Anything For You

Monday, January 21st, 1985

tw talk of scars and self harm
Eddie Munson's Trailer, 3:03 AM

I woke up sweating, my dreams had become my own personal hell these last few months.
ever since he left.
Eddie stirred next to me, turning away from me. I felt my heart begin to pound and my palms sweat. I was shaking and overheated, I had to get up. I tried to be gentle but I woke Eddie up anyway
"Are you okay?" he sat up, rubbing his eyes
I sat on the edge of the bed, my back to him, panting and trying to calm my breathing.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he put his hand on my back, his touch causing me to jump and gasp
"fuck, I'm sorry." he removed his hand, and I let out a gentle sob.
"I'm right here." he had sincerity in his voice, and I turned and put my head on his chest, gently sobbing. he wrapped his arms around me and softly kissed my head while I cried. we just sat there until I calmed down.
"I'm sorry I woke you." I wiped my tears, I was so embarrassed.
"It's what I'm here for." he moved a hair from my face, "you don't have to apologize. I love you, remember?"
I nodded. I had forgotten, but I remember now. remember the pictures, the pillow fight, how our first kiss felt.
"I love you."
"do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head
"do you want to go back to sleep?"
I nodded
"Goodnight, baby." he slid his body down and I followed, my head staying on his chest as we laid down.
"you're safe." he kissed my forehead and laid his head down.
I just soaked those words in as I felt his breathing slowly fall into the rhythm of sleep.
I was safe.

-10:05 AM
I don't remember falling back asleep, but I woke up to Eddie's alarm going off
"oh.. fuck." he wiped the sleep out from his eyes and turned the alarm off, "I uh.. have school."
I yawned and sighed, "okay."
"oh, I'm not going. not on our first morning together." he pulled me over and I put my head on his chest, "I wouldn't miss this for anything."
he kissed the top of my head and I think I dozed back off for a bit because when I woke up next Eddie was reading a Rolling Stones
"oh god did I fall back asleep?"
"yeah, like fast." he chuckled
"I'm sorry." I sat up
"Hey, it's fine. you can fall asleep on me any time."
"promise?"
"promise."
I kissed him and turned to grab my weed bag
"you hungry?" he asked getting up to get dressed
"Yesss, and I'm about to be even more hungry" I packed the bowl of Eddie's pipe
"I could make you something? you like, uh... oatmeal? cereal? I think the milks still good.."
"how about some McDonalds? my treat" I lit the bowl, took a hit, then handed it to Eddie
"that sounds delicious" he took a hit
we finished the bowl then I got dressed, and smelled my shirt "oh.. ew."
"here, just wear one of mine."
he tossed me an AC/DC shirt, when I put it on the bottom hem was nearly under my butt.
"It's a big big" he chuckled
"it's perfect" I walked up to him and hugged him.
we stood there for a minute, his head resting on mine, and I just listened to his heartbeat.
"you good?" he spoke into my hair
"I'm good." I pulled away and kissed him, "let's go I'm hungry."

- 11:45 AM
I sat in the back of Eddie's van on a blanket, which was a familiar feeling.
he was inside McDonald's getting our food, I looked down at my arms and realized I was in daylight without a jacket in front of Eddie for the first time, and I wasn't ready for the question, "what happened?" or the concerned realization that the horizontal white lines on my skin weren't stretch marks.

I looked around the van and found a long-sleeved plaid flannel and put it on. it smelled like Eddie, aka weed and ax body spray.
"Okay so I got you a 10-piece nuggets meal, a sweet tea, and barbecue sauce for dipping." he smiled at me, holding a bag in one hand and a drink tray in the other one.
"yummy!" I scooted forward on my knees, grabbing the drinks and setting them on the van floor next to me
"got cold?" he gestured to the shirt with his head before climbing in the van and sitting next to me
"yeah," I chuckled, "it's like a wind tunnel in here."
"you get cold a lot, huh?" he smiled and opened the bag
I nodded and took a drink of my tea, grabbing my nuggets from him.
he leaned and turned his radio on, then put in Queen's The Works, my favorite album by them.
I opened my nuggets and started eating them, and Eddie grabbed one and bit it, "taxes"
"hey!" I laughed, "now I only have 9"
"oh that's an uneven number, I should take another" he reached for another one
"no!" I laughed and pushed his hand away "I'm fine with nine"
"suit yourself" he shrugged and grabbed my fries out of the bag, then his chicken sandwich and fries
we ate, and then laid down, "I want a hot fudge sundae."
"your wish is my command." he kissed my forehead and went back in