Breakthrough

Six

You looked up from the laundry you were folding as Emily came in with Autumn balanced on her hip. The pup was chattering in that babbling mysterious way that pups had. Emily was answering her very seriously, even though it's likely that she only caught every tenth word or so. The minute she caught sight of you, her arms reached out and she started chanting "Mama!"

Reaching up, you took your pup from Emily and settled her into your lap as you nuzzled her. "There's my baby, did you have a good nap?"

More excited chattering before a hand patted at your cheek and then pulled on your hair. Laughing, you set her down on the ground to let her explore as you picked up another piece of laundry. Emily sat down next to you, picking up the remote and clicking the TV on. It immediately picked up a news broadcast, which seemed to be the only thing on all the channels.

"Holy cow, look at this."

Your hands rested on your lap as you watched the news. There had been a bombing at the United Nations Building in Vienna. Some kind of terrorist attack at the signing of something called the Sokovia Accords. Eyes flicking towards where Autumn was currently playing with toys in the corner, assuring yourself that she was fine.

"Officials have released video of a suspect who they identified as James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent linked to numerous acts of—"

Your eyes returned to the television in time watch the image of the bombing morph into a still apparently taken from CCTV footage. It felt like the air had frozen in your lungs, a low buzzing filling your ears as you stared at the image on the screen. You knew that face.

The person who they were saying did this horrible thing, and a list of other horrible things, was him. The alpha you dream of constantly. The one you saw every time you looked at your pup. There was no doubt in your mind that it was him. How could there be when the pup you had created together had not just his coloring but the shape of his eyes, his nose, even his lips.

Vaguely, you were aware of Emily saying your name. It felt like you couldn't breath, your thoughts whirling as you stared numbly at the screen. A hand on your arm finally snapped you out of it. Your head snapped towards Emily, seeing the obvious concern on her face. She said your name quietly and then asked, "Are you okay? You went really pale, and you're shaking."

Looking down at were your hands were twisted together, you saw she was right, there was a tremor running through them. Swallowing thickly, you nodded and said, "I—uh—I'm not feeling well. I think I'm going to go lay down. Will you watch Autumn?"

Emily's face was a mask of concern but she nodded. You moved over and pressed a kiss to the top of Autumn's head, smiling a little at her immediate babbling response.

In your room, you buried yourself into your nest and tried to even your breathing. After more than two years you finally had a name. And it broke your heart a little, because now you also knew not just his name but what he was. You knew when he had appeared he was likely dangerous—just look at how he had been dressed. But this? This was something else.

And yet, you still wanted him. Still wished he was here with you, like a real mate.

~*~*~*~

His name was James Buchanan Barnes. People called him Bucky. His name was James Buchanan Barnes. People called him Bucky. His name was James Buchanan Barnes. People called him Bucky.

Over the past two years, it had become a kind of mantra for him. A way to ground himself as he kept himself going. His memories weren't as fractured as they once were. Though the nightmares were still a constant thing. Sometimes it felt like too much. But he was surviving.