Angela

Act Five: the Life we once had

What... Did Mori just confess her love to me?! I peer toward her who awkwardly held the book in her hands. Waiting for me to answer her, the glare of her unsuspecting, unwavering, yet impatient eyes. I couldn't accept her love. This felt so sudden, it all felt too sudden. I couldn't do this! But how do I tell her that? How do I reject her in the most peaceful way possible? Is there even a way to do that? I'm not sure nor do I think anyone else would know how to do such a thing.

"Adoi?" Hearing her call me sent shivers down my spine. I knew that was what my sister used to call me, yet she isn't here to call me that anymore. I don't know how to react, I'm sure that I look petrified: One who remains motionless. Expressionless. Unwavering to anything outside of its petrification.

"Adoi?" She asked again. This time she lowered the book to her lap, leaning closer to me. Her breathing became more apparent, more erratic, as though she was desperate for an answer. I couldn't give it to her now without some time to think. She grabbed hold of my hand, I couldn't look at her.

"I... I can't answer it right now. I need some–"

Peering at her face, she quickly stopped in her tracks. Uncertain what to do, I stood up from her bed and she released her grip on me. Walking out of the room, wanting to leave and go somewhere else. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do this! There was too much I had to think about, so much I didn't know, that I had forgotten! How do I confront love if I cannot remember my past? Or at least, a part of it.

The scary part is not knowing what you had forgotten, but this woman in the video is who I need to find. She has the memories I'm missing. I'm sure of it.

Even though I had walked out, I wasn't that far away from the door before I had stopped in place. I was stunned, guilt had traversed down my throat. It lingered, forcing me to stand here and wait for her to take another action.

"Adoi?"

"Please, don't call me that. I don't know Mori, I can't get into a relationship right now, I have to focus on myself. I just can't."

There was silence for a moment. "Oh. I see... That's fine. I hope."

"We can still read together if you want," I interrupted her, "I just need to find myself before I can allow myself to love another. I'm sorry again, Mori. I'm just going to go home, okay?"

She nodded. Closing the book and setting it aside. I had left the house and made my way home.

On the way, I passed by a woman with pink braided hair. She glanced at me and stopped in her tracks. I could see her shadow not moving, and had the urge to peer behind me. Only to spot her staring at me, her body turned to face me.

"Adam..."

She knew my name, and her stature and facial structure had similarities to the one in the video, yet her hair is pink instead of brown. Why is that? Did she dye her hair? Even if this is the person I'm looking for, I wouldn't know what to do to fix my memories. We stood there unsure of what to say, or at least I didn't know what to say. Staring into her eyes, a glimpse into a dreary memory had admitted into my mind. It couldn't be anything else, it wasn't a thought because this hadn't existed in my mind before (to my knowledge at least).

It was blurry, yet I could make out who was who, it was Lily's family, blood was tattered on the ground, the walls, all around us. There was even a pint of it on my person from what I could spot. Lily paced around the blurry memory, the faint screaming echoing in the building.

"Adam, what are you doing here?"

I was in a different place than what I recall. Instead of outside on the street, facing the person who resembles Lily, I was in a building. A home. One that resides in its desolation, and holds few lives.