antidote

6. Keep on wanting

It was Saturday, Helios did not work. He still went to the library after meeting Eden. He forgot to tell Ares what time they should meet and told himself he would just wait until Ares would show up. As he walked towards the library, Helios observed the place. It was a small street in Soho. Not very popular and strangely quiet. The buildings were not that tall, the greyish cream coloured facades looked sad and beautiful with their flowers and empty windows. A man was walking his dog on the opposite sidewalk, Helios suddenly recognised him. It was Evan Stones, the old man he met yesterday. The sky was menacing and the street was damp from the rain.

He breathed in deeply, taking the smell of the petrichor in and exhaling it slowly out. Helios smiled brightly at Evan and said, 'Good morning Mr. Stones!' and the man smiled back, 'Oh good morning dear! Please call me Evan. Are you headed to the library?' He asked kindly. 'Yes I am, you have such a lovely dog, can I pet it?' Helios asked, feeling genuinely happy to see him and the small dachshund looked adorable. 'Of course! His name is Freddie, he's a bit old like me but he doesn't bite, my boy wouldn't hurt a fly!' Evan chuckled softly, a wave of sadness seized Helios.

'You're not old, you don't look old at least, you're in good shape really and your dachshund looks as well as you do Sir, Oh! How soft he is!' Helios' mouth ached a little from smiling so much, the dog was so soft and fluffy. 'Thank you dear' Mr. Stones looked down at Helios who added, 'Did you name him after Freddie Mercury?' and Evan's face lit up, 'Obviously I did, saw him in concert when I was young, marked me forever.' and Helios asked something he shouldn't have asked. 'So you do remember?' and Evan's face darkened. 'No dear, I don't but I know I was there and I know I cherished this moment my whole life, that's all I need to know.' Helios nodded, regretting his question and said goodbye to the man and went to the library.

He hurried to find the aisle 13 and felt relieved to once again find the fancy magic shelf. Once on the other side, the library smelled different and it's something he had not noticed until now. He turned around and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Ares sat on a brown sofa, focused on his book. 'Hi' He said, 'Morning Helios' Ares replied, voice deep without looking up from his book. 'What are you reading? No, no let me guess! The picture of Dorian Gray?' and Ares shook his head with a smile he failed to hide and threw his head back then glanced at Helios, rolled his eyes and sighed. 'Shut up' He said, acting offended.

Helios chuckled, 'Let me see what you're reading so I can judge you' and Ares threw the book. Yes this asshole threw the damn book. Like it was the most normal thing to do. Helios laughed, actually he didn't laugh but fucking giggled that's embarrassing.
Ares looked back at him in awe 'What was that?' He asked and left Helios confused. 'Uh..?' and Ares seemed flustered, 'Nevermind, you're here, it's funny I didn't see you coming.'

Helios took a deep breath, 'Yeah, I just arrived, how long have you been here? I'm sorry I didn't tell you at what time we should meet.' and Ares smiled, 'Don't worry, I've been there for an hour it's fine, I like this place!' Helios felt a bubble of joy explode in his chest. 'I love it too, I want to know what is your favourite place, you know mine now I want to know yours.'
'It's not far, it's the 'Phonica records' because um.. Well I kind of.. work there' Helios let out a soft chuckle, 'Love that place as well! that's how you know all the good music is it?'

'Touché!' Ares looked down, smiling. He got up and Helios finally took the time to look – stare – at him. His blonde curls were more ginger than blonde, they fell perfectly framing his face which was not the average. Some people may say he looks odd. Helios was drawn to his strange beauty. His soft jaw, big nose made him look exactly like a greek god. His upper lip almost twice bigger than the other. His teeth were not straight, it is something he found beautiful. His skin was not perfect and did not seem smooth but it's something he liked as well. It was so rare to see real people. People who looked odd, who are called 'ugly' in the society we live in. People who don't fit in.

Ares' tall figure looked majestic, his long legs seemed even longer with the navy blue corduroy trousers he wore, with a white shirt opened up a bit too much for this time of the year and a forest green jacket he held. His shoes were probably old because they were tearing apart. His dark skin made Helios think he came from a warm country, this was probably something he had not paid attention to but he wondered where he came from. It's funny, Helios thought, how much importance we give to people's origins. We all come from the same place: earth. It's not so funny to think about the millions who were killed because they were different. In all the ways. He followed Ares outside, the sun hit both of them, making their skin golden.

He thought about something he should write whenever he would have the time, because he knew now that he wanted to know Ares. Helios still had no idea what was going on, how he ended up here but he knew for sure that he didn't want to wast any of the time he had. Time is the only thing we have. Once it's gone you can't ever have it back, it's bittersweet to think about. So, Helios thought that he would keep on wanting. Wanting to live, to love and to want people he could not have because if you don't dare to take any risks life is a bore. Life is meant to be crushing, terrifying and full of surprises good or bad. He had learned to cherish it, no matter how bad the situation can be, it is happening for a reason.