𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃𝐒 .

8.

᪥᪥᪥

𝐦𝐚𝐡𝐢'𝐚𝐢 ☼

"taryn?"

i look at the printed schedule in my hand in genuine disapproval, rereading the text connected to my last name over and over again in order to make sure that it's real.

"mhm." my father says in short, not at all once looking up from the tv that he sits and watches, a big cigar or whatever it was he  always smoking sitting in the corner of his mouth. as soon as i got downstairs, he was smoking, and he has not stopped- not even as i took the job of making myself my own breakfast, which was a bowl of fruit gathered from random ingredidents he keeps in his half-empty fridge. i can't help but to judge his silence, but his recent actions as of late indicate that it's okay for me too.
"my name is mahi'ai," i murmur in slight hesitancy. "...why you tell the school t'at it's taryn? that's na' me.."

"mahi'ai a little hard to say, don't you think?"

the tone of his statement doesn't leave me room to argue at all, completely dominating what could've been my opinon. it angers me rather quickly, and instead of reflecting upon what my anger brought to me the day prior i can only sit with my brows furrowed in a glare i know is murderous.

"you changed.. my name?" i process carefully, my chest sinking even deeper as i can't seem to help the rage that clouds over me. "y-"

"taryn. that shit is easy, and it's yo grandmother name so it don't matter too much." the man cuts me off indignantly, not taking one moment to show me the sincerity that he doesn't even have. instead, he is being sincere right now in his ignorance- he genuinely doesn't see a problem with stealing a part of my identity, because he thinks that its his own to dictate. the thought makes me fume, and my brother turning the corner into appearance is the only things that makes me feel a bit better. i watch in silence as my father hands my brother whatever it is he is smoking, not helping but to be a bit confused as in turn, my brother begins using it.

"c'mon goldie." adonis tells me as if he isn't actively committing a crime before venturing towards the front door. in a way, they both silence me with their odd behavior as i follow my brother out the door.

maybe it's just me acting odd; maybe i don't know the in's and out's of jersey yet and just maybe, this act they have is normal. it's an excuse that would've been exceptable.. if i did not know them before they began acting like this. it only makes me slightly suspicious as i make sure my backpack is properly on before looking up at my brother who i swear has never been too close with my father in spite of his random behavior.

"baba made me change my name." i murmur, earning the attention of my brother who squints his eyes down at me as smoke flows out of his nose.
"oh shit." adnois remarks, taking my schedule with such a dedicated interest it makes me smile, knowing that what i can't find in my father is always right there in my big brother. he actually reads what i point out on the paper, reacting in his usually comical manner as he scrunches his face up. "who the fuck is taryn?"
"our grandma?"
"ion know her ass."

"me neither." i giggle as we transfer to the car. i hum, taking off my backpack before beginning to strap the belt over my chest. i can't help but to somewhat grimace at the smell that fills the car as soon as my brother gets in, espeically when after he rekindles it with a lighter he seems to pull out of the sky. i hesitate for a moment, looking down at my hands as i give him a moment to start the car. "...t'at don't stop you from driving good?"
"nah." he denies simply, so self assured its nearly mocking as we began to travel the road in front of us. "why? if you scared i'll put it out."
"no, i trust you." i assure quickly, tugging at the fabric of my own jeans before procuring carefully what i want to say in my head before just lowering my own voice to an unsure whiper. "i just.. nothing."