectly.' He narrowed his eyebrows. 'What's up with the attidute? I told you. You need to get used to this.' I could feel the anger coming from him.
'it's not even you color. It looks cheap and-' 'this one. If you dont like it, don't pay for it. I will pay for myself.' I snapped. I used to work at a restaurant as a waitress. However, right now is a tough time. I had to quit to help my family with our bussines. Some of the most important shipments were stolen. We have to fly to go to the meeting, my whole family, because he wants to talk with the cruelest man in the mafia world. We see who has a death wish. 
He wants to make a deal, a contract. It better don't be a fucking arrange marriage. Nevertheless, I don't believe that such a cruel man as dad says could ever marry anyone. I strongly believe that marriage would hurt his ego, he would have to ghost all his slaves unless he's a fucking cheater. But it would ruin his reputation, still something inside of me tells that people aren't expecting him not to do it.
'We can go back to the first shop. There was a beautiful dress the red one, it will suit you.' Dad said and left the shop. I really don't feel like arguing today however, I think we will. I followed him behind. Sometimes I wish we could go back to times when I was younger, when I actually felt loved and safe. The past two years were different and difficult I guess if those words are correct to describe my life. One day he just stopped. Stopped caring, worrying about me along with my brothers and mother. At first I didn't understand, but now it feels as if they are trying to get me ready for my marriage. They think there will be no love in it, probably abuse, cheating and no caring. But I would never be in a marriage with no love, I could easily ask for divorce. No matter who it is.
However, now I am supposed to be focusing on the meeting. I have a weird feeling in my guts that it won't end well. Something is gonna happen. I don't know if I should trust that that feeling, it might be just the anxiety. I always used to have problems with communicating after I saw my father shoot a guy between his eyes. But now it got better, sadly sometimes there are days when no word come out of my mouth. That day there was a lot of blood. I remember him begging, pleasing not to kill him, saying he has a family, wife, daughters. He didn't listen anyway. He didn't spare his life. He shot him along with a guy that was with him. What was weird about him that he didn't beg, didn't apologize, didn't even try to talk him out of killing him. He accepted his fate way too early. So he also shot him. But I know if he would have of begged , he still would be alive. My father always spared one of their lives if there was more than 1 person.
Like Alex . He's from Germany. My father and Alex's boss had problems. Something happened. I'm not sure but one of them broke rules . Maybe my father ? That could be possible. But I like to believe that was the German mafia boss. So he killed him. He took 10 of his workers along with their boss. He killed 9 of them. And spared alexs life. He is my bodyguard since I was 14. For 5 year now. He's like a big brother to me, I won't lie that I used to have a crush on him and sometimes I still feel something inside of me when I get to hug him.
I've seen him shirtless many times or only in towel. And trust me that makes my panties wet. He has a body that anyone could die for. Sometimes I think that he has feelings for me, I caught him staring at me many times and when I catch him he gives me a smile. When my father let him be in his gang, he was only 17 , which makes him 3 years older than me. Isn't that good ? Only 3 years difference ? I was always in to older guys that might be daddy issues and sometimes they really kick in however , I ignore it. Every Sunday until 2:00a.m. we watch Netflix. It's our little secret, because if dad would find out that he is in my room at that time, he wouldn't spare his life again.
I once had a boyfriend, a few years ago. Jack. We both were 16,  I thought if I would date someone, I will loose feelings for Alex. But it wasn't a good plan, we dated for 4 months. I didn't tell Alex or dad. But one day Alex had to take me from school and I was with jack . And when we left school holding hands I didn't notice that Alex was already there. Of course, I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Jack, Alex dragged me into the car. He forced me to tell him everything and promised not to tell dad. However, he broke his promise. He told him, I got grounded for 2 months, he took my phone, laptop and everything else that was possible to take. He told me that I made a huge mistake.
And Alex was apologizing the whole time, he didn't want it to turn out the way it did. But what did he expect? That's why I was hiding my relationship from both of them. Because I couldn't trust neither. Now after almost 5 years I forgave him. But I don't trust as much as I used to
'Tomorrow at 2:00 a.m is the flight. You should get ready today, pack your things and don't forget your dress along with heels.' Dad said as he drove off, leaving me in front of our house.
Yeah tomorrow is the flight, and then the meeting. I just want it all to happen so I could be calm again, my anxiety is kicking my guts. I really don't want to go there, almost every single time when there is a fucking meeting, there is a fucking shooting scene. I'm too young to die.

enough for this one. Hope you liked it.

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