❝P-please,❞ He whimpered, holding my hand over his erection. It was perfectly hard and ready for me, straining against his boxers in the most delicious way.
"What is it that you want me to do, baby?"
"Touch me," He moaned and drew his head back whe...
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The look on Orion's face when I declined his offer to join him was devastating. His big brown eyes, usually filled with a hint of timidity, had been bright and confident for once. But that sparkle quickly faded, replaced by a shadow of crestfallen disappointment. Seeing his expression was gut-wrenching, a stab of guilt I couldn't shake off.
It wasn't until I returned to my dorm that the full weight of my actions crashed down on me—not just this incident but everything I'd done since arriving at Finewaters months ago.
When Orion and I first met, I had been relentless in asserting my dominance. I invaded his personal space, made sly, cutting remarks that I knew would fly over his head, using his innocence as a shield for my own insecurities and selfish desires. With a coquettish tilt of my hips or a subtle push of my breasts, I teased him mercilessly, dangling the allure of my body just out of his reach. I joked about his lack of worldly experience, pretending amusement, when in reality, I was erecting a fortress to keep him—and everyone else—at arm's length.
Then, after enduring my barrage of actions and finally mustering the courage to express his interest, I dashed his hopes with a simple, cruel decline. "I can't," I had said, brushing off his invitation with the flimsy excuse that I wasn't allowed off campus yet. Even then, the words felt hollow, a pathetic mask for the truth I was too scared to confront.
I watched his confidence crumble, his shoulders slumping as if burdened by a thousand humiliations. His resolve shattered like fragile glass, each fragment cutting into me. As I turned to leave, his voice, once steady and rich, became a shaky whisper, the familiar stutter creeping back into his speech. "O-okay, that's fine," he managed to say, the phrase barely audible, saturated with disappointment and resignation.
All I wanted to do was turn around and take it back, to say that I would gladly go anywhere with him. But I was scared. Scared because Orion wasn't like any guy I'd been with before. He wasn't interested in Lucy; he was interested in me. And I feared that after having him, even a piece of him, Lucy wouldn't allow me to want him anymore.
His words echoed in my mind long after I had left. Inside my dorm, the silence was oppressive, gathering every sound particle and forcing me to confront my guilt. I sank onto my bed, head in hands, the enormity of my actions pressing down like an unforgiving vise. I had been so wrapped up in my own fears and insecurities—my own selfish lust—that I had failed to see the hurt I was inflicting on someone who, despite barely knowing me, had seen something worth caring for.
And then, like clockwork, Lucy made her grand appearance. This time, she wasn't here to drool or gawk. She was there to punch the hell out of me.
I am a piece of you, Clover. Not the other way around.
Her words hit me like a bolt of lightning, casting light to the shadows of my mind. She was right. She had always been there, but it was me who had given her control, allowed her to dictate my actions while I hid from my own vulnerabilities.
