KISS AND TELL ✷ Cedric Diggory.

𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲. the tragedy of the potters

prologue.

✷

Lily Evans had never expected herself to be a mother at just seventeen — when her teen years still echoed after her and she bathed in the childlike innocence that she carried with her since she was still ever so young. When she was still a bubbly young girl that wore pigtails and round ugly glasses, she had planned to be dumb and naive for a little while longer before settling down — Imagined her seventeenth year of life to go by in a wink with parties and meanigless hookups.

But things were now different now that the time came around: Instead of running around and getting drunk on Firewhiskey, making stupid decisions and staying up till dawn, Lily spend her late teens preparing for a war. So when she held the bundle of joy — Jamie Euphemia Potter in her arms for the first time and the burden of a war already seemed to crush her under its weight, Lily felt the world crumble around her. The thought of bearing a child in a world that was so cruel, so gruesomely dark seemed to much for her and her boyfriend James to carry.

Jamie was a pretty baby — although James supposed he was prone to find her the most beautiful baby in the entire world. She had big brown eyes that stared at James as though he was the most mesmerising thing her little head could imagine and with her tiny frame she fit in to James' arms as though she was meant for nothing other.

Later on looking back, the thought of it made James weep silently — If only he could have frozen the little time he had with her, have five more minutes with her, tell her one last time that he loved her— After the loss of their daughter, Lily and James Potter became a graveyard full of things left unsaid, they wandered through their days aimlessly as though the gap that their daughter left, left them without any responsibilities, wrote letters to Jamie. It was only months after Halloween 1981 that James and Lily allowed themselves to breath again, when the paint slowly started to chirp of the wall in Jamie's room and the layer of dust on her furniture and books became so thick that it whirled up a gust of filth whenever someone moved to quickly around it and Harry got so sick from it he had to be admitted to St. Mungos.

Still, they never quite let themselves rest — In the first few years, when Jamie's giggles still sounded so fresh and her toys gathered up unattended in every corner because Harry was still too young to play with them, it was their friends who made them move on. Although it stung, especially to Frank Longbottom and Remus Lupin who were supposed to have godfather-goddaughter dates with her and be the voice of reason when James got to overbearing, they knew they had to keep going, make sending her away worth it and make surviving the first Wizarding War worth it.

Over the years it got easier, of course. They celebrated the October 23rd, Jamie's birthday, with a big meal every year, went back to their jobs, watched Harry board the Hogwarts Express and slowly, as the time moved forward the little family healed.

Years later when the pain had long subsided and made place for a subtle ache in the pit of his stomach, James still wrote letters to his daughter occasionally — now they were not gut wrenching memoirs of a pained father but simple anecdotes about his daily life, meant to never be read by someone other than him. It was just easier, pretending that he still got to teach her important lessons throughout her child and teenage years.

Dear Jamie, he wrote one night when it all got a little too much to bear, Lately I have found myself writing you a lot, which when I come to think of it must be because of your fastly approaching birthday. 14 already!, his hand trembled slightly, the thought of 10 missed birthdays enough to make his heart throb. He thought of Harry's birthdays and how vast they celebrated them every year with a big meal with all of their little family — Sirirus and Remus brought the cake, Marlene and Mary helped with the decorations, Dorcas and the Longbottom pair with their son Neville made the food and the celebrations always went on deep into the night. James could only hope that Jamie's birthday were as greatly celebrated as Harry's.

He continued, his writing now looked a bit wonky and his e's were more gibberish than English but no one was meant to read them anyway, I wonder if you got any plans. I know that you are in school by the time of your birthday and your mother would probably kick me for saying this but I hope you let school be school for at least your birthday and just let yourself be celebrated. Got anything on your wishlist? Perhaps you're like your mother and wish for heaps of new books or more like me and a new broom? He stopped briefly as his eyes fell on the little wrapped box that had been sitting on his tabletop ever since he last seen his daughter. It was a birthday gift, meant to be given to her on her fourth birthday but things happened and now it had been unopened for almost ten years.

Sometimes when James couldn't sleep he imagined himself giving it to her — Imagined her big brown eyes that resembled his own down to the last detail lighting up as she spotted the small deer plushy that wore the same lilac sweater with a deer on that Sirius and Remus got her the year before. Now this would forever stay a distant dream.

"James?", a voice broke him away from the faded face of his daughter, her laughter slowly becoming an absent sound in the background, "Are you alright?"

James turned to find his wife leaning in the doorframe to his office, a frown evident on her face as she hugged herself against the cold breeze coming in from the opened window, "Why aren't you in bed?"

"Why aren't you in bed?", she scoffed, entering the office completely with a sigh.

"Couldn't sleep.", he muttered uneasily. He lowered his head as though he was a little kid getting caught skipping his homework by his mother, but Lily knew him good enough to know what he always did in his study.

She sighed once again, one hand moving to cup James' cheek, "James, I miss her too."

His heart skipped a beat — Lily was his best friend, they could talk about everything and anything but this was something that they had clamed up about until it was nothing but memories, packed up in the last corner of their brain.

Lily watched the feelings dance on James' features and felt her heart break a little. It was so easy to ignore the wave of emotions when there was another child, work — anything to take their mind off of it, but when the night broke in and wrapped them up in darkness, the young couple felt the world close up on their throat.

"Lily", James started but stopped as he found no words to say what he so desperately wanted to say, "Let's go to bed again."

Lily exhaled in despair but nodded nevertheless. James stood up without as much as a last glance to the letter and numbly followed Lily back to their shared bedroom.

It was only when they laid in their bed, wrapped up in each other's arms with the only light coming from the moon that the two allowed themselves to cry silently, "We're gonna see her again, Lily — One day."

꩜ 𖣠 𖦹

Hiya! So it's been very quiet on here for a while now and I'm deeply sorry for that LMAO BUT!! despite taking part in a writing contest AND being in my last school year after the holidays I'm hopeful I will start this story again as I really, really love the story I have in my head and Jamie ist just my <3 so yeah, sorry for the long wait!