All I ever wanted...

Father's Day

Charlie's POV:

... *Beep Beep* uhhh I heard my phone ringing and woke up, I looked on the screen and saw that it's 7am. Yesterday was such a great day, I learned how to play drums and that's what I wanted for such a long time. And also I got Tre's old clothes which I love to wear and gonna wear today as well.

I stood up and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. As I looked into the mirror, I realized what day is today... Father's Day... which means Ramona and Frankito gonna come later today to visit Tré, like Sara said yesterday.
I hate Father's Day...

Right after I brushed my teeth, I went back into my room and grabbed my phone.
I made the decision to leave the house for today... "I feel like, I shouldn't be here when Tre's kids come to visit" I thought to myself.
As soon as I went downstairs, I grabbed a banana and made my way through the door, silent of course... I didn't want that Tré and Sara wake up.

So, look at me... I walked through the streets of Oakland the whole morning and didn't have a plan where to go. I was sad, sad and angry at the same time... I hated myself for leaving the house but, I guess it's better this way... I probably couldn't stand to see how much fun Tré would have with his kids.
For the afternoon I decided to go to the beach and watch the water until the evening, then I would go back to Tre's house, yeah that's a good idea I guess.
While I was sitting on the beach, I lost myself in my thoughts, I was thinking about my past and everything... it made my cry and I tried to hide my face with my hands... nobody should see that I was crying.

Suddenly, I felt a touch on my right shoulder so I turned around and saw that Jakob was standing there. I tried to whip the tears out of my eyes as fast as I could but Jakob noticed that I was sad and asked "Hey Charlie, why are you here all by yourself? Is everything okay?"
"I'm here because I wanted to be alone today" I answered and tried to seem as happy as I could.
"You sure? Charlie, I saw that you were crying... please tell me what happened" he said concerned.
"It's just... it's fucking Father's Day Jakob... and Tre's kids are there. I felt like, I wasn't welcomed" while saying that, tears went down my cheeks.
"Oww Charlie, don't say that! I know Tré for my whole life, you are always welcome. I bet he wants that you come back, he must be worried about you" he said and touched my shoulder again.
I was looking straight into his eyes, he is right... I shouldn't have gone without saying where I was. "Thank you Jakob" I said and hugged him. He was so confused, he didn't understand why I was thanking him. But before he could say something, I stood up and ran back through the streets and to Tre's house.

When I stood in front of the door, I looked on my phone screen, thousands of messages were popping up on my phone... all from Tré. I didn't have wifi when I was outside. A look at the clock on my phone told me it's already 8 pm. Ramona and Frankito must have left now.
I knocked on the door and immediately Tré opened the door.
Before I could say something, he put his arms around me and hugged me tightly.
"Thank god, you're okay! Where have you been the whole day? Why didn't you respond to my messages?" He almost screamed.
"I-I- I was at the beach..." I answered shyly.
"The whole day? All by yourself?" He asked worried.
"Yes.." I said. I could see, he really was worried about me...
"But why? Didn't you know, Ramona and Frankito were here?" He said.
"I know, that's the reason I left..." now he just looked confused. "look, it's Father's Day and they were coming to see you! I felt like I disturb you guys" I said sadly and looked to my shoes.
"Why do you feel like that? Ramona and Frankito were so excited to meet you. Don't have thoughts like that" he answered.
There was another reason why I left the house but again, I couldn't look at him so I just kept looking at my shoes while saying that.
"Well... Tré, it's not only that I felt I would bother you all... there is another reason why I left... I couldn't stand seeing you with your kids together... I hate Father's Day... it's the same shit ever year! I don't have a dad and never had, mine died when I was a baby. This day reminds me of the pain to not have a father... and that's what I ever wanted.
Someone to call dad, a dad who I can tell my secrets and feelings to, a dad who watches my soccer games and comforts me when I lose a game, someone who would build legos with me and someone who makes bad "dad jokes"
...just someone to hug..." while saying that I couldn't control myself, tears went down my cheeks and when I looked up to Tré, I could see he also had tears in his eyes...
He didn't had words to say in that moment he just stepped closer and hugged me again, for a long time.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie" he whispered after a while "I'm so so sorry, I can't imagine the pain you must feel" while saying that he rubbed my back.
"It's o-okay, I live with that my whole life" I stumbled.
"No it's definitely not okay, I want you to know that I'm always there for you, okay? You can always come to me if you want to talk or if you feel bad or if you need a hug... everything. I will try my best to help you, I promise!" he said and kissed my forehead.
I looked up and said "Thank you Tré" and smiled at him.
"I'm tired, I better go to bed now" I said and went upstairs to my room.

The whole day stressed me out but I was happy about what Tré said. I fell on my bed and immediately fell asleep, I didn't even changed my clothes or cover me up with my blanket.
...