I never knew I needed him sm..

Yina

My name is Yina. Probably everyone in school thinks I'm perfect.

-Im pretty
-Im good at school
-I have a good style outside school
(we have school uniforms)
-Im popular
-I have many friends

Perfect right?

No big no. Nothing in my life is perfect.
My family was toxic. I grew up with violence and parents who didn't care at all. My older sister left our household years ago, but me, I couldn't my parents didn't let me go. But only because they needed someone to put off there anger.

They never cared about me. I could go out anytime and they wouldn't care, even if I wouldn't come home. But still they would be mad if I left.

You probably thinking " Why didn't she just ran away?"

Because they give me food. Without them I would just be lost. And also Im scared that if they find me after I would ran away. They probably would kill me. So Im just staying with them until Im old enough to live my one life.

Im 17 btw.

After school I always work at this little Cafe. In my city. I love working there,cause then I feel like a normal human. No one knows about my family situation. Not even my friends. Always when they ask if they can come over to my place, I have some stupid excuses. Mostly they belive me.

On my free days from work I go to the library or to this lavender field far away from the city.

Its the only place I can relax and be myself. I listen to music and just walk around smelling the lavender.

It isn't easy going to school with my family situation. I always have bruises and have to wear a jacket.

I think some people think I am some sort of depressed kid who hurts themselves. But that's not like that. Actually I like myself. And I'm always sad if I can't show of my beautiful body.

And that's why I love the lavender fields so much. Cause there I can do and wear whatever I want. Because no one goes there and Im always alone.