A/N I hope the book gets better for y'all, I honestly think it does.. :)
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I sat in my bed, with so many thoughts that they could flood an river. It was like all I thought about was the feeling of his lips on mine, and if I could I would kiss him forever.
I'll wait for him to give me an hundred reasons, especially the 50th one. I don't know if I'd stay after it depends, I wanted to stay to see if I would actually put him in any danger or not. The best thing to do right now is rest and stay hidden, god I could use some more sleep but all I am dreaming about is his kiss, warm lips and his dick pressing into my thigh.
I was truly hypnotized, but I'm glad we stopped because it might have gotten farther than I wanted it to go. I didn't think we would do anything sexual considering that he doesn't like to be touched but god I would love to touch all over his body.
I finally turn the lamp off, pull the comforter over my shoulder and closing my eyes. I kept trying to fall asleep but as I said before hit as images of him kissing me so gently then roughly that all I could think about was him.
I finally turned over, my small pajama shorts that were riding up my thighs felt like they were leaking with everything that I've kept inside. I've never been this overwhelmed from just dreams, that had happened prior to them.
I still manage to barely keep it in, holding my legs together and turning around hoping that sleep would come to me but it never did. I was washed away with arousal everywhere and right now I just wanted it to go away.
I know I'm seconds away from seeing the nightmare, two now. I'm going to see my son die again. over and over and over again.
I was worried so fucking worried, sad, and scared and it was just one thing that was blocking me from breaking down.
Ezio.
I flipped and turned, rolled over, layed on my stomach but still no sleep. I finally gave up laying on my back and watching as the darkness envelopes my eyes, wide awake just sitting in darkness.
I finally close my eyes, but forced to immediately open them when I heard a knock on the door. "Come in." I say tirelessly letting out a deep breath before I sit up bring the cover over my chest, seeing as I wasn't wearing any bra in an loose shirt that most hung to my cleavage.
I reach over to turn the lamp on so the person who came in but as soon as I see him I regret it. I regret ever turning the light on and not keeping it to darkness.
"I-I killed you! I swear I did, you aren't here anymore!" I screamed as I scattered to the top of my bed my back hitting my bedpost as my stomach tightened in the worst way possible.
"Scared little Lesi, you never had what it took to be the mafias top assassin! Yet you killed me in cold blood, or did you?" He screamed at me making me flinch.
Let it be over fuck let it be over.
"Mommy, help-!" My son says as I see him on the bed crawling to me, with that look in his eyes when he was first taken away from me, when he fucking first left me. That innocent look in his eyes when he took his last breathe.
I was overwhelmed at seeing both of them, but more overwhelmed when I see Aidan holding a gun to his head, again.
I couldn't let him die, he's right in front of me! I can't let him go, he's been alive this whole time and I've just been a bad mother and it caring for my boy.
"Poor Lesi neglecting her own son because she thought he died? What if you killed him! You killed our son you cold blooded bitch! I saved you and you killed me too, you're an monster!" He screamed louder on each word making my ears ring and fuck I couldn't help but cry, shaking while I am.
"Say goodbye Lesi, it's time." He whispers as he comes up behind me, somehow squeezing through the tight space of my back and bedpost. I could feel his hand gripping my arm, lifting it and opening my hand to place the gun in it.
"No, No, PLEASE NO!" I scream but I feel nobody hears me, no one. It's just me holding an gun to my son. Crying. Screaming. Terrified. I'm about to kill my own son, over and over again.
"Alessia." The voice rings in my ear as my eyes finally dart open, I could feel the tears running down my face though, it felt like an complete waterfall was falling down my cheeks.
"Stay calm Principessa, breathe." He whispers in my ear as my body shakes— trembles even. I couldn't calm down though all I could think about is those brown curls sprawled over on my lap and the look of death written across his face.
"Lay down amore." He whispers, and even through all of the shaking i could manage to listen to him and lay down. I thought he would leave after I did, after he seen me stop shaking and the sobs getting quieter but instead I felt the warmth of his body against mine.
"I remember the first time I took someone's life." He whispers as he strokes my hair, his front hugging my back in the most sensual way. I wasn't completely calm but under him I felt the most comfortable.
"I went home that night with the most unsettling feeling, his screaming in my head wouldn't stop." He mumbles slowly as if he was tapping back into that moment, he was feeling almost exactly how I was.
"The nightmares, the delusions. I felt sick, it was torture." He says as he cuddles more into me, my tears falling silently— only the noise of his voice in my ear, the soft but deep voice making my body shiver.
"It never gets better— you just have to learn to get over it." He finally says, and that's when I finally accepted it. I wanted Ezio so fucking bad, I don't know how that was the only thing on my mind but it just was.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask softly, my voice barely above a soft whisper because in all honesty I was afraid to ask, I knew why I felt like this all over again— I was crushing on my patient, I was asking him to spend an night with me when I was supposed to be helping me.
I know it's wrong, forbidden even. I didn't want him to leave but— I can't handle rejection. He kisses my shoulder, pulling my body even closer to his own. I couldn't deny I felt quite naked considering he was almost fully clothed.
"Goodnight Sia." He whispers and all the tears seem to dry up at the name, all of the pain and sadness seem to go away just from one word. I need to stay away after this night- my heart is going to start yearning for a man I know I couldn't be with.
"Goodnight Ezio." I whisper back closing my eyes and engulfing myself in darkness.
why does my heart always want what I can't have?
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FILLER CHAP BECAUSE I HAVENT WROTE IN A WHILE AND I JUST KEPT ADDING TO THIS CHAPTER FOR WEEKS ;)))
