antidote

7. Rebel Rebel

Rebel Rebel, Helios' favourite Bowie song was playing when they entered the 'Phonica Records' and he smiled brightly and turned to Ares.

You love bands when they're playing hard

Helios hummed the lyrics quietly, hoping for Ares to notice and he did. 'You like Bowie?' He asked with a shy smile, his cheeks turning pink. 'Of course! Have you ever been to one of his concerts?' They started wandering in between the aisles. Helios noticed sofas there and there, one was brown in a tweed material looking brand new and the other one in black leather with some pillows on it. The smell was musky and comforting, like the smell of your granddad's old Ford. Helios stopped in his tracks when he saw the guys from 'Tears for Fears'. Fucking Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith were standing right in front of them. Looking so young and real, he almost passed out. They were looking at some vinyls, not knowing they would, in a couple of years later, become one of the most popular pop rock band of the 80s.

A tear rolled down his cheek, it sounds dramatic but he felt so sad knowing he couldn't ask them for an autograph. 'Are you okay? Do you know these guys?' Ares asked, a concerned frowned on his face. 'I'm okay..' Helios sniffed and kept staring at them, out of nowhere Ares grabbed his arm and led him outside, without a word, almost violently.

'What the actual fuck is going on?' Ares spat and Helios' throat felt tight from holding back the tears and it felt even tighter now. He opened his mouth but no word came out. Ares pushed him against the wall. 'Tell me the truth, I'm tired of you, I know, I know everything Helios, for fucks sake say it!' Ares was crying and Helios was crying too. The irony of it all, Boys don't cry was playing. Helios knew he couldn't so he made up a lie. 'I don't know what you mean, I lied yes I knew these guys but I can't, I just can't tell you.' The look on Ares' face darkened instantly and he froze. 'You're queer aren't you?' and Helios said no way too quickly. 'No, no, no I just.. have a secret and you would call me crazy if I told you.' Ares saw right through him.

But, Helios had an even darker secret that being queer and trans. He was not from this world, not from this time.
It still felt like somehow it wasn't as bad as being who he was and being stuck in the 70s. He even forgot what year it was, it could be 1972 like it could as well be 1977. When you live in a world where everything changes in a year, living in a period of time where evolution wasn't as quick and even if it started to be, it was still so slow and that's what he loved about it.

'Sorry, I don't know why I.. I shouldn't have asked it is so rude of me, forgive me please let's just go somewhere else, you don't owe me an explanation we barely know each other.' Ares took deep breaths in between each sentence and the tone of his voice put a certain importance to his words. 'Thank you, I forgive you, you don't have to worry, I'll tell you when I'm ready.' Ares nodded and softly patted his shoulder in a friendly way. 'Alright mate, let's go I'm hungry.' They took the tube for the first time and it was a bit confusing. They went to buy a real physical ticket, no oyster obviously.

They realised the time departure was in 2 minutes and they started running. Heroes was echoing in his mind so he hummed the lyrics.

We can beat them just for one day
We can be hereos just for one day

They ran in the stairs, almost pushing people, having to shout 'SORRY!' 'PARDON ME' and they laughed as the song kept playing in both their heads.

Though nothing will keep us together
We could steal time just for one day

Oh and they laughed until their ribs ached and they were out of breath and running wild.
Helios sang his heart out.

Though nothing will drive them away
We can be heroes just for one day
We can be us just for one day
I, I can remember

Ares sang too, I remember

Helios sang, Standing by the wall

Ares echoed, By the wall

They were screaming together now

And the guns shot above our heads
And we kissed as though nothing could fall

They jumped in the train, a second before the door closed, out of breath and laughing like two kids after telling a silly joke. They couldn't stop laughing even if their body ached, Helios thought to himself that if this what happiness feels like, if he isn't on drugs right now because it feels like he is, then happiness is the best feeling ever and no drug or alcohol can beat it.

'I feel alive.' Ares said after what felt like hours of laughing. 'I feel like I did too many lines.' Helios stated and that sent Ares into another spiral of laughter. 'Stop making me laugh my stomach hurts!' and Helios laughed at that.

In that moment, the judgmental looks and whispers did not even come through their minds, it was simply the usual background sound of the train starting and stopping, people leaving and entering. The lights were yellowish not bright white and Helios loved it. Everything felt warmer and happier. They got down at Covent Garden, it was crowded, still Helios could not tell what day it was which frustrated him, he would have justified it being crowded if it was during the weekend unfortunately he was clueless. They went out eyeing each other to check if they were still there and real.

They headed to a sushi restaurant and Helios had the best sushi he ever had. They spoke about music and art, the conversation flew naturally and was so interesting they didn't even feel time move but at some point Ares checked his watch and his mouth hung open slowly and his gaze met Helios', he gulped and said 'It's half past 3' a quiet 'Oh' escaped Helios' mouth, a second passed and he spoke 'Right, um okay, wow, it's really late and we're still having lunch, should we go?' Helios searched the room but realised it was empty, they were the only ones left. 
'I don't want to leave, let's order dessert.' Ares smiled and Helios sighed, 'I'm full.' Ares' smile turned into a smirk, 'No you're not.' Helios frowned a bit, was he dirty minded or was that an innuendo?

'I am, you can have dessert though.' The tension suffocated him, he could not break the eye contact. 'Mhm, I'll pass if you don't have any, I'll have dessert later.' Ares got up, Helios stared and stupidly sat there. 'Are you coming or what?' that smirk again. Helios rolled his eyes and sighed. He felt like he was staring at an open book written in a foreign language, open but impossible to read.

So many questions, never any answers. It was driving him crazy. Ares was driving Helios crazy.