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I smiled wickedly when my guards told me that she had just appeared there. I know she knew they would have been suspicious so she would've tried to hurry. I knew someone who could make her wait, and though I'd hate to admit it. She took an liking to Alessio.
Wish it could be me, yeah? No?
"Drive as fast as you can on back route, where no one goes I want to fucking be there by 10 to 15 minutes Bent." I smile, as he looks at me weird before nodding his head and letting me settle before speeding off.
I was going to get her to stay, hopefully she will listen, just for me.
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I practically rush out of the car, running into the house, fast on my feet. My smile fades though as I see her door wide opened, no suitcase but just a snow globe that set on her dresser. The one I specially got made for her. I don't think she ever notice but on the bottom it says her sons name. I wish it brought her comfort if she would've known.
"Cazzo. Cazzo. Cazzo!" I groan as I go to her room, picking up the snow globe and just sitting on the bed. I'm always too late for everything, like how I was fucking late in saving her because of my own fucking selfishness. It's my fault she had to kill him, I would've kill him any chance I'd got but if rot she would hate me if I did.
I played with the snow globe for a second before I felt the anger creep up so slow it fucking hurt. I just needed it to all go away, I was okay with being The Italian's Most Heartless Mob Boss.
I was so fucking okay, but then she made me remember what my true feelings were before I became so ruthless. I don't know if I should hate her for that or thank her, but now I'll never get the chance to, I'll never fucking see her again and it's all my fucking fault.
I contemplate if I want to throw the snow globe, or the fucking chair next to me. I decided on picking up the glass cup on the bedside table. I picked it up and threw it against the wall, as it shattered I just fucking knew that I was about to go into my full rage state. It always happens when I try to stop feeling sad, so I just channel it into rage.
It always works.until now.
I don't feel the sadness go away, it's just there lingering against the wall of rage, touching it every time I try to make it go away. I grab another glass item and just throw it, it felt somewhat like a fucking release. I just wish I was fucking on time, cazzo, it's all my fault.
