Only For Real Love

PROLOGUE

"I'm so sick with your doubts, Jark." Eleonor slowly mumbled.

We are standing inside my arts room. The portrait I painted surrounds us. The atmosphere suddenly change for me. It's as if her eyes reflect with the tragic and sad themes of my artworks.

In a swift time I felt my heart drop just like how I am feeling when Im stroking my arms to create an amazing portraits.

I wanted to speak, we argue about my client earlier. She's over reacting about my client behavior. I got mad and shouted at her. I always does but tonight my regrets is way heavier than before.

I felt like I will be losing something for the rest of my life.

"If you think everything's was easy for me, you comprehend it wrong."

Her eyes started to water, her orbs glisten full of melancholy. She looks really tired and in the verge of giving up.

That's when my heart sink with the scenery I am seeing right now. I never saw her this weak and vulnerable. She's always on her proper self. She's getting mad and jealous but she never shouted. Speaking calmly in the middle of our argument is her usual self not this crying and whispering Eleonor.

"We enter this marriage out of love, I accepted my fate with you but I can't tolerate this anymore." She's crying and my heart tighten with that.

Where's the brave and compose Eleonor?

I don't want this behavior of her. I want her to throw me questions, I want her to reverse my imputation to her, I want her to pinpoint every sin I made. I want her to get mad of me.

I don't want her to give up.

"You were the one whose flirting around inside this arrange marriage, yet you always throw a fit when some men get close to me." This isn't the first time she said this line, but the difference today is she's in agony.

We are two meters away from each other but she still manage to step back away from me. It shows in her eyes that she wanted to get away from me.

Memories with her for three months started running around my mind as my heart clenched and my body get rigid.

"I was always faithful to you and you aren't."

Another bunch of tears drop from her eyes. Her orbs stare at me straight to my soul. She's like searching me and desperately looking for something. I remain calm, I can't let her see me in pain. She doesn't need to see me hurting with her words because I know that she'll back out with her rant.

That's how she is, letting go of her own pain and will deal with someone else's pain. I want to hear her feelings but at the same time wishing that this isn't the end.

"It's not okay seeing you with someone else but I keep my mouth shut because we'll just end up fighting. I am tired doing that, It worn me out, so I begin talking back at you."

Yeah, it's been a month since we begin fighting over something. Most especially my jealousy towards other men. I know that it was pure work and friend relationship but I can she blame me? I am... I am starting to see her in different light but she's just being civil to me.

I gulped when she close her eyes and bow her head, a second later she looks at me again. The time for me starting to run slow.

"It hurts me every time you are doubting me, because I never done something to make you doubt my faithfulness for you as your wife Fevrier." Hearing her calling me by my second name feels nostalgic.

This is the second time she called me by that name, the first was in our wedding day.

"I never doubted you even though you are all over the magazine with someone, I never doubted you when some of your clients acts suspiciously around you, I never doubted you when you are visiting your friend Merlina despite of knowing that she has a feeling for you, I never doubted every single movements of you." She's in despair and I don't like it.