MUFFLED GROANS

chapter 36 | Regretful

"Make sure to never fucking come back here!" she yells at me, but I do not turn around, I leave the house and walk away.

'LEA'S P.O.V'

"Is there a place you think we could find her if she's not here?" I drive closer to her house but get stopped by a red light. "I don't know..." he shakes his head, having a hard time relaxing and thinking positively. He always lets himself get overwhelmed with his emotions.

"Has she ever talked about a certain place to you? Or maybe mentioned?" I clear his mind as much as I can. "I don't..." he shakes his head and heaves his hand up to it. "The only place she once talked about with me was the beach..."

"We'll go and check the beach then," I go back on the road and make a turn to finally get closer. "Dad...I'm sorry for being mad and so mean to you...I wouldn't have expected that—"

"Don't be sorry, it's okay," I hope for him to not feel bad. "You did the right thing. If I was in your shoes and that I saw that happening, I'd have reacted the same way. This is my fault, I should have listened to you and been more careful, I shouldn't have trusted her."

"It's not your fault...! Don't say that," he shakes his head and passes his sleeve over his cheeks. "You tried your best, and I was too scared to understand it."

"It's okay," I run my fingers through his hair. "I have something to tell you...I wanted to tell you yesterday, but Lea asked me to wait so that she would enjoy the night with you..." he provokes some anxiousness by slowly talking, and I peek at him. "Something happened, that's why I told you to text me and not her if you wanted to talk to her...Raphael managed to make her open up...and she told him all the things that Aylin did to her..." he cries even more heavily as I can feel the tightness in my chest and throat. "She starves her...she's the one who caused those bruises I saw on her body...she once pushed her down the stairs and Lea had to go to the hospital...she even tried to drown her some days ago when we were sleeping...

I feel so guilty and hurt.

"I should have insisted on making her sleep in my room...that wouldn't have happened," he never stops putting the blame on himself when many different actions could have prevented that from happening. "Matteo. Do not feel like you're at fault. If I had listened to you and not let Aylin come to our house, this wouldn't have happened either. If I had woken up, that wouldn't have happened either, so many things could have saved her from this. So stop thinking about what you could have done or not, the problem is Aylin and no one else. Okay?"

"Hm," he does not accept this truth, but since we are now close enough to the house, I unbuckle my seat belt, and he does the same. I stop the car but make sure he stays in the car. "Let me go and wait here, alright? Aylin might be here."

"Hurry up, please," he exudes anxiety, and I reassure him. "I will," I get out of the car and walk up to the front door, and I knock on it in a pretty loud manner.

My heart still beating hard, the door gets opened, and I face the one who I did not expect to be such a monster. "Jung—"

"Where is Lea?" I do not listen to her, her smell reeking alcohol, and her gaze exposing her inebriation. I need to control myself and remember she is a woman, and that I am a way much stronger man who will not turn into the disgusting person she is to make her pay for the things she has done to Lea. No matter how much I want to, I cannot, and I will not physically hurt anyone. This will not help Lea.

"Lea...? I don't know...Why?" she barely stands on her feet, holding onto the door to not trip over. "Did you see her?"

"She...I think she left somewhere," she lifts one hand up, meaning she may have seen her. "Is she here? Or did she leave the house some minutes ago?"