Gray's Self-Inserty Messes

Cuddles and Comfort

So uhhh yeah... Ghost. Best band. I didn't think I would simp/take comfort in the spooky pope men.

Then Papa III showed up. (And all the other Papas; honestly)

Enjoy whatever the hell this is. It's kinda cheesy. But also mmmm comfort character moment.

***

The smell of honey and jasmine is what catches my attention first as I slowly wake up. My chambers are still, only the sound of footsteps passing outside in the hall are noticeable. I turn, and my hand brushes against something soft and warm... I open my groggy eyes, and immediately sit up as I realize-- oh dear Satan!

Papa Emeritus himself is in my bed?!

I swallow hard and lift the covers a bit. We were both clothed (thank Satan), though Papa Terzo had kicked off his shoes. Looking at him now, his slicked back hair had roughed up a bit, falling onto his cheek. His skull-shaped makeup had smeared (apparently he'd forgotten to take it off? Did he rush in here?), leaving a white residue on some of my pillowcase.

What the hell happened last night?

As my racing heart finally settled, I took stock of the situation. Papa Emeitus III, Terzo, the most important person in the clergy, was in my bed. Last night, from what fuzzy memories pop up as I start to feel a little more energized, was... bad. I had rushed out of a ritual for another Sibling of the clergy, my emotions that night ran high. Panic. Dread. Realizing I was going to have to do that same ritual in front of thousands of people and--

I take a deep breath. I had to focus on the now.

I consider whether or not I should wake the man sleeping in front of me.

"...Papa?" I speak, my breath hardly passing through my lips.

Terzo shifts, but doesn't open his eyes.

"Ah- um...Papa... Get up? Please?" I can barely speak, the confusion and fear of what the hell he might say or do restricting me. He groans.

"Five more minutes..." he mumbles, lifting the bedcovers over his head.

"Terzo!" I whisper with urgency, not caring to be formal anymore, "You're in my room! What- what are you doing in here?"

Terzo stirs and sits up, and he blinks slowly. "Oh..." he says. Suddenly, he tears the covers off the end and stands up, looking down at himself, then to me, eyes wide.

"Oh! So we didn't-- Ah, that would not have been very gentlemanly of me, heh." He jokes, grinning sheepishly as he stretches. "What was I doing in here...? Oh right! You were having a bit of a uh, attacco di panico, mio caro."

I nod. "But....why did you come in here? With me?"

Terzo sits back on the edge of the bed, gesturing for me to come closer. I scoot next to him, and my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

"Now why wouldn't I? You were scared, and when you ran offstage, I was worried for you, Gray. As a Sibling of Sin, you should know that I care for you, and..." He looks down, and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. "When I saw your face, and how scared you looked... I never want to see you look like that again."

My face heats up, my chest practically aflutter. Papa really cared that much about me? His eyes show nothing but sincerity and kindness, and I feel too much all at once. I try to speak, but words can't describe how I feel and I can't muster them up anyway, so instead I do the only think I can think of. I pull Terzo in for a hug.

"Cosa stai facendo?" He asks, his body feels tense and I can hear his heart pounding. I squeeze his chest a bit harder, burying my face into him.

"Mi dispiace, Papa. Just-- please let me do this. Please."

I'm the back of my mind, I know this is completely wrong to do. But Satan, we're just two people at the end of the day, and I can't thank him enough for reminding me of that. Slowly, I feel his arms wrap around me.

"You don't need to apologize, mio caro. And you don't need to be so formal, heh. Right now I am just Terzo, and you are just Gray. We don't need to worry about anything else, bene?"

He rubs circles into my back. I silently wish this could last forever. The warmth, the love and care that emanates from him... I don't want to let go. But, we do, and Terzo looks at me with a gentle smile.

"You know," he says, "I sort of freaked out at my first ritual, too..."

"You did?" I ask, bewildered.

"Sì. I was young, and it took time to build ah- eh... what's the word for fiducia in English?"

"Confidence?"

"Yes, confidence! I was not very confident at first, but once I realized that all of the people weren't expecting me to be perfect, I thought 'Well, it's not that bad!'" Terzo pats my shoulder. "You need to remember, Gray, that no one expects perfection. And if they do, they're just not going to get it, and aren't worth the time."

I nod, and lean my head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Terzo. I think I need to keep that in mind..."

We sit for a while. And I feel myself drifting again as his arms wrap around me and we lay back down without another word.