Unspoken

Chapter 7

Isabella died on a warm, clear night, when the sky was full of stars, and a soft breeze with the scent of flowers filled the air. The sound of the water lapping against the brick echoed in the night, as John held her in his arms and danced with her. She was too weak to stand, so he carried her close, and simply swayed with her body. He knew she was gone when the hand she had resting on his chest fell limply to her side. All he could do for several moments was stand there, and cry softly. Even knowing that she would soon be gone didn't lessen the pain of knowing that she finally was.

The week leading up to her burial had been a complete blur for John. He had allowed Marlena to take care of the arrangements, which she had planned ahead with Isabella. He stood on a hill, overlooking Naples, staring at the spot where she was buried, next to her mother, and he couldn't seem to stop the tears. Losing her felt like a part of his soul had been stolen.

He felt Marlena's soft hand caress his back gently, "Do you want to stay longer?"

Turning to face her, he realized that she had Brady in her arms. He'd barely spent any time with his son over this past week. Looking at Brady was difficult, because he looked so much like his mother. John touched his son's face. "Hey, slugger," he said softly.

"Would you like to hold him?" Marlena asked him.

"I'm ready to go now," he said quietly, reaching for his son, and running his hand over the boys face gently.

Marlena had watched John over the last month and a half as he started to go through the stages of grief as soon as Isabella was diagnosed. He'd already dealt with denial, anger, and bargaining. He was currently dealing with depression, and Marlena was scared that he might shut down completely. Threading her fingers through his, she said, "Let's go home."

John looked at her, tears still shining in his eyes, "Home?"

"Right now I mean the townhouse, but we can talk about the next step if you want to."

"I'm so lost, Doc," he said, adjusting Brady in his arms, and kissing the top of his head. "I don't know how I would manage this without you."

"You don't have to worry about that," she said, tugging him with her. "I'm here to help you. I promised Isabella, and I—I want to, John. I want to be here for you."

John pulled her body close, wrapping his arm around her, and they started walking down the hill, towards the car. Over the last week, Marlena had been the thing that kept him from sinking into oblivion. She kept him grounded in reality, and she had taken on the brunt of Brady's care as well. Now that Isabella was laid to rest, they were going to have to discuss the next step. John knew they couldn't stay in Italy forever, but he wasn't sure he was ready to go back to Salem. He started talking quietly, "I might take Brady somewhere for a bit before I go back to Salem."

She squeezed his hand, "Do you have a place in mind, or you're just not ready to go home yet?"

"I don't know, Doc. I don't think I can—I'm not ready to go home yet," he said. "I can't face the loft right now."

"I was thinking about going to see the twins before I headed home..." she said, leaving it open at the end.

"Is that an invitation?" he asked her with a small smile.

She stopped walking, and turned to face him, looking up at him, "That is absolutely an invitation. They would love to see you...but would it be too much for you?"

"I need—I need a distraction, and G-d, I miss the twinners so much."

"They miss you, and they would love to see Brady. We could maybe rent a place. I think now isn't the time to stay with my parents," Marlena told him. "The space is going to be what you need."