chapter forty three: an explanation

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I sat in the living room. Finding myself alone for a few minutes I thought about what I was feeling. I mean a knot. Seriously. A knot in the pit of my stomach because of one simple action.

I silently curse at myself. We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. That's what I kept repeating in my head.

But even that couldn't deny the care I had for him. Yes, I liked him when we were in highschool. But we were teenagers. I didn't know if what I felt was truly all that pure but I never got to figure that out. The minute I started to like him as more than a friend he left.

He left me and didn't say a word. So I'll keep repeating that in my head. Because I don't think I could go through it again.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts hearing the door unlock. A few seconds later the others come rushing in, shivering from the cold. "FOODS HERE!" Bev's booming voice fills the entire house.

She sets the bags on the coffee table in the living room. We decided to open presents and eat at the same time. Not that there were many to be opened but it was still a decent idea. I was sitting down watching everyone open their gifts not expecting my name to be called.

"Dani, there's one for you." Marty says. I give him a confused look. For me? Who would get me something?

I stand up and walk over to the pile. Taking the present from his hands I see that it's from Bev. "What did you get me?" I smile looking at her.

"Shhh. Just open it." she shushes me. I shake my head and peel off the wrapping paper. When I opened the box I picked up a dark blue satin mini dress. It looked really familiar and then it clicked.

"Didn't you have this in your online shopping cart?" I ask to clarify.

"I did." she admits.

"Yeah I called it cute thinking you would get it for yourself." I laugh.

"Well I have enough dresses like that so I'm giving it to you." she smiles. "It'll look good Dani."

I thank her and they continue. Everyone got good gifts but the most memorable one was when Carter gave Hunter a roll of tape. He claimed that he asked him too much at practice so he could re-tape his stick. The conversation about it went on for twenty minutes.

The funniest one was the gift Allie gave Carter. She had stolen his "I Heart Hot Moms" shirt and wrote the word "Almost" before "Moms" making it read "I Heart Hot Almost Moms". He was more than amused and put it on immediately.

And that's all I could remember. To be honest I wasn't really paying attention. Picking at my food I kept glimpsing at Hunter uncontrollably. My eyes sort of had a mind of their own and kept drifting towards him.

I'm almost certain he caught me a few times but I just turned my head. I was so zoned out that I had missed a major joke that left the whole room laughing. When I snapped back to reality I sat there and tried to laugh it off, even though I had no idea what was going on.

Quieting down my eyes again landed on Hunter. He was still laughing and his smile made him look...pretty. Oh my god. Suddenly I felt like it was a hundred degrees in here. His eyes caught mine and he gave me a small smirk. That's when I stood up and walked out of the living room.

I couldn't sit there anymore. As I went up the stairs I couldn't help but think, did I like him again? No. So then what's going on with me? I don't know. I kept arguing with myself until I got to my room.

My biggest question was, is it okay for me to like him again? I mean what he did really messed me up. But he apologized. He cried in front of me. He wants to fix things.

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