Sufferable

EARTH FRUIT SHIT

Still Karkat-

"DO YOU WANT YOUR STUPID EARTH JUICE OR NOT." I yell at him from the food room. I'd bought two entire packages and I have no idea why. It's not like I like the stupid earth juice piss.

"fuck yeah! nubs since when have you bought aj?"

I freeze for a minute. 'WELL.. I ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHY I BOUGHT IT BUT IM NEVER GONNA SAY THAT OUT LOUD.'

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING IT TASTES LIKE PISS, NOW DO YOU WANT SOME OR NOT."

"yeah man."

Rolling my eyes, I slam the food-keeper shut and grab about eight of the small juice shit packages and trudge back over to the couch. The packages of juice shit land in his lap after I drop them there and I curl up on the couch next to him, flipping my romcom back on.

"YOU INTERRUPTED ME."

He snickers at me which makes me roll my eyes again.

"so why do you even like watching this stuff man?"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR GOGDAMN BUSINESS."

"karkat chill i was just asking."

"FUCK YOURSELF."

"nah im good."

I grumble wordlessly and roll over on the couch. Something pulls one of my legs up and I snarl over at Dave.

"dude woah."

"WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME."

"im just trying to figure out what the fuck kind of shoes you have on."

"LEAVE MY LEGS ALONE."

"so can i touch your horns then?"

"FUCK YOU STRIDER."

"youd love to wouldnt you.."

My face must have flushed over because he throws his head back while laughing at me.

"NO, YOU'RE OVERWHELMINGLY DISGUSTING."

I growl into my sweater sleeves and curl up into a ball on the couch, making sure my rump is against the couch instead of near Dave. That slimy asshole.

After a while, I slip off the couch to go find something to satisfy my stomach. I look through the things John had called cupboards (he spelled it out as well to make me feel stupid), and pull out the blue box with stupid drawings on it.

"DAVE WHY DO POPTARTS HAVE SUCH AWFUL DRAWINGS ON THEIR BOXES."

"you eat poptarts?"

"YES. KANAYA SAID ROSE HAD SOME AND THEY WERE NICE."

"dude what kind?"

"BLUEBERRY. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS, IT JUST SAYS BLUEBERRY ON THE BOX."

"i need to teach you more english."

"I'M NOT STUPID, DAVE."

"just come here kitkat."

I let out an irritated growl and put the poptarts in the box heater thing before going back to the couch.

"WHAT."

He'd grabbed my husktop and pulled up a webpage on it with a picture of some tiny dark blue circle thing.

"thats a blueberry, kitkat."

"OH. OKAY."

Dave types something into a textbox on the webpage and it loads pictures of the weirdest things I've seen before.

"those are earth things we eat called fruit karkat."

"WOAH.."

He clicks on a green, kind of circular one.

"thats an apple. they can be red and yellow too. thats also whats in aj."

"WEIRD."

He scrolls down the page and I see something that I'd rather not see.

"DAVE. IS THAT A.."

"thats an emoji peach. some weirdo uploaded an emoji."

"WHAT'S AN EMOJI AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE AN ASS."

Dave bursts out in laughter, "dude emojis are stuff you can text people and even i asked rose and she still doesnt know."