Unspoken

Chapter 5

September 22, 1992

John came down the stairs in his bathrobe, smiling at Isabella. "Well, he's all tucked in again."

She leaned back against the arm of the couch, "He just wanted to hang out with us for a while."

"This late at night?" John laughed.

"I don't mind," she told him gently. "I enjoy my time with our son so much."

"I enjoy my time with you," he whispered, wrapping his hand around her ankle while pulling her leg over his lap when he settled next to her. He leaned over, kissing her softly. "Now, are you going to tell me what's got those wheels turning inside that pretty little noggin?"

"Pretty little noggin? Is that what goes for flattery nowadays?" She kissed him back, and then sank back into the couch, staring up at him.

He grinned. "Would you like me to tell you that I find you devastatingly beautiful, and I will love you until the end of time?"

"That's better," she laughed. She reached up, trailing her fingers along his jaw. "I've been thinking, and I've made a very exciting discovery."

"Hm? What's that?"

"I've been liberated," she said.

"Liberated?"

"I'm free," she whispered. "Knowing that I don't have that much longer left to live has taken away some of my fears."

John felt the sharp ache of grief in his chest. He closed his eyes, saying, "I'm afraid you're not making much sense right now."

"Okay. Okay. Look at it this way, what are people more afraid of than anything else?" She adjusted her position on the couch, so that she could more directly meet his gaze. John cocked an eyebrow at her, but didn't answer. So she asked, "Of dying, right? Well, I know when that's going to happen for me... and it's going to happen no matter what I do."

John's voice was soft as he replied, "I don't see why that's any reason to celebrate."

"No," she told him gently, "but it's inevitable. So what's to stop me from doing things or facing things that used to terrify me? Like skydiving or–or race car driving, or bungee jumping?"

"W–wait. You mean to tell me you want to go bungee jumping?" he asked her incredulously.

Isabella laughed. "I guess. I'm talking about more of a psychological liberation than a physical one. I don't want to go bungee jumping."

He couldn't help the sigh of relief he exhaled. "I am glad to hear that."

Isabella stared into his eyes thinking of all of the things she'd been so afraid of over the last year. Marlena's face came to mind, and instead of the normal possessive reaction she felt, her mind only felt peace. Marlena had been one of her biggest fears. Her fear of John loving Marlena, or making his way back to her. None of that mattered anymore. It was inevitable, just as she'd said, but he didn't know where her mind was. He didn't know that Isabella had decided that Marlena was John's inevitable future.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roman had barely spoken a few sentences to Marlena since their conversation eight days earlier. It had been a tense week. Every time they encountered one another, she tried to talk to him, and he found reasons not to. He was late for work. He was in a hurry. He was tired. She knew he was doing it intentionally, but there was nothing she could do about it. That didn't mean it hurt any less.

She stood in the middle of the living room staring at the front door that had just closed as her husband left to go to work, and she sighed. He was angry, and his pride was hurt. She wasn't sure if he was actually bothered that she might be leaving for two months, or if he was simply concerned with how it might look to those outside their marriage.