Art Gallery ~ minsung

7th June

Jisung's POV

I felt better. I indeed felt better and had started cleaning up my house. After telling them what happened, Felix and Changbin were firmly convinced that Minho liked me in that way, but I was sure he didn't. He had made it clear that he was not even a bit interested. But I had him as my friend, and even though I may need to fight against weird cravings if one day I got to hang out with him, I was finally feeling better and couldn't be more grateful to whatever kind of external force brought him back into my life.

vv - "ok hear this"

vv - "are you a superhero?"

"oh well I've never heard this one" - vv

vv - "because you saved me from falling off a bridge"

"JISUNG THAT'S SAD!!" - vv

And yes, we texted everyday. Every single day. We were back to making jokes, but worse than before. We exchanged useful and original pick-up lines as well. We did it in a friendly way and it never failed to light up my mood or make me laugh my ass off. 

"Bro, I swear, this guy likes you and I don't care if he has a girlfriend, because he himself doesn't care to have one at this point."

"Felix you're not helping, bro." I chuckled as I washed the dishes and Lix cleaned the table. Changbin had taken out the rubbish because, of course, he had to be the manly man. "I don't even know if I'm capable of loving someone anymore. I've been heartbroken so many times I lost hope."

"Yah! Don't say that!"

Well, I surely felt and looked better - my cheeks were all fluffy again! - but that didn't mean I forgot about everything. I was still afraid someone could leave me like my ex did and Minho's kiss still managed to burn on my lips. I was afraid to look around. I didn't think I could welcome someone in my heart that easily without having severe trust issues.

Unless that one person was Minho, but that would never happen.

At least I had started to eat normally again and was showering as much as every other person in the world. When I went out - or better, I third-wheeled Felix and Changbin - I cared about looking good, but still, I felt like I did belong to someone already. Maybe I belonged to myself and myself only. Should I marry me?

Minho's POV

Thinking of Jisung was bittersweet. I would stop and stare into nothingness with an idiot smile whenever I thought about him, but at the same time I was constantly reminded that we would never be something more than friends.

Everytime he asked me to hang out, I was either busy or I didn't feel ready to see him again. I knew that the only thing I wanted was taking care of him and making him feel loved, but I wasn't the one supposed to do it. We would never end up being together.

Moreover, I started becoming distant to Yoonmi as well. As I've always said, she had so much love to give, and I wouldn't be surprised if one day she ended everything that was between us. I even asked myself if there was any feeling left for her, but they just disappeared as fast as they created back then. It was terrifying to be in a relationship with someone you don't love anymore. Yoonmi didn't deserve that. She had her faults, but everyone does. She was still one of the most amazing women I had ever met, so hard-working, so stunning, so loving and gentle. 

All of a sudden, I realised I still hadn't gone to see Jisung's exhibit. Spending minutes thinking, working and staying with Yoonmi didn't really leave me much free time. Or maybe I was just scared of fainting once and for all in front of that pitch black he used that scared me to death. Since I had a free hour, I decided to go to the building right near and dedicate just another hour to Jisung - yeah, we texted way too much, maybe.

I walked into the corridor that led to his exhibit. I had a wide smile on my face. Luckily there were very few people in the gallery at the moment, since it was about to close. 

Standing in front of every painting, I had countless reminiscences of the various stories behind them. Jisung talked so easily about his past and his private life. I would've loved to see his beautiful smile once again, if only I didn't have the side effect of wanting to plant an endless kiss on his lips right after. 

I stopped in front of "Can't be with her". That was it, the pitch black. I felt my breath slightly disappear.

I remembered the story behind it and suddenly realised. If he ever came to like me, this was exactly what I would cause him. I did belong to someone else after all. Another rainbow being drowned into darkness. He would just go back to how I made him feel after that kiss, and exactly how he felt when he couldn't get that guy back then. 

Everything made a turn around me. I figured my head was spinning and I needed some fresh air. Jisung couldn't be hurt again, I would never, ever forgive that to myself. 

I hurried outside, passing every corridor that was now completely empty. I had to make a decision, and I hated making decisions. I found it so difficult to decide to do something without regretting not having chosen the other option. But this time it was crucial, I had to choose: let myself fall for Jisung or keep living in a lie with Yoonmi.

I was finally out of the building. I dropped on a bench on the pavement right near the gallery. My head had stopped spinning, but I still needed some fresh air. I sat there, breathing deeply with my eyes closed. I was completely out of my mind. Wasn't this something mad people did? To sit on a public bench catching some breath because they can't make a decision?

I tried to relax. I tried to meditate and think about nothing. My thoughts kept flowing like waterfalls and they all reminded me how indecisive and delusional I was. I had never been good at life and will never be.

"Sir? You ok?" 

I opened my eyes, squinting them to see better. I sighed deeply. "Bang Chan." I closed my eyes again, dropping my head back.

"Do you need help?" He sounded rather worried.

I shook my head. "No, no I don't. It's just a moment, I swear."

"Another decision you can't make?"

I glared at him, side-eyeing him. He knew me way too well. I should've fired him before it was too late.

"Knew it." He chuckled and sat next to me.

Oh, how I hated him sometimes. He was always in the way whenever I was having a breakdown. Well, maybe I should've been grateful. He helped me out of those moments every single time without complaining. It was just in his nature to help others when in need. Such a shame since, to help others, he didn't help himself at all.

"What's the matter?"

I exhaled loudly. "It's something very serious and very private this time. I trust you, but I guess this time I really can't tell you." 

"It's fine." I had my eyes shut close, but I bet he was smiling. "Need a ride home?"

"No, I've brought my car and I would have no one to drive me here tomorrow morning."

"What about Yoonmi?"

"I would prefer not to see her right now." I affirmed, now holding my head in my hands as it started hurting.

"Oh, I see what it is now-"

"Really, it isn't because of her."

"Then why would you avoid seeing her?"

I gazed at Bang Chan. He had his stupid smile on. I groaned. Oh, I hated him so much sometimes. 

"We've been fighting a lot lately."

And it was from Bang Chan's relationship advice that I understood, I wanted to choose Jisung so bad.