A Mother's Pain

Forgiveness

Today is the first day of my daughters funeral. Even though I wasn't feeling well volunteered to greet the guest my self. Because I wanted to meet someone. She hates me, she has every reason to do so. I did something unforgivable to her. I need to apologize, to admit what I did and to tell her what I know. Those are not enough for what I did but we're equal now.

"Seojin-a"

"Yes? yoon chul"

"Are you sure you don't want to rest,you look really tired."

"No I told told you I want to great the guests myself. I'm really fine, nothing to worry about, I lied."

He nodded and left to great other guests.

I guess she's not coming. I was foolish enough to think she will come and show sympathy to someone who pained her alot.

Just as I was about to leave I saw someone enter the room it was her. She came to yoonchul first and then came to me.

"I'm sorry for your lost" she said without bitterness in her tone, it surprised me. I smiled at her.

"Shim suryeon can we taik? alone"

"I-I guess"

As we entered an unoccupied room I knelt in front of her.  

She just stared at me not looking shock at all. It seems like she knows I'm going to do this.

"Im really, really sorry. I-I admit it I locked seol a in the mechanical room. I helped clean up the statue and wrote the suicide note" I confessed. "I'm willing to go to jail, to pay for what I did."

Instead of looking angry she looked pitily at me.

"I forgive you"

Her words took a time to process in my head

"W-what?"

I forgive you, she repeated

"How? I mean-"

"I lost my daughter and your vulnerable. You lost your daughter and I think I too is vulnerable. I should have went easy with the kids. I know they deserve my revenge for what they did to seol a. But then again their still teens and teens mindset right now is very week. It's harder for them to cope with a problem as easily as we did. It might have made her feel worse."

"But you had to do that because of us, because of me"I said more like a whisper. I don't think I can forgive myself more if you think you also have a fault on this."

She smiled at me and assisted me back to my feet.

This is what I wanted to see and to hear, people's repentance. I never thought that the great Cheon seo jin I know would ever kneel to Infront of me. You yourself confessed what you did to me. You changed and we're equal now. What's the point of hurting you again when you lost the person you love the most. Nothing I will do will be worst than this. Forgiveness isn't an easy task but you can tell who deserves it or not.

Hearing these words tears poured down my face.

"But I should have did this when she was still alive. I never made her feel loved. I thought that by pressuring her to work hard for her dreams I'm showing her my love. Just like what my father did. I was foolish and a bad mother, probably the worst. I only realized all of this now that its too late. Now that she's gone and I cant redeem my self to her anymore."I said while my tears kept on falling.

"I lost Seol a without realizing I did. I was foolish enough to believe in Dan tae's lies. All my life I believed hye in was my real daughter. While Seol a was orfaned and raised by violent people. I never got the chance to hug her. To say I love her or to support her. She had no one and I can't stop my self to blame me for it. Your story is quite familiar. She said while tears fell from her eyes too. "We can't go back to the past and change our actions. We can't change our past but we can change our future.'

"Admit what you did on court and tell them what else you know. I'll find a way to move the trial until eunbyeol's funeral is over."

I nodded and muttered "thank you"

________END OF CHAPTER 3________